


PACKAGE DEAL

by chasing_the_wild_dream



Series: Package Deal - universe [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: AU, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Romance, Slow Burn, a post a day, alternative universe, kind of an x-mas fic, works like an x-mas calendar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-09 04:02:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 55,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12879765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasing_the_wild_dream/pseuds/chasing_the_wild_dream
Summary: Regina Mills is having a bad day as it is.Bumping into her best friend Kathryn's new personal assistant leaves her with coffee stains all over her shirt and more than a little intrigued, which is completely unusual for Regina and she goes well out of her way to get to know the mysterious blonde.Kathryn watches in worry because she knows that Emma's secret will probably leave both women heartbroken one way or another.Is Kathryn right or will life take an unexpected turn for all of them?





	1. The new assistant

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LilliRegina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilliRegina/gifts), [Misslane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misslane/gifts), [SmashleySimpson](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmashleySimpson/gifts), [Endless](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Endless/gifts), [SandyLane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandyLane/gifts), [Dances_In_Ashes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dances_In_Ashes/gifts).



> _AUTHOR'S NOTE:_
> 
> Hello everyone,
> 
> I know, I know…I have stories to update (since months), but this is different.  
> I’ve wanted to do something like this for years, but either lacked the time or the idea.  
> Funny enough, while I don’t celebrate X-Mas myself, I love gift shopping for others (not only around X-Mas time though).
> 
> So here is the thing:  
> I wanted to write a SQ story that involved X-Mas since forever and I had this plan that I would write 25 chapters and post daily starting December 1. Like a Christmas calendar basically.  
> And it’s finally happening.  
> Needless to say I’m excited!
> 
> A few things first: the story is completely AU.  
> Storybrooke is not a small town, but a relatively big city in this story.
> 
> There will be 25 chapters, so the story will end on December 25 and there will be an epilogue on December 31 to end the year on a hopefully good note and start 2018 with a little bit of love.
> 
> This story is my gift to all the SQ shippers out there.  
> Truth be told it’s been a wild ride ever since I started writing SQ fanfiction back in 2013.  
> A lot has happened since then, good and bad, but what has remained are the friendships.  
> The friendships that have made the whole madness worthwhile.
> 
>  _SPECIAL THANKS_ to my dear friends **Agata, Peggy, Mariah, MissLane, Ana, Sarah, Marta, Richard, John & Sandra.**
> 
>  **Agata** and I go way back - we’ve known each other since the days of GL. Good memories! She’s the best.
> 
>  **Peggy** is simply the sweetest.
> 
>  **Mariah** \- God, you really have saved me and my belief in “Take me to Wonderland”. You might not know it, but the reason why I’m still working on this story is you. Because you blew into my life at a time when I really doubted that I’d ever find the strength to finish this story. And on top of it all we became friends. So, thank you!
> 
> The ever so talented **MissLane** for everything she’s done for this fandom, no matter how hard some people made life for her - thanks for keeping the SQ spirit alive all these years with your amazing fan art. More than that for being my friend.
> 
>  **Ana** , who happens to be the most dramatic person I know (next to myself) and who always makes me laugh. And on top of it all she’s a total badass, I swear!
> 
>  **Sarah** for being the outstanding person you are. And because you are part of the wolfpack.
> 
>  **Marta** \- my lovely friend; not only incredibly talented, but such a sweet soul. I can’t believe you're back home already because it’s always such a delight to have you here. Till next time in another country ;)
> 
>  **Richard** \- for all our conversations about life and the wilderness. And being free and rid of this godforsaken society.
> 
> My darling **John** \- oh my, what can I say? I expected a lot from this fandom, but never you. Thank you for being so damn great. You’ll always be a part of my life from here on forward - with some people you simply know. Can’t wait to see you soon - here or there, we’ll make it happen, dear.
> 
> And last, but definitely not least **Sandra** , my outstanding companion and partner in crime lol - I think nobody understands my love for my dogs the way you do. Thank you for being this insanely amazing and decent person and the friend that I needed (but probably don’t deserve).  
> Working on all our projects with you has been one of the highlights of my year and should the apocalypse ever become a thing I want to battle it with you. You believed in this story when I wasn’t sure I would be able to pull it off, but you supported me from the get-go and were/are the sounding board that has helped me bring this story to life.
> 
> And of course THANKS to my **beloved dogs** , who make all this possible by simply providing me with their unconditional love and therefore with the stability I need, mentally, to keep writing.  
> They are the best part of me and I couldn’t love them more.
> 
>  
> 
> I wish all of you a beautiful December and a lovely X-Mas time!  
> And now let’s get this show on the road.  
> I hope you’ll like it.
> 
> Much love to everyone!  
> Raven xo

**R** egina Mills was late.  
And she was never late.  
She despised people who were late. Truth be told, she fired them.

Which meant she wasn’t only in a hurry, but also in a mood. In a worse one than usual and considering that her employees called her The Evil Queen on a good day that was saying something.

She rushed down the corridor, phone in hand, typing vigorously, and the next thing she knew was that there was a huge coffee stain on her white button down shirt and her skin burned in the place where the hot liquid had spread.

What the hell?

Looking up she met the wild, green eyes of an unfamiliar blonde woman, who glared at her in disbelief, her shirt covered in coffee stains as well.

“Watch out where you are going, you idiot!”, Regina hissed.

“Me? You can’t be serious, lady! You were too busy staring at your phone and you bumped into me, not the other way round!”, the blonde fired back and it caught Regina off guard.

Completely off guard.  
Nobody ever talked back to her. People knew better than that.

She was furious and deep down maybe even a little impressed, not that she would ever admit that, but that was beside the point.  
Regina was about to bark at the woman for her audacity when Kathryn appeared next to her all of a sudden, an amused grin on her face.

There was nothing to laugh about!

“Don’t mind her, Emma. Regina is just her usual cranky self. It’s part of her charm. It’s all bark and no bite.”

“Excuse me?”, Regina glared at her best friend, visibly affronted.

Emma’s eyes went wide in horror, “That’s Regina? Shit. I mean…I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

Kathryn only chuckled, “Regina, meet my new personal assistant Emma Swan.”

The brunette sneered, “I see you still had no luck in finding a competent one.”

“Regina, be nice!”, Kathryn slapped her shoulder playfully, “She’s the best assistant I’ve had in years.”

A look of utter disbelief spread on Regina’s face while she looked at her ruined shirt, “Kathryn, dear…if you really think she’s the best you can do…I’m afraid I have to worry about your sanity.”

It was the moment Emma snapped out of her stupor, the moment she snapped altogether.

“Listen, lady. You were so engrossed in your stupid phone, you didn’t even realize I was in the corridor. Nor that you moved to the left more and more with every step you took before you bumped into me.”

“I did no such thing”, Regina insisted and to her irritation, Kathryn and Emma both chuckled in amusement.

“Well, considering that you’re barely an inch away from bumping into the left wall I’d like to say otherwise”, Emma added, her smile smug.

Regina wanted to disagree, but as soon as she opened her mouth she closed it because yes, she truly was standing right next to said wall.

“Besides that”, Kathryn stated carelessly, “I saw you, Regina. Emma is right.”

“Why the hell didn’t you warn me?”, a threatening glare was directed at her best friend, but Regina was well aware it was pointless. She’d never achieve that particular task. She might be able to intimidate anyone she wanted, but she’d never succeed when it came to Kathryn Midas. Simply because they’d known each other since they were little and more than that Kathryn had seen her at her weakest, lowest moments.

“Because this is so much more fun”, Kathryn winked at Regina, knowing full well what her friend was thinking.  
Good thing Regina didn’t have magic or she would have probably set her on fire.

Emma couldn’t help, but laugh out loud.  
She liked her new boss and her sense of humor. She could honestly say there was never a dull moment working for Kathryn.

Regina sighed heavily, “Why are we friends again?”

“Because I’m the only one who has enough patience to deal with you and your antics. And nobody’s got the time to decipher that complex personality of yours”, Kathryn teased though it wasn’t that far from the truth.

“I hate you”, Regina snarled, but the comment only made Kathryn laugh, “No, you don’t.”

Without further comment, Kathryn grabbed Regina’s arm and dragged her along, but stopped right outside of her office and looked over her shoulder at her seemingly amused assistant, “Oh, and Emma? Don’t hesitate to send our lovely Miss Mills here the bill from the dry cleaners. She can afford to cover it.”

Emma only laughed.  
And a bill never came.


	2. Just a little stalker-ish

**R** egina was intrigued by Emma Swan and she didn’t know why.  
Their first meeting had been nothing short of a disaster, but she had greeted Regina with an honest smile on her face ever since.  
Not that she had been over at Kathryn’s office often because she had been quite busy running her own company and Kathryn usually came over to her house in the evening or on the weekends, but the few times she had been there during the next couple of weeks Emma had always been nice.

Which was weird, considering how she had treated her.

And Regina felt slightly guilty, not that she would ever admit that. Not even over her dead body.  
It was a foreign concept really because she usually walked all over people without so much as a blink and yet she had offered to buy Emma coffee or take her to lunch as an apology.  
Kathryn was so fond of her new assistant and Regina liked to tell herself that was the reason why she had made an effort.  
Denial was a wonderful thing, wasn’t it?

Interesting enough Emma had declined both invitations, but Regina had been hellbent on making it up to the blonde somehow so she had thrown in more invitations - dinner or drinks.  
And the result had been the same.  
Emma had declined and Regina found it maddening.

Nobody said ‘no’ to an invitation to whatever really by Regina Mills. No one in the right mind at least.  
And then there was Emma Swan.

She really had no idea what to make of Kathryn’s new assistant.  
Her best friend adored Emma, that much was certain, but besides that Regina knew absolutely nothing about the mysterious blonde who had started to occupy her mind.  
Needless to say Regina grew more and more frustrated, but also irritated. And oh so very intrigued that she thought she might go crazy.

That was how she found herself in front of Emma’s vacant desk once again because Kathryn would be in a meeting for another hour at least which definitely had its perks because Regina didn’t want to be interrogated, not that she would be able to explain her rather irrational behaviour, and she was certain that Kathryn would never let her live it down if she would know what was going on.

Then again, what was going on?  
Because Regina, for the first time in her life, didn’t have a clue.

“Hello Miss Mills”, Emma walked into the room, carrying some folders, “Kathryn isn’t here I’m afraid. And she won’t come back in anymore today.”

“Oh?”  
That was information Regina hadn’t known and she was a bit confused. Kathryn usually told her everything and most of the stuff she didn’t even want to know and yet she had to suffer through her best friend’s oversharing because, well, she wasn’t quite sure why, but she assumed that was what best friends did. Didn’t they?

Emma shrugged, “Don’t ask me. She didn’t say anything other than that she’d take a half day. Anyway…can I do something for you? Do you want to leave a message?”   
She thought about it for a moment before she added, “Probably not what with you being best friends and all. You could just call her.”

“Actually”, Regina cleared her throat, “I’m here to talk to you.”

“Me?”   
Emma looked at her in confusion.

The last couple of weeks Regina had tried to invite Emma to what she considered an apology - lunch whenever she came to see Kathryn and it had been annoying because she had to be so sneaky to avoid Kathryn finding out, especially after Emma had shut her down the first time.  
But now Kathryn wasn’t here and that was a triumph in itself as far as Regina was concerned.  
Best friends or not, Kathryn didn’t have to know everything as she apparently didn’t either considering that she had no idea why Kathryn wouldn’t return to the office that day.

“Yes”, Regina realized she should probably answer, “I came to ask…”

“Please don’t say you’re still trying to buy me lunch because you feel like you have to apologize”, Emma smiled, “You’re already forgiven, Miss Mills.”  
Her tone was teasing which was a good thing because otherwise Regina would have probably felt attacked and that wouldn’t have ended well, for neither of them.

“Just lunch then, no apology”, Regina replied and yes, she must have gone crazy.   
What was she doing?

Emma eyed her curiously, “Are you trying to ask me out? Is this what this is? What this has been all along?”

Regina panicked.  
She hadn’t, she didn’t, she.  
Was that why she was so hellbent on getting Emma to agree? Because she wanted to go on a date with her?  
Well, would that be so bad? Surely she wasn’t the worst date out there. Of course, she wasn’t the most social person and she was complicated and she hadn’t been on a date in a while because work had kept her busy and she wasn’t looking for anything serious because, well, reasons.  
And yet.

“No?”, she finally managed to say and it really was more of a question than an answer and Regina sounded unconvincing and insecure and she hated it.  
Seriously, what the hell was going on?

Emma took a deep breath, “I’m flattered either way. That you are going to such lengths to invite me to lunch or dinner. Or whatever. And it’s really nothing personal, but I don’t date.”

Oh.

“I see”, Regina tried to process what had just transpired, but she wasn’t sure that she was doing so well with that particular realisation, “My apologies. I didn’t know you were in a relationship.”

“That’s because I’m not”, Emma stated simply, “I just don’t date.”

And Regina found herself more confused than ever. Unfortunately, her level of intrigue had risen tenfold as well.

\-------------

She had come from a meeting when she had seen Emma leave the building and head to the coffee shop at the corner for the first time a couple of days later and Regina hadn’t given it much thought.  
Until she had witnessed the same scene the next week and it had given her some pause.

Her office being in the building opposite from Midas Media did have its perks and so she had started to “spy” on Emma and although she knew that it was a bit stalker-ish, she hadn’t been able to help herself.  
And after closer observation Regina had come to the conclusion that Emma Swan took her lunch break at the same time every day, 12. 15 pm sharp, like clockwork, and she always frequented the same little coffee shop.  
Every single day.

So she cleared her schedule around lunchtime the next day because she had a coffee to buy.  
Emma Swan and her insistence that it wasn’t necessary be damned.

\-------------

Regina made sure to arrive before Emma because God knows she’d need the moment of surprise or she’d never get the blonde to agree.  
God, that woman was stubborn, frustratingly so really.

While she waited doubt started to creep in on Regina and that was something she was completely unfamiliar with.  
At least when it came to matters such as this.  
Usually she oozed confidence, as long as she could keep people at arm’s length at least, but right then she felt vulnerable in a way she hadn’t since her childhood.

Maybe this was a stupid idea. Maybe she should leave before…

Too late.

Emma entered the small café, smile on her face and went straight to the counter and ordered a hot chocolate with cinnamon and a bear claw and Regina moved without even noticing, almost robotically.

“Add a Chai Latte to that order. I’m paying”, she said to the girl at the register and pulled her credit card from her purse while Emma’s eyes went wide, “I can’t believe you. Taking ‘no’ for an answer really isn’t your strong suit, huh?”

“It’s just coffee. Well, more like hot chocolate really. It’s not like I’m proposing”, Regina fired back and closed her eyes.  
Where the hell had that come from?   
Good grief, she really had to get a grip.

Emma barked out a laugh, “I’d like to think you’re smarter than getting yourself into something as serious as marriage without conditions and drawing up all kinds of contracts and whatnot considering that you are a successful business woman and all.”

Was that a compliment?

Thankfully their orders were put on the counter before Regina could have said something else utterly embarrassing and she grabbed her to-go-cup, not sure why she hadn’t gotten a proper mug, but then she realized everyone else had the same so she didn’t bother asking.  
Probably the dishwasher was broken or it was some ridiculous new concept.

Emma went over and took her seat in the corner and Regina made for the door, but didn’t get far before the blonde’s voice stopped her dead in her tracks, “And where do you think you are you going?”

“I’m heading back to work”, Regina said matter-of-factly, causing Emma to look at her in confusion, “So after weeks of trying to convince me to…to have lunch with you…you are buying me said lunch to let me drink it by myself?”

Well, it sounded dumb, incredibly stupid really if Regina was honest, when she thought about it that way.

“Get over her and take a seat”, Emma didn’t leave room for discussion, “You wanted to have lunch, so we are having lunch.”


	3. Don't sell yourself short

**T** o Regina’s and Emma’s surprise they get along splendidly while they engaged in a heated discussion about books and movies.  
It hadn’t stayed unnoticed by Regina that Emma was incredibly smart and that working as a personal assistant was basically a waste, but she knew she was in no position to ask about that.  
At least not yet.  
Maybe one day.

At the same time, Emma was eyeing Regina curiously, still trying to figure out what the other woman’s intentions were because truth be told she didn’t have a clue.

There had been some, what people would consider flirty, banter while they had discussed the lack of fresh and original ideas when it came to movies and how boring and annoying all those, mostly unimpressive, remakes had become.

“So, what’s your deal, Regina? Because I can’t, for the life of me, figure out why you were so hellbent on having lunch with me?”, Emma blurted out before she lost her nerve and Regina immediately held up her hands in surrender, “I know, I know. You aren’t dating. And I wasn’t even…I.”  
She took a deep breath, “I was rude that day and you didn’t take my bullshit. It was refreshing. And ever since you’ve been nice to me although I was such a bitch. So I thought…I don’t know what I thought. That we could be friends maybe?”

Emma tilted her head, her gaze intense, “And why would the great Regina Mills want to be friends with me of all people?”

The answer caused Regina to raise her eyebrow, “Now, now, dear. Don’t sell yourself short.”

\-------------

Emma had agreed to meet Regina for lunch once a week and they had chosen Tuesday as “their” day because it wasn’t as busy as Mondays and Thursdays and Fridays tended to be stressful because of the weekend being around the corner which had left them with only two options and Regina had admitted that Wednesdays she usually was stuck in meetings all day.

And so a delicate friendship had started to form over the next couple of weeks.  
A friendship that left Regina even more intrigued, but also utterly irritated because she had always thought she was a private and closed off person, but Emma truly gave her a run for her money.

The blonde had been pretty evasive about her childhood, her current living situation, about anything really and although Emma had insisted that she was simply boring Regina had known right away that there was a lot more to Emma Swan than her new friend had let on.

Funny enough Regina had felt so comfortable in Emma’s presence anyway and she had started to share anecdotes of her childhood and how her mother had been strict, but wonderful and caring. How her father had a drinking and a gambling problem and it had only been thanks to Cora that the family business hadn’t gone to hell. And she’d shared stories about her childhood and how Kathryn had always gotten her into trouble, to which Emma had only responded that some things apparently didn’t change.

\-------------

Saturday evening Regina was sitting in front of the fireplace in the study of her mansion with a glass of her favourite red wine and a book, Hades sleeping at her feet.The two-year-old dog had been Cora’s last gift to her and Regina treasured him more than anything. His company was always appreciated and never an annoyance. Neither was his loyalty.

Kathryn had wanted to come over for dinner, but had to cancel because her father had come for a surprise visit.

Regina didn’t mind all that much because her week had been extra stressful and she was looking forward to a quiet night in when she remembered that she had a meeting scheduled for the upcoming Tuesday and that she wouldn’t be able to make it to lunch with Emma.  
It was the moment she realised that she couldn’t even cancel because she didn’t have the blonde’s number.

She hoped Emma wouldn’t be mad or jumping to the conclusion that she had enough of her or something because truth be told, Regina had no intention to get rid of the blonde. If anything she wanted to get to know her better.  
There was something about Emma that drew her in, like a moth to a flame, but she wasn’t sure what it was.  
Probably the kindness that shone out of those sparkling eyes every time she saw Emma.

A heavy sadness was hidden in those eyes as well Regina had come to realise, but she knew she couldn’t push Emma to share more than she was ready to.

The shrill sound of her cell phone almost made her spill her wine and jump out of her skin, causing Regina to curse out loud before she answered the phone, not even bothering to check for the caller ID because it could only be one person.  
Nobody else dared to disturb her weekends, not unless they had a death wish at least. Or it was an absolute emergency.

“Daddy finally went to bed. Regina, I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it to dinner. I feel like we haven’t seen each other in ages”, Kathryn sighed dramatically.

“It’s fine, Kat. Don’t worry about it. And it’s not my fault that you are travelling so much lately.”

“Don’t I know it! I’m sick of living out of a suitcase, believe me. But I’m not in the mood to talk about work. How are you, Regina?”

She took a sip of her wine, “I’m good. Reading.”

“Of course, you little bookworm”, Kathryn teased, “Everyone in your office still alive?”

“I thought you didn’t want to talk about work? And yes, I’m happy to inform you that I haven’t killed anyone. Which has been quite an achievement considering the incompetence of these idiots. I fired Ashley though”, Regina admitted, a satisfied smirk on her face.

“Ashley? Your secretary? Why? She was nice, I liked her”, Kathryn whined.

“Because she was late twice in three days and then I caught her talking on the business line with her boyfriend!”, Regina snarled.  
She hadn’t even wanted to take over the family business because the brewery had never been her idea of a future, but she had done it in the end because she hadn’t wanted to disappoint her mother and these days she was glad that she had given in.  
It helped her to feel close and connected to Cora because she missed her terribly.

“Oh boy”, Kathryn sighed, “Which reminds me…I need to call Emma because daddy is leaving Monday afternoon so I think I’ll take the day off if I can afford it.”

Regina remembered the lunch “date” she wouldn’t be able to make it to, “Speaking of Emma. Can you please tell her that I can’t make it to lunch on Tuesday.”

There was silence on the other side of the line for a while and it unnerved Regina more than she cared to admit, “Kathryn?”

“You are having lunch with Emma?”

“Well, no. I mean, yes. Usually, we have lunch together on Tuesdays, but I can’t next Tuesday because I have to meet up with a potential new customer for the cider. Could be a big deal too.”

“You’re usually having lunch on Tuesdays with my assistant?”, Kathryn shrieked, “Why don’t I know about this? What’s going on?”

“Stop yelling, Kat!”, Regina took a deep breath, “As you said yourself only a few minutes ago. We haven’t seen much of each other lately and it’s not like Emma and I are doing anything salacious. I wanted to make up for that unfortunate coffee incident the first time we met so I invited her to lunch. She didn’t want to at first because she said it wasn’t necessary, but I convinced her eventually and we’re meeting up for lunch once a week now. Mostly discussing books or movies and such. It’s no big deal. I just don’t want her to feel like I stood her up or I got sick of her or anything and I don’t have her number, so could you please tell her I’m terribly sorry, but I have a meeting on Tuesday?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I can do that”, Kathryn answered, obviously in thought, “So, there’s nothing going on between you and Emma?”

“Like what?”

“You’re not into her Regina, are you?”

“Of course not!”

“Regina, you are aware that I know you a lot better than you know yourself…”, Kathryn warned and this time it was Regina who sighed, “Fine. I might be interested or at least I could be if Emma were available. I mean she’s beautiful and clever. And she challenges me. It’s a rare combination. But honestly, I’m fine with what we have because I’m not even sure I’d want a relationship if the opportunity arose.”

“Good, that’s…good”, Kathryn wasn’t convinced and if she was honest she feared the worst, “Regina, I need to ask you for a favour.”

“What is it that you need, Kathryn?”  
Regina knew better than to agree to any request of her best friend blindly. The last time she had done that she had almost gotten married in Las Vegas.

Kathryn seemed to struggle for words for a moment and that made Regina feel incredibly anxious because Kathryn was usually a very forward person.

“I get that you like Emma. And there’s surely nothing wrong with the two of you being friends, but keep it at that, Regina. Please. For your sake and for Emma’s.”

Regina wasn’t sure what was going on until an unwelcome thought hit her, “Kathryn, are you and Emma…is that why she said she doesn’t date?”

“What? No! Regina, what the hell are you talking about? I’m not into women, you of all people should know that”, Kathryn replied immediately. The last thing she needed was Regina thinking that there was something going on between her and Emma because it couldn’t be further from the truth, “Just trust me on this one, Regina. I mean you no harm.”

They said their goodbyes after that, but their call didn’t leave either of them unaffected.

While Regina was simply confused Kathryn couldn’t help the worry that slowly spread in her chest.  
Regina and Emma couldn’t fall in love with one another, that much was certain.  
Because it would end in nothing, but heartache.


	4. An unexpected party guest

**A** s the weeks passed Regina’s and Emma’s friendship grew as close as their lunch “dates” would allow them although Regina had to admit that she still didn’t know much about Emma.  
She’d expected to grow tired or bored at some point as Emma didn’t talk about anything private really other than that her parents were long gone as well and that she loved to go camping, which Regina couldn’t, for the life of her, understand.

But Emma’s passion for hiking and spending time in the wilderness had fascinated her anyway and so she had let the blonde talk about climbing on top of mountains to just breathe. About stunning views and even about some mishaps and nasty weather.  
And Regina found she was as intrigued as she had been on day one.

Emma teasing her about being an uptight business lady who hadn’t learned to have real fun between champagne and caviar sandwiches was something she found great amusement in if Regina was honest, which was surprising as she usually didn’t take it well if anyone dared to make fun of her.  
But with Emma everything was different.

Because of Emma’s kindness.  
And because she knew, without a doubt, that the blonde did respect her and her career and was aware that she hadn’t gotten where she was today by simply being a spoiled brat or because she had been born into the “right” family.

Truth be told the company had almost gone bankrupt once because her father had left them more debts than anything and it had taken Cora a while to do damage control in the years after her father’s death.  
And then she had lost her mother too.

Some days Regina was fine and some days all she wanted to do was to stay at home with Hades and go for a walk across the family estate, but of course she couldn’t do that.  
Work wouldn’t allow for that, especially not this year with the launch of their new products.

Meeting Emma Swan had been the twist her life had undoubtedly needed and their banter had enriched it immensely.  
Their banter was something Regina appreciated more than she would ever admit as it was so different from her friendship with Kathryn and yet it made her feel safe.

And that was the reason why Regina had decided to invite Emma to the one party she hosted at the estate every year in July.  
She had kept that one tradition of her parents going to hold their memory high although she hated to have people all over the place, but it was only once a year so she had managed to arrange herself with it.

Emma, of course, had told her that she wouldn’t be able to make it, but she had handed her an invitation anyway because they had become friends after all.  
And one invited their friends to their parties, right?

\-------------

“Graham, make sure to lock the doors to all of my rooms. And double check that Hades is in one of them. I don’t want a repeat performance of last year”, Regina said while she glanced at her wristwatch.

3.07 pm.

The first guests would arrive in less than half an hour and she felt like nothing was ready.

“Regina, breathe. Everything looks spectacular. You’ve outdone yourself yet again”, Kathryn praised as she stepped onto the terrace next to her, “The weather is great as well, so there’s nothing to worry about.”

She heard the dog barking inside and sighed, “I’ll be right back.”

“Yeah, better make sure that little devil of yours stays far away from the buffet this year”, Kathryn chuckled, amused by the memories of half of the appetizers on the floor and Hades right in the middle.  
It had been priceless, especially since Regina’s dog was usually so well behaved.

\-------------

Regina hated all the mingling and the schmoozing, but it came with running a successful business.  
That didn’t make it any easier to stay friendly and interested in conversations she had no desire to engage in and she wished people would just leave already, but it wasn’t even 8 pm yet.  
She’d have to endure this for at least another two hours.

Kathryn, on the other hand, revelled in all the attention thrown at her and Regina had to admit that she envied her best friend’s ability to socialize with about anyone. If only it would be that easy for her.

And then she saw red.  
Literally.

Emma Swan, in a vision of a red tube dress, walked down the stairs with her wild, blonde mane bouncing in sync with every step she took and Regina was temporarily at a loss for words.

She might be over three hours late, but there was no doubt Emma showing up would be the highlight of her day and even Regina knew it would be pointless to even try to deny that.

“You made it”, she rasped out once Emma stood in front of her with a shy smile, “I’m sorry I’m late.”

She made an excuse to leave her father’s oldest friend to himself because she had listened to his complaints about none of his children wanting to take over the family business long enough anyway and while she couldn’t blame them for wanting a life of their own either she couldn’t voice that opinion. 

Regina took Emma by the arm and led her over to a table with drinks, “I didn’t think I’d see you here.”

“I’m not sure that it was a good idea to come to be honest”, Emma confessed, “I mean look at this place! It’s beautiful and I haven’t even seen that manor of yours from the inside. But I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who couldn’t even afford the drinks here, except for the staff.”

“Is that why you didn’t want to come?”, Regina was beyond irritated. Emma should know by now that she didn’t care about how much money someone had or didn’t have. She might not be overly social, but she wasn’t shallow.

“Partially. But I really thought I wouldn’t be able to make it. Not that I have the first clue why you invited me, but thank you.”

“Emma, you are my friend. Of course I invited you. I mean we are friends…aren’t we?”, Regina felt the insecurities and the doubt crawl back out of their hiding place. While Emma made her feel safe she couldn’t help, but wonder why Emma was so nice to her. Clearly she wasn’t after her for her money or any such gain nor for her body, so it made her wonder because people rarely had been kind to her in life. Especially not without expecting anything in return. But Emma was different, she knew that. And that’s why it all made no sense.

A smile appeared on Emma’s face, “Yeah. I’d like to believe that we are friends by now.”

Regina nodded and was about to say that she was glad when Kathryn interrupted with a delighted, “Emma! I didn’t know you were coming, but it’s so good to see you.”  
And yet Regina didn’t miss the worried look her best friend shot her while she hugged Emma in greeting.  
Whatever that meant.  
Clearly Kathryn wasn’t too fond of her friendship with Emma, but Regina didn’t know why and it was not like Kathryn had given her anything, but cryptic answers in regards to Emma lately.  
Why was her best friend so concerned about the situation?

\-------------

Emma and Regina were sitting on the terrace although everyone else had left at this point, even Kathryn. They were talking about the Mills estate and its history which Emma seemed to be honestly interested in and Regina was pleased because she hardly ever got to talk about it these days as Kathryn knew everything there was to know about her family history and nobody else cared.

“So while my great-grandfather didn’t build the house he remodelled most of it and made it into what it is today. Of course it has been renovated since, but we tried to keep it’s charm since the whole estate has been in my family’s possession for five generations”, Regina was proud of everything her family had accomplished and stood for, despite the fact that her father had almost ruined it all.

“That’s really impressive, Regina. I wish we could talk some more, but I really have to go. It’s getting late”, Emma smiled apologetically.

“Of course.”  
Regina couldn’t help, but feel a bit disappointed, but she would be lying if she'd say that she wasn't tired because she was exhausted to the bone.

She walked Emma to the front of the house and pulled her into a hug before she could think better of it, “Thank you so much for coming. You saved me.”

Emma chuckled, but didn’t pull away, “From what? Getting completely wasted on your fancy drinks?”

Regina took a small step back, careful not to leave the embrace, but she needed to get a better look at the blonde, “No. I just hate these parties. They are necessary in regards to keep up business contacts and so on, but I don’t care for most of these people. Conversation is usually incredibly boring. So, thank you for coming. It really means a lot to me that you did.”

“Me too. It was nice to see you…well, not quite outside of work because the café isn't work, but…”, Emma felt ridiculous, but Regina only smiled at her, “I get what you mean and I agree.”

And then they were both smiling, eyes locked, still hugging each other and something shifted between them, causing them to gravitate towards one another.  
Barely an inch was separating their lips now and Regina thought her heart might beat out of her chest any second.

“Regina.”  
It was barely a whisper, so delicate and fragile and Emma looked so hopeful and yet so frightened, it broke Regina’s heart.

She wanted to take all of Emma’s fears away because she couldn’t lie to herself any longer. She had come to care a lot about the blonde, a lot more than she cared to admit, although she barely knew Emma.  
But that didn’t change the fact that Emma made her feel things she hadn’t felt in a very long time.

Regina raised her shaking hand and trembling fingers cupped Emma’s cheek while she tried to work up the nerve to lean in.

Emma closed her eyes.  
Her own fell shut.  
She counted to three in her head.

And then the shrill sound of a cell phone made them jump apart.

“Shit!”, Emma was breathing heavily, her hand raking through her hair as she answered the call, “Hello?…Yes, I know. I’m on my way.”

She looked at Regina for a moment, hesitating, debating, before she shook her head, “I gotta go.”

Regina was too dazed to react, too overwhelmed by the situation and her own emotions to even blink. It was only when she heard the engine of Emma’s car come to life that she snapped out of it, but it was too late.  
She only caught sight of the tail lights of Emma’s car in the distance before they disappeared altogether and then Emma was gone.


	5. A date gone wrong

**T** he evening had left Regina more confused than ever and she considered staying away from the café and Emma the next Tuesday, but in the end she decided that wouldn’t be a solution either because the blonde was still Kathryn’s personal assistant so she couldn’t avoid her anyway.  
Especially since her best friend was so taken with Emma and surely wouldn’t let her go anytime soon.  
And Regina was well aware that Kathryn would know right away that something had happened if she stopped dropping by Kathryn’s office.

And then she remembered that her best friend had been so adamant about Regina staying away from Emma.  
Why was that?  
Maybe it was time to tackle this issue head-on.

That was why she was waiting in front of the café for Emma's arrival next Tuesday - with two to-go-cups of hot chocolate and chai latte respectively and a bag holding a bear claw.  
Usually they’d meet inside, but Regina felt like going for a walk for this. For this talk or whatever it was they needed to have to clear the air.  
In case Emma would show up.  
Would Emma show up?

She hadn’t considered that before now, but she wouldn’t have needed to worry because Emma arrived, like clockwork, and looked at Regina in confusion, “Aren’t you staying?”

Regina couldn’t hide the tension she felt, “I thought that we could probably…probably go for a walk?”

Emma only nodded, “Uh…sure.”  
She took the offered cup and the bag with the bear claw and fell into step next to Regina, “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”

Regina hummed in understanding, “I wasn’t sure you’d come either.”

They walked in silence for a while until they arrived at the nearby park and Emma spotted an empty bench under some trees and she gestured towards it, “Should we?”

“Yes, that’s probably a good idea.”

\-------------

The situation was awkward to say the least.  
Emma and Regina stole glances at each other here and there, but neither of them dared to talk for fear of what said conversation would bring.

After about ten minutes of heavy and uncomfortable silence Emma finally had enough though because her lunch break wouldn’t last forever and something had to give, “Regina, what are we doing?”

It was only a whisper, but Regina heard it all the same.  
She took a sip of her drink, contemplating her answer and coming to the conclusion that dancing around the elephant in the room would get them nowhere, “Maybe we should go on a date after all.”

The words were out of Regina’s mouth before she could have stopped herself and she saw Emma’s eyes go wide, words of protest already forming on the blonde’s lips.

“Before you say anything, Emma. I know you said you don’t date, but I also know that there is something between us. Don’t even try to deny it. Lying doesn’t suit you. There’s something and maybe it’s worth taking a closer look, maybe not. But how would you know without giving it a try? All I’m saying is…we could go on a date. One date. What do you have to lose? Or are you simply not interested in me because then we can stop this conversation right now before I make an even bigger fool out of myself”, Regina dared to look at Emma then because she needed to know and she had to see for herself.

“Are you?”, Emma looked at her more scared than she’d ever seen her, “Interested in me I mean.”

Regina took a deep breath, “The answer to that question is a bit more complex than yes or no I’m afraid.”

When Emma didn’t say anything Regina continued, “I’m interested in you as a person, Emma. You intrigue me. But you know that already. Do I find you attractive? Absolutely. But this is about more than that. It’s not like I know so much about you or that we’ve known each other for long and yet I feel incredibly grounded and safe when I’m around you and I’d like to really get to know you because I see potential. In you. In us. So yes, I’m interested in you as a whole, not just for a moment of pleasure or something. But that’s not the problem here…you said you don’t date. For whatever reason. So the real question is…do I interest you enough to break your own rule? Are you willing to see where this could go or would you rather stop this right now and never talk about it again? I’ll leave you to think about it because you don’t have to decide right now, but you have to make a decision eventually because you can’t have it both ways.”

Regina got up and ready to go when she felt Emma’s hand on her wrist. The touch was soft and gentle and it caused her to smile which seemed to help Emma to deal with the tension between them.

“Okay.”

She raised her eyebrow in question, “Okay what, Emma?”

“One date. But nothing fancy.”

Regina nodded, quite dumbfounded, “Nothing fancy.”

\-------------

They had finally exchanged phone numbers that day and had made plans for Friday the following week, which left Regina with enough time to plan a date.  
In theory at least.  
Ten days were not nearly enough when you were incredibly busy with work and had no clue what to do or what the person you wanted to take out might enjoy.  
Needless to say Regina was completely out of her element because “nothing fancy” wasn’t her strong suit. Her whole life was quite luxurious, had been for the bigger part of her life and she felt like a fish out of water.

She had contemplated calling Kathryn for help more times than she cared to remember, but she hadn’t dared to because she knew her best friend wouldn’t be fond of the idea as she seemed so unhappy with the mere fact that Regina and Emma had become friends.  
Why was still a mystery to her, but she would get to the bottom of it and what better way to do that than a date?

Regina was sitting in her living room with her laptop, searching for inspiration, Hades cuddled up right next to her, when the doorbell rang and she cursed under her breath.

It had to be Kathryn.  
Who else would dare to show up, on a Sunday no less, unannounced? At close to 8 pm.  
The answer was - no one.

She sighed and went to answer the door, not in the least surprised to see Kathryn’s smirking face, “What are you doing here?”

“It’s nice to see you too, Regina.”

Kathryn walked past her without waiting for an invitation to come inside and petted an excited Hades, who's rear end was wagging as a whole, “Hello baby.”  
He barked and jumped around, pure joy radiating off of him, much to Kathryn’s delight and Regina’s annoyance, “Stop driving my dog crazy, Kat!”

“But he’s so excited to see me! And he lovooooves me”, Kathryn sing-songed before she turned to look at Regina, “What are you up to this lovely evening, you hermit?”

“Doing research”, Regina grit out and she remembered that she had left her tabs open.

Kathryn cocked her head to the side and eyed her best friend curiously, “For?”

“None of your business.”

“Nuh uh, Regina. Is that a way to talk to your oldest friend?”

She closed her eyes, wishing that Kathryn would have mercy for once, but Regina was well aware that it was nothing, but wishful thinking, “Did you want something to drink?”

“Stop deflecting and tell me what’s going on”, Kathryn demanded, causing Regina to sigh, “We might as well sit down for that conversation.”

\-------------

Kathryn had looked outright miserable when Regina had told her about her date with Emma, but she had refrained from making any comment and Regina had thought it odd because Kathryn Midas wasn’t known for holding back.

Surprisingly enough her best friend had made a suggestion in regards to the date in the end.   
A little Italian bistro that was supposed to serve the best, homemade pasta in town.  
Regina had never been there, but she trusted Kathryn’s judgement because the woman had impeccable taste when it came to food.  
From what Kathryn had decribed it had to be an idyllic place and Regina thought Emma might like that. 

And that was how Regina found herself in front of _La bella vita_ ten days later, all nerves and a complete wreck in general, waiting for none other than Emma Swan.  
Maybe this was a bad idea.  
Maybe she shouldn’t have asked her out. Then again, Regina hadn’t considered that Emma would actually accept, not even for a second because the blonde had seemed so hellbent on not dating.

It had taken sneaky measures to get her to agree to let Regina buy her lunch as an apology for the incident at their first encounter so Emma saying ‘yes’ had come as a bit of a surprise.  
But that meant that Emma was interested in her as well, wasn’t it? Or why would she have accepted otherwise?

Before Regina could get even more nervous she caught sight of Emma, who was wearing black skinny jeans, a black button down and the red leather jacket she seemed to be quite attached to.

She smiled shyly as soon as she stood in front of Regina, who felt completely overdressed in her navy blue dress and killer heels all of a sudden, but it was too late to change that.

“So, this is really happening”, Emma mumbled, more to herself than to Regina, making it obvious that she was just as nervous and it brought a smile to Regina’s face.   
Yes, the date was really happening.

\-------------

It hadn’t been a problem to pick up their flirty banter because that had simply become their dynamic over the weeks.  
Conversation had flown easily, much to Emma’s and Regina’s relief.

Regina had confessed that she hadn’t dated anyone in a while, which had truly surprised her blonde dinner companion, but Emma hadn’t joked about it or anything.  
It hadn’t stayed unnoticed that Regina had a tendency to be a bit socially awkward at times, but Emma found that incredibly sweet if she was honest.

Emma had told her that she had lived in Tallahassee up until one and a half years ago, but that life had changed a lot ever since she had come back to Storybrooke and that she had missed the unpredictable Maine weather because the heat really hadn't been her thing.

Everything had gone well, way better than expected on both parts, after the first few minutes of nervous rambling, until Regina brought up her annoying sister and her even more annoying niece.

“Thankfully Zelena and I aren’t close. She left the family long before my parents passed away to live her own life. Can’t say that I miss her. We never really got along. And then she fell in love with this Robin guy, but I suppose they are happy, so that’s fine. They named the poor girl Robyn, can you imagine that? Who does that? She has to be five now or maybe six. I’m not sure. I haven’t seen them in forever. I remember last time we got together she was still a toddler. Always crying, constantly making a mess. What a nightmare. I had planned to stay the weekend, but left the same day I arrived in the end because God knows I wouldn’t have gotten any sleep in that house”, Regina finished her rant and took a sip of the wine she had ordered with dessert.

“Not a big fan of kids I take?”, Emma asked and fidgeted with her hands.

Regina barked out a laugh, “Not at all. I can barely tolerate them on a good day. I mean, don’t get me wrong. For the people who really want to have children and a family and all that jazz it’s probably the greatest joy, but I don’t see myself as a mother. I never have. And I don’t see that changing either.”

She was so busy fetching the waiter to ask for their bill that she didn’t see the defeat and the sadness in Emma’s eyes, but as soon as they left the restaurant Regina noticed that something was wrong.  
Something had changed and she had no idea what it could have been.  
Surely Emma wasn’t upset that Regina didn’t want to have children. They had been on one date, not planning their future together.

“I thought maybe we can go for an evening stroll?”, Regina suggested, but Emma shook her head, “Listen, Regina…I had a really nice evening, but I think we should end this right here because nothing can come of it.”

She felt like she had been slapped in the face, “What?”

“I don’t know what I thought”, Emma admitted, “I guess I was more lonely than I realized and the thought of having someone in my life has become too tempting there for a minute because you’re an amazing person, Regina. You’re just not the right person for me.”

Regina struggled for words while Emma fetched a cab, “Good night, Regina. Thanks for going to such great lengths for me. I do appreciate it, more than you’ll ever know.”

“Will I see you on Tuesday?”, Regina looked at Emma with confused eyes, still not sure what was happening.

“Probably not. I think it might be better not to continue this…whatever this is. Was.”

And then Emma got into the cab and Regina could do nothing, but watch the car drive away and disappear while Emma fought her emotions as best as she could.  
Until the first tear fell.


	6. Five

**R** egina dragged herself into her kitchen the next morning after a long and sleepless night.  
She felt completely gutted.

She had tried to call Emma three times last night, but the blonde hadn’t answered her phone and she felt as if she had lost something precious.

Hades appeared next to her and poked her foot with his nose in an attempt to cheer her up, but it didn’t work. Regina petted his head anyway, glad that she could always count on her loyal four-legged friend to comfort her when she was miserable.

Somehow Regina felt like she should apologize to Emma, she just wasn’t sure for what exactly, but she would figure that out later.  
She fed Hades, took a shower, took her dog for a walk to help clear her mind and then she called Kathryn, who only sighed when she heard what had happened the night before.

“Kathryn, what are you not telling me?”, Regina growled in frustration.

“It’s not my place to tell. You have to ask Emma”, Kathryn countered and Regina groaned because her frustration had turned into annoyance by now.

“Then tell me where to find her, Kat! I want to talk to her and I want to apologize if I said or did something inappropriate, but I don’t know where she lives. Or do I have to show up at your office on Monday and try to force it out of her right there…because we both know that won’t end well. For no one.”

Kathryn took a deep breath, “Why couldn’t you stay away from her like I told you? No, scratch that. I begged you, Regina. Why couldn’t you listen to me? Just this once.”

“Because I like Emma, okay? I really like her and I want to know what’s going on. Don’t you think I have a right to know? I get that she was probably hurting last night, but I don’t know why…but guess what, Kat. I’m hurting too because I’ve come to enjoy having her in my life and she just walked out on me without an explanation!”

There was a long pause after that, but Kathryn was well aware that Regina had a point and she could hear it in her best friend’s voice - Regina was truly upset.

“Fine. I’ll text you the address, but you better make sure that she doesn’t get mad at me. Or quits her job or some nonsense because I wasn’t kidding when I said she’s the best personal assistant I ever had, you hear me?!”

“Yes. Yes, of course. Thank you, Kathryn.”

\-------------

Once she had received the text Regina had jumped into her car and driven across town to end up in front of a blue house that clearly had seen better days, but it still looked welcoming enough.   
Not everyone could afford gardeners and yearly renovations, she knew that.

The house was the last one in the street and the house next to it seemed abandoned if the cracked windows and missing door were anything to go by. No, it surely wasn’t the fanciest area of Storybrooke, but not everyone could afford that either.

Regina had no illusions that Emma could afford anything close to her own home.  
She opened the gate and made the short walk to the front door, but found that there was no doorbell.  
Knocking it was.

She didn’t know where the sudden confidence and courage came from, but Regina wouldn’t question it because it would most likely make her chicken out and she really wanted answers.  
More than anything she wanted answers.

Regina knocked twice and waited with bated breath and relief washed over her as soon as the door got pulled open, but as soon as she saw the person at the other side of the door she froze and relief gave way to confusion.

In front of her stood a teenage boy, who eyed her warily, “Who are you?”

It took Regina a moment to find her words, “I’m...I'm Regina Mills. And I’m here to speak to Emma. Emma Swan.”

“You’re the lady she went out with last night, aren’t you?”, the boy didn’t move an inch. He didn’t even blink.

“I…yes. Is she here?”

The boy shook his head, “She’s out grocery shopping, but she should be back shortly. Do you want to wait for her?”

Regina wasn’t sure. Did she want to?  
But it slowly dawned on her why Emma had fled right after dinner last night. After her rather harsh speech about children.  
Emma had a son.  
God, how insensitive she had been. She had never even considered the possibility.

“Would that be alright with you?”, she looked at the boy and realized that he would almost be as tall as her if she wouldn’t be wearing heels.

He shrugged, “I guess that would be okay. Emma was really upset when she came home last night though. So you better not make her sad again. I’m Henry by the way.”

And then he finally stepped aside and allowed Regina to enter the house, “It’s nice to meet you, Henry.”  
She wanted to tell him that she had no intentions to hurt Emma, but thought better of it because she didn’t want to make promises she might not be able to keep.

Emma had a teenage son.  
Well, that changed everything.  
Then again he was already a teenager. Maybe she could learn to get along with him in case she could work things out with Emma.

The thought went right out of the window as soon as she stepped into the living room though because there were two more children sitting on the couch.   
A boy and a girl, definitely a couple of years younger than Henry.

“That’s Roland and Alexandra”, Henry explained quickly, unfazed by Regina’s obvious discomfort, “Do you want anything to drink?”

“No, but thank you.”  
She let her eyes roam around the room and caught sight of the photographs on the wall. There were pictures of Henry, Roland and Alexandra, but there were also pictures of other children. A picture of Emma and one of an older blonde woman and Emma together.

What did that mean?  
Who else was living here other than Emma and apparently three kids?

Regina should receive her answer only a couple of minutes later when the front door opened and two more children, even younger than the others, stormed into the house.

“Lily, Neal! What did we say about running in the house?”  
She heard Emma before she saw her, but as soon as the blonde appeared in the living room, arms full of grocery bags, she stopped dead in her tracks, “Regina.”

“Can we talk?”

Emma nodded, “We probably should.”

Henry came back into the living room, “Don’t worry about it, Emma. We’ll pack the groceries away while you talk to your friend.”

Emma smiled at him, her eyes filled with gratitude and pride, “Thanks, kid. I’ll just bring in the rest of the bags quickly.”

\-------------

They were sitting on the porch in front of the house, but neither of them said a word.  
Regina was still struggling to wrap her head around what she had just seen. How could Emma have not only one, but five children?!

“I’m not their mother, you know”, Emma started all of a sudden, causing Regina to feel even more confused, “What?”

Emma shrugged, “Well, I kind of am. They are my foster kids.”

“Oh.”

“I guess you understand now why I don’t date. Or why us dating would never work”, Emma ran her fingers through her locks and sighed, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but people always run for the hills as soon as they find out I have five kids or they think I’m a complete lunatic. I don’t know what I was thinking because it’s not like I could have hidden them from you forever. I just wanted…I don’t know what I wanted.”

Regina put her hand on Emma’s arm and squeezed it, “I think I get it. It has to be hard to raise five children on your own. May I ask how that came about?”  
She knew she should get up and leave because this was crazy and could go nowhere, but Regina found that she truly wanted to know Emma’s story.

“Remember how I told you that my parents were long gone?”, Emma asked, seemingly conflicted.

Regina nodded and Emma sighed, “Well, the truth is I never knew my parents. They dumped me at the side of the road when I was only a few hours old. It was pure luck that somebody found me.”

“Emma, I’m so sorry.”

“Orphanage. Foster homes. Too many to count. Some not so bad, some nothing short of hell. At the end of the day I got shoved around till I was about fifteen and then I ran because my last foster home was, well, the worst. Lived on the street for a while after that till I met Ingrid when I was almost seventeen. She took me in, helped me to sort out my life and get back on my feet. We were eight children living with her at the time, but it was the first real home I ever had. I spent the next years here, finished school, but then I got the job as a bounty hunter and moved to Tallahassee with my foster brother August. He still lives there. Has a wife and a kid now.”

Emma took a deep breath, “Ingrid called me about one and a half years ago. She asked me to come visit and I learned that she had cancer and there was nothing the doctors could do for her anymore. I stayed and took care of her and the kids. They were her foster kids at the time. She died about three months later and left me the house. Marian, the social worker Ingrid had worked with all her life, helped me to keep the kids. Not that they would have known what to do with them anyway. And here I am. Thirty years old and mother of five children.”

“I…I don’t know what to say”, Regina admitted because she was completely overwhelmed.

“That’s okay. But now you know why we can’t….”  
Emma’s smile looked more like a grimace and Regina’s heart broke a little more.

“My husband died when I was twenty-seven.”  
She didn’t know why she deemed it necessary that Emma knew that, but it was too late because the words were already out. Maybe it was the fact that Emma was so open and vulnerable all of a sudden and she didn't want her to feel exposed and alone, “We met during high school and my parents weren’t too fond of him, but he made me happy and so we got married once I finished college. He was a farmer’s son, needless to say that was the reason my parents deemed him unworthy because they thought I deserved better, but I loved Daniel. God, how much I loved him. He had a car accident during a blizzard and was only found the next morning. He was already dead.”

“That’s horrible. I’m very sorry, Regina”, it was Emma’s turn to squeeze the brunette’s arm.

They sat in silence for a while after that, both of them caught up in their thoughts until Regina turned her head to meet Emma’s gaze, “Do you think we could be friends after all?”  
Regina wasn't sure how that could ever work, but the thought of abandoning Emma like everyone else in life was unbearable and threatened to tear her heart apart all of a sudden.

Emma shrugged helplessly, “I don’t know, Regina. But if you really want to...I guess we could at least try.”


	7. A surprise visit

**H** enry popped up on the porch shortly after they finished their conversation and asked if Regina would stay for dinner.  
Emma didn’t dare to hope, but Regina nodded hesitantly, “If it’s not too much trouble and you don’t mind?”  
She looked at Emma expectantly and watched the smile spread on the blonde’s face, “We don’t, do we, kid?”

Henry shook his head and smiled without reservations, “Of course not. I’ll tell Alexandra to set the table for seven then.”

Seven.  
Not two.  
Not three.  
Seven.

Regina was still struggling to wrap her head around that, but she was at least willing to try because she wanted to save her friendship with Emma.

Five children.  
How could that ever work?  
She had been so annoyed when it was only one and she hardly ever saw Robyn. 

They followed Henry inside and Emma put an arm around his shoulder, “Just make yourself comfortable, Regina. If the kids bother you too much…I’m in the kitchen. Henry here will help me to make dinner. Isn’t that right, kid?”

He rolled his eyes at Emma’s antics, but nodded, “Sure will.”

\-------------

Regina had to admit that she was kind of impressed.

The older blonde girl, Alexandra if she remembered correctly, was setting the table together with the two youngest kids.  
And Henry and Roland were helping Emma in the kitchen which gave her a moment of peace and the opportunity to take a closer look at the house. It wasn’t fancy by any means, but it was comfortable and clean and a home.  
A real home.  
To Emma and five children, who were not her own and yet her family.

She did understand why Emma had taken on the responsibility and she admired her for it, but she wondered how a woman with so much baggage of her own was capable of carrying that “burden” by herself.  
Because God knows she would have cracked and broken had she so much as tried to pull off something like that and while her own childhood had been flawed, it had been way better than Emma’s, that much was certain.

Regina was so lost in thought as she sat on the couch that she didn’t even realize the little girl, who had taken a seat next to her after struggling for a minute to climb said couch.

“Who are you?”

She almost jumped out of her skin when she felt a small hand grab hers, but then she looked down at the little girl and Regina couldn’t help, but smile because her tiny companion looked a lot like her when she had been younger.  
They had almost the same skin and hair colour, the same brown eyes and Regina found it a bit absurd that Emma had a child that almost looked like a mini version of her.

“I’m Regina. And who are you?”

“Lily. And I’m five.”

Regina couldn’t help, but chuckle, “Five, huh?”

Lily nodded eagerly, “Neal too. We are both five. And Alexandra is…”  
She stared at her hands, brows crinkled in concentration as she tried to count her fingers, “Eight.”

“And how old is Roland?”, Regina wasn’t sure why she was trying to make conversation with the child, but then again, why not? Maybe she would upset the girl if she ignored her and that would lead to a tantrum and no. No, she really didn't want that. At least she could learn something about the children Emma loved so much.

“Nine”, Lily answered proudly, “And Henry is…”, she started counting again, “Ten. And three.”

“He’s thirteen?”

Lily nodded excitedly, “Yes. Thir…teen.”

\-------------

Dinner had been nice if Regina was honest.  
She had been surprised to find that Emma had made pasta with two different sauces to choose and even a salad and it had tasted delicious.  
Every child had told stories about their week and some of them had even made her laugh, so yes, all in all Regina had enjoyed herself.  
Who would have thought?

Lily hadn’t left her side all evening and had begged her to stay and tuck her in.  
She hadn’t known what to make of that, but she had walked the little girl, who shared a room with Alexandra, upstairs and had even read the two girls a bedtime story.

Really, who would have guessed?

Emma had mentioned on the way out that Lily had a hard time at kindergarten because some of the kids constantly teased her about her Mexican heritage and it made Regina furious.  
How dare they make that little girl feel bad about that?  
She remembered some of the nasty comments from her own childhood and her heart broke for Lily because she could relate so well.  
And that girl was an orphan on top of it, so she didn’t want to know how much worse it had to be for her.

\-------------

Regina had been too busy for their weekly lunch the next two weeks and she had known that Emma would grow anxious although she had texted her a couple of times to ensure that Emma wouldn’t doubt herself.  
If Regina was honest she hated that she hadn’t been able to reschedule meetings because she really had wanted to see Emma, but it hadn’t been possible.

Kathryn had eyed her warily when she had started to talk about Emma and those children out of the blue on more than one occasion.  
She wasn’t sure what had changed, but something had and it wasn’t that Regina was a fan of children all of a sudden or that she wanted to have one of her own, but Emma and those five were a family and she understood that she couldn’t be a part of the blonde’s life if she couldn’t accept that.  
She did though and it hadn’t even been hard because those children were well behaved and respectful. Only Neal was shy and withdrawn, but Emma had told her that he had only come to live with them a couple of months ago and that it had been an emergency. And that he wasn’t keen on strangers, that he had only really taken to Emma. That it had even taken him weeks to get used to the other children.

Never in her life would Regina have imagined having a friend with five children. Foster children no less.  
But Emma’s story hadn’t left her unaffected.  
It had touched something within her own heart and she had come to admire Emma even more than she had before she had heard all about her life.

There was a strength to Emma and a kindness - she had never seen anything like it.  
And Regina wondered how Emma hadn’t turned out bitter and cold after everything she must have been through.

\-------------

It was Friday afternoon and Regina was ready to go home, take Hades and just go somewhere for the weekend because she was so fed up with literally everything after not being able to have a moment to herself in two weeks when her new secretary rushed into the room with wide eyes and without knocking, “Excuse me, Miss Mills, but there’s a young man outside who insists on speaking to you.”

Regina raised her eyebrow, “And that’s why we don’t knock anymore, Jacinda? I think not. What’s his name?”

“I…I apologize, but I’m in a hurry. You said I could leave early today because my husband is coming home from his deployment and I’m…”

“Enough!”, Regina barked out, “I take it you haven’t asked for his name. I don’t know why I pay you, but by all means. Send him in and go home.”

The woman dashed from her office and Regina growled in frustration. A last-minute meeting was exactly what she needed.  
And then she saw the boy, who appeared in the doorway, a sheepish smile on his face.

“Henry, what are you doing here? Is Emma alright?”

He nodded, “Can I come in?”

“Of course. Please, take a seat”, Regina had to admit that she felt completely unnerved by his unannounced visit.

Henry sat down on the chair across from her desk, “Relax. It’s nothing bad. I just wanted to invite you to our barbecue tomorrow.”

“And why do you have to invite me? I’ve spoken to Emma on the phone just yesterday and she hasn’t mentioned it”, Regina eyed him suspiciously.  
To be fair the call had lasted all of two minutes between meetings and she had only called Emma to assure her that she was not ditching her and that they would have lunch together next Tuesday, come hell or high-water.

Henry started to rub his neck nervously, “Can I be honest with you?”

“Yes, of course. How did you even get here? You’re living on the other side of town.”

The teenager only shrugged, “Ruby drove me over, but that’s beside the point. And no, Emma doesn’t know I’m here, but…she wanted to invite you. She’s been debating with herself for the last two weeks whether to invite you or not and I couldn’t watch that misery any longer. She wanted to invite you, okay? But she knows you don’t like kids and well, we are five…and she doesn’t want to force us on you or anything I think. And you haven’t seen her in two weeks and she’s a little on edge about it.”

It took Regina a moment to process.  
She hadn’t expected that much honesty.

“Henry, I…it’s not that I don’t like you. Or your siblings. To be fair I don’t really know any of you. Things have gone terribly wrong because I told Emma over dinner that I’m not fond of children and I don’t plan to have children of my own, but that doesn’t mean I hate you. I know and understand that you are a big part of Emma’s life. And that’s okay. She’s my friend and you are her family. That’s fine.”

A knowing smirk was all the answer she got and Regina wasn’t sure what Henry thought he knew, but then he added, “Just a friend, huh?”

God damnit! How on earth could a thirteen-year-old teenager, who was basically a stranger, read her like that?

“I’m afraid that’s all we can ever be”, Regina admitted, “I’m not cut out to be a mother. Or to have a family."  
She only had one sister and that was a disaster. Always had been.

Henry got up, “You could learn, you know. We’d help you. So are you coming tomorrow?”

She could learn? They’d help her?  
What was that supposed to mean?

“I suppose so.”  
She’d worry about anything else later.

“Cool. Be there at three. I better get going because Ruby is waiting”, he walked over to the door, but turned around, “Oh, before I forget it. Lily says hi. She’s been asking about you a lot.”

And then he left while Regina stared at Henry's retreating form with the hint of a smile on her face.


	8. A hint of green

**R** egina found herself in front of Emma’s door once again the next day as she had promised Henry.  
Thank God she had went on a long walk with Hades before she had made the drive over because it had helped her to calm down a great deal, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t a nervous wreck still.

She heard children screaming from the back and she wasn’t sure that someone would even hear her knocking, but she wouldn’t find out if she wouldn’t try, right?

So she did knock and to her surprise the door got opened almost instantly and she came face to face with a rather surprised Emma, “Regina! What…what are you doing here?”

“I invited her. Hey Regina”, Henry showed up next to Emma and nodded at her in appreciation while Emma looked at him in confusion, “You what? How?”

Henry shrugged nonchalantly, “Ruby drove me to her office. I just asked because you were too much of a chicken to do it yourself.”

“Henry”, Emma groaned, “Regina, I’m sorry. I didn’t know the kid would bother you.”

“He hasn’t bothered me. It was quite a nice surprise to see him actually. But I can go if you don’t want…”

At that Emma shook her head vehemently, “No, no! That’s not what I meant. Please, come on in. I’m really happy to see you.

\-------------

“Gina!”  
Lily’s shrieking startled her for a second, but before Regina even knew what was happening the girl flung herself at her and she barely managed to catch her in her arms.

“Someone’s excited to see you”, Henry commented, the smirk never leaving his face and Regina couldn’t stop herself from rolling her eyes. That boy was quite something.

“Hello Lily”, she decided to greet the girl instead, “How are you?”

Lily wrapped her arms around Regina’s neck tightly, “Missed you.”  
And although Regina didn’t know why or how she felt how her heart warmed at the words.

“Come on…out in the garden with you so we can introduce Regina to everyone”, Emma announced and shooed Henry to the back door.

Regina put Lily down, who grabbed her hand instantly and lead her outside, all the while mumbling excitedly that she would show off her new friend Gina to their guests.

\-------------

The first thing Regina realized once she stepped outside was that she was overdressed. And that might be an understatement.  
Black high heels, black pencil skirt and a white button-down shirt were definitely not what you should wear to a barbecue with children apparently.

Emma was wearing jeans shorts and a white tank top, the children were either in bathing suits or swim shorts except for Henry, who was also wearing a T-shirt.  
She hadn’t noticed in the beginning because she had been distracted by actually seeing Emma again after two weeks, but now that she looked around she felt horribly out of place.

Everyone was apparently barefoot and the few unfamiliar people were basically wearing beach clothes - either summer dresses or loose shorts and shirts.

“Hey”, Emma appeared next to her, apparently well aware what she was thinking, “I’m glad that you are here and your outfit is perfectly fine. It’s who you are. Unless you don’t want to get your clothes dirty then I can borrow you some of mine. A piece of advice though. I’d take the heels off because you don’t want to break your ankle stumbling over the kids. Believe me, it happens more often than you’d think. The stumbling I mean, not the…whatever.”

All Regina could do was nod and then Emma cleared her throat, “Listen up, everyone…this is my friend Regina. Regina, this Mary Margaret and her husband David”, she pointed to a pixie-haired woman with an annoyingly sweet smile and a tall, handsome blonde guy, who waved awkwardly. 

“Elsa, Anna and Kristoff”, Emma continued her introduction of the trio currently battling to set up the pool for the kids.

“And what about me?” came from somewhere behind, causing Regina and Emma to turn around at once.

Emma smiled and Regina openly glared.  
In the doorway stood a tall young woman with seemingly endless legs, long brown hair with red streaks and a killer smile. The fact that she was wearing the shortest white shorts Regina had ever seen and a red bikini top didn’t help either.

“How could I ever forget about you”, Emma laughed out loud, “Regina, this is Ruby…Ruby, this is my friend Regina.”

The killer smile turned into a wolfish grin, “Pleasure to meet you, Regina. Nice to finally put a face to the name after hearing so much about you.”

Regina’s glare turned into a look of utter confusion because Emma had never mentioned the leggy brunette before. She had only heard the name once from Henry.  
“It’s nice to meet you too”, she managed to force out at last because Regina was not only dumbfounded, but also completely overwhelmed because, well, she wasn’t even sure about that herself.  
She just was.

“Gina, come play”, Lily pulled her hand to get her attention and Regina nodded robotically, allowing the little girl to drag her along.

Ruby looked after the older woman for a moment, all the while chuckling in amusement, “Hot damn, Swan. She’s quite the catch.”

Emma sighed sadly, “Yeah. For someone who doesn’t have and doesn’t want kids.”

“Well, I don’t know about that because it looks like she is doing alright to me”, Ruby stated and Emma turned around to see what Ruby was referring to.

Regina had taken off her heels and was sitting in the grass with Lily by her side while Roland and Alexandra babbled a mile a minute, explaining to Regina the logistics of building a castle in the sand.  
It was an adorable sight and Emma couldn’t help herself, but smile, “It’s temporary. She’s enduring it because we are friends, but believe me, Rubes, she made it more than clear that she doesn’t want to have a family.”

“Well, that’s her loss then”, Ruby countered and regretted it right away, well aware that it had been the wrong thing to say entirely.

“As it was yours?”, Emma snapped back and stormed inside because she needed a minute to herself.

Henry was about to carry the burgers outside and almost bumped into his seemingly upset foster mother, “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, no. It’s stupid. Just something Ruby said that had me a little…whatever. Is Neal still sleeping?”

He wasn’t happy that Emma was deflecting, but the boy had known her long enough to know there was no point in pressuring her when she wasn’t ready to talk, “Yeah.”

“Well, he had a rough night, so I’m not all that surprised. I’ll check on him and then I’ll come back outside, okay?”

“Kay.”

\-------------

David was tending to the grill with Henry’s help, Mary Margaret was chatting with Anna, Elsa and Kristoff and Regina watched the children build the castle they had talked about in the sand pit. Lily was smiling at her every time she looked over at Regina and her smile grew even wider when she found Regina smiling right back.

Ruby was inspecting the pool they had set up for the kids when Emma reappeared, carrying a sleepy Neal on her hip, water hose in hand.

“Oh boy”, Henry tipped David on the shoulder and nodded in Ruby’s direction, causing the man to laugh out loud which didn’t stay unnoticed by Ruby, who turned around and found herself staring at the blonde, who had a bit of a wicked glint in her eyes, “Emma Swan, don’t you daaa…”

And then she shrieked as the cold water hit her overheated body right in the chest because it was an incredibly hot summer day, especially for Maine.

“Oooops”, Emma could barely keep a straight face while she tried to fake innocence while Neal tried to wriggle out of her hold, so she let him down quickly and the little boy dashed off towards his foster siblings.

“You. Know”, Ruby was fighting to breathe properly, “If. You. Wanted. To. Get. Me. Wet. You could have just said so, Swan.”

Regina almost choked on thin air and Emma moved the spray up to Ruby’s face, “You wish, Lucas. You wish.”

\-------------

Mary Margaret, always the curious one, decided to “interrogate” Regina during dinner although Emma shot her more than one warning glare, but the pixie-haired woman couldn’t be stopped, “So, you told us about the company and how busy you are, but what I really want to know about you, Regina, is where you live?”

“At my family’s estate over on Mifflin”, she replied courtly while she prayed that somebody would save her from this conversation, but Emma’s friends seemed to be hellbent on figuring out who exactly she was.

David’s eyes went wide, “The Mills estate? Holy shit! That place is huge!”

“Language”, Mary Margaret slapped his arm, “We have children here.”

“Sorry.”

Regina found it amusing that a tall man like David would be intimidated by someone as perky as his petite wife, but oh well.  
“Yes, that’s the one.”

“And who else lives there?”, Mary Margaret pressed on.

It caused Regina to close her eyes for a second to ground herself and stop herself from snapping, “Just me and Hades.”

The eyes of all the grown-ups at the table went wide at the answer, but it was Mary Margaret, who stammered, “Ha-ades?”

Regina chuckled in amusement, “My dog. Hades is my dog.”

“You have a dog?”, Emma asked in surprise, “How do I not know that? Why didn’t you tell me? I love dogs.”

“Me too”, Alexandra and Roland answered in unison and Henry added, “Yeah, we’ve been trying to get Emma to get us a dog for months. Maybe we can play with yours some time?”

She was a bit at a loss there for a moment because bringing Emma and her kids and Hades together felt like too much, but then again her dog loved children, “I don’t see why not.”  
Which wasn’t entirely true, but she couldn’t bring herself to say ‘no’.

“Yay!”

“Awesome.”

And when she saw the joy and the excitement in the children’s eyes Regina wasn’t sure that she even wanted to deny them their wish. What she didn't understand was why she cared.

\-------------

Her clothes hadn’t been so dirty in forever or more like never if Regina was honest, but Emma had offered to pay the bill for the dry cleaning with a wink and had handed her a purple v-neck shirt to change into.

Now that everyone else had left and the children were sleeping the two of them were sitting on the couch in the living room and Regina couldn’t stop herself from asking the one question that had burned on her tongue since she had first seen the woman, “So, you and Ruby are?”

“Friends. We are friends”, Emma replied with a weak smile, “But we were a thing once. It wasn’t serious per se…I mean we were together for a while and it was great while it lasted, but we always knew it would most likely not be forever. And then Ingrid called and I came back and she wasn’t ready to be, well, in a committed relationship. She was ready to be a mother either. To five children no less.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. That’s just how it is. Told you. People run for the hills as soon as they hear that I have five kids, but that’s okay. I wouldn’t want to miss them for the world. As for Ruby. We wouldn’t have lasted anyway and I appreciated her honesty. It would have been way worse if she had forced herself to try, knowing full well that she wasn’t ready for something like that. In the end the kids would have suffered the most. And these days she’s aunt Ruby and that’s fine. We managed to save our friendship and that’s what matters the most”, Emma’s smile got brighter, “And then she met Dorothy and they are this ridiculously perfect couple and I’m happy for them, you know. Really, really happy. Dorothy is at her family's farm in Kansas at the moment, helping out, and Ruby misses her like crazy. Not that she would ever admit that, but she’s going a little nuts right now and Dorothy only left three days ago.”

And there it was again.  
That kindness Regina was so drawn to.

“Funny when you think about it. Ruby grew up in Storybrooke and we met in Tallahassee and now we are both living back here. Ruby because she running the dinner together with her grandmother because Eugenia preparing for her to take over eventually and me, well, I’m here with a bunch of kids. And you. Life is weird like that.”

“Indeed it is”, Regina agreed, “And to think that you ended up being my best friend’s personal’s assistant after you worked as a bounty hunter. Otherwise, we probably would have never met.”

Emma nodded, “True. I owe her big time, you know? Because I couldn’t keep working as a bounty hunter if I wanted to keep the kids and I never thought someone like her would hire me, but I had nothing to lose. And then she did. She hired me, offered me a job I had basically no qualification for.”

Regina chuckled, “Only Kat would do something radical like that, but then again. Her taking risks has almost always paid off and I keep hearing you are the best assistant she ever had. While I can’t judge that I know you are a great friend and quite an inspiring person, Miss Swan. So I dare say she did the right thing.”

“Why thank you, Miss Mills. That sounded almost like a compliment.”

“That’s because it was one”, Regina couldn’t help, but smile, “Don’t let it get to your head, dear. It won’t become a regular occurrence, I assure you.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it”, Emma teased right back, “I like to see you smile, you know. When we first met you hardly ever smiled and it suits you so well. It makes your eyes sparkle and…I should totally shut up.”

Regina knew it was better to stop this conversation because they were in dangerous territory, but God did she hate it, “I should leave anyway. It’s gotten late and I have a meeting first thing in the morning. I’ll get your shirt back to you on Tuesday. Thanks again.”

“No need. Keep it. I don’t know why I bought that thing anyway. Purple really isn’t my colour”, Emma countered and walked Regina to the door, “Lunch on Tuesday?”

“Lunch on Tuesday.”


	9. Noise

**R** egina was already on her way home when she finally realized that she hadn’t brought anything to the barbecue, not even a bottle of cider.  
God, she really was a weird person.  
The others surely must have thought her rude considering that she was the wealthy one of the bunch and everyone else had contributed in some way, except for her.

_Great first impression, Regina. Just great._

\-------------

Lunch with Emma on Tuesday had happened and had been a blast and the week had flown by as well.  
Friday night Regina was supposed to meet Kathryn at this new sushi place before her best friend would leave for Paris for a week.  
From what she understood it was more than just a business trip as well.  
Regina couldn’t remember when she had taken her last vacation, but she knew it was long overdue.  
One of these days.

She made a mental note to call Emma the next day because maybe it was a good idea to bring the children and Hades together after all. Why she wasn’t bothered by those five she would never understand because she usually wouldn’t give any child the time of day, but there was something about them, something about that patchwork family of theirs, that had Regina feel at ease.  
How that was even possible would forever stay a mystery to her because she tended to get overwhelmed so easily, especially when she had to deal with more than two or three people at the same time.  
The next thing Regina knew was that she heard a car horn, loud and incredibly close, and she turned her head in the direction where she suspected the sound to come from only moments before the oncoming car crashed right into her own.  
And then everything went black.

\-------------

She woke to the beeping sound of a heart monitor, the headache from hell and a fuzzy memory.

“Shhh, Regina. Please, don’t move. You are in hospital because you had an accident.”

The voice was soft and filled with worry and against all her expectations it wasn’t Kathryn’s, “Emma?”

“I’m right here.”

Regina felt the soft squeeze of her hand and she turned her head to face the blonde while she blinked repeatedly, “What happened? How are you here?”

“Apparently some drunken jerk ran over a red light and crashed right into your car. They called Kathryn with her being your emergency contact and all. She was here up until half an hour ago because she had to go and catch her flight. She wanted to stay, but she has this one meeting she can’t reschedule. She promised to come right back afterwards though”, Emma explained, “How are you feeling? Are you in pain?”

“Headache”, Regina rasped out.

“Yeah, I bet. The nurse should be here in a few. Maybe she can give you something for the pain”, Emma answered with a sympathetic smile.

“What about the children?”

“Ruby is with them, don’t worry.”

\-------------

Emma had stayed with Regina all night because Kathryn had arranged for it with Doctor Whale before her departure because she knew how much her best friend despised hospitals and she hadn’t wanted for Regina to be alone.

Doctor Whale had informed her that she had been really lucky in the morning. She had suffered a concussion and some cracked ribs, together with a few cuts and bruises, but no major injury thankfully. Her left leg was broken and in a cast, but that would heal in time as well.  
It could have ended way worse.

That had led Regina to call Kathryn, telling her that she wouldn’t need to cut her trip short because she was fine.  
She regretted it only a few minutes later.

Regina wanted to be released and Doctor Whale insisted that somebody had to watch her for at least a day or two because she had suffered a concussion after all and he refused to sign her papers if there was no one to take care of her, but with Kathryn in Paris her options were limited.

She could call Ursula or Mal, but she’d rather not because they were acquaintances at best, but definitely not friends. And she really could do without all the gossip.

“You could stay with us if you wanted to”, Emma suggested and blushed, “I mean it’s no fancy manor and a lot more crowded than your home. And there’s a lot more noise given that there are kids, but I could take care of you. We could.”

“What about the children? Are you sure they won’t mind?”, Regina asked with a racing mind. Could she bear staying in a house full of children without going crazy? She liked her solitude and her silence and she wasn’t sure that this was a good idea.

“They wouldn’t. The question is…wouldn’t you?”

Doctor Whale looked at Regina expectantly, “What’s it going to be, Miss Mills? Hospital or going home with your friend?”

\-------------

While they had waited for Regina’s release papers Emma had informed her that Kathryn had instructed a guy named Graham to take care of Hades in her absence, but she had caught sight of the sorrow in Regina’s eyes right away and so she had suggested bringing the dog to her house instead.

Regina hadn’t hesitated and had called Graham, who she explained was her gardener, right away and had told him to bring Hades and hid travel bag over to Emma’s house in the afternoon.

The kids had been thrilled by the news that Regina would stay with them for a couple of days and that her dog would come to live with them as well.  
Henry had informed her that she would be staying in his room because it was the only bedroom downstairs and nobody wanted Regina to risk climbing the stairs with crutches and her leg in a cast, especially since every movement hurt thanks to her cracked ribs.

She felt horribly guilty for taking over the boy’s room, but Emma had told her not to worry because Henry would get her room for the time being and she would take the couch, but that had Regina feel even worse.  
And so she texted Kathryn to give Emma some days off at least, which her best friend agreed to instantly.

Everyone was sitting on the couch in the living room when there was a knock at the door and Emma caught sight of the sudden joy in Regina’s eyes because everyone was well aware that it had to be Graham with the dog.

“I’ll get the door”, Emma announced, “And everyone else stays calm and quiet to give Hades a moment to get used to his surroundings, understood?”

The kids nodded in unison as they watched her get up and leave the room.

It only dawned on Emma that she had never asked what kind of dog Hades was, not that it mattered, but if she was honest she expected one of these barking little things and a big name that fit its spoiled personality. Not because it would suit Regina, but because a lot of the rich and famous had those pocket-sized dogs to carry them around in their handbags.

That was why she was quite surprised to see, standing next to a tall and handsome lookking man, a full grown Doberman staring at her as soon as she opened the door.  
Well, she would be damned!

The dog’s ears were perked up in a straight line and his gaze was sharp and focused while he studied her, obviously waiting for something to happen.

“Excuse me. You must be Graham. Please, come on in”, she said at last and allowed the duo to enter the house.

The kids gasped in surprise as soon as the large dog came into sight, his movements graceful and controlled strength, but as soon as he caught sight of Regina there was no holding him back anymore.  
Graham, simply because he knew better, unleashed the dog and watched him rush to Regina’s side to shower her with kisses. 

“Hello darling, I’ve missed you too.”  
Regina’s laugh was heartfelt and full of warmth while she tried to calm down her overexcited dog, but to no avail.

“He isn’t always this crazy”, Graham whispered while Emma watched the scene in fascination, “But he is Regina’s dog through and through and her not coming home last night had him quite on edge.”

“It’s alright. He does like kids, right?”

Graham nodded, “You have nothing to worry there. He loves them.”

\-------------

The gardener left shortly after that and Emma made her way into the kitchen while the kids bonded with the dog under Regina’s supervision.  
Hades enjoyed all the attention enormously and yet he stole himself away after a while to check out Emma, who was busy in the kitchen.

She felt his eyes on her as soon as he appeared, but Emma thought it best to allow him his pace and it didn't even take a minute until stood next to her, sniffing at her leg and bumping his nose against her hand to get her attention.

Emma petted him on the head with a smile on her face and the Doberman seemed satisfied with what he had seen and returned to the living room.

\-------------

Lily talked Regina into reading them a bedtime story and since she couldn’t go upstairs all the kids cuddled up on the couch while she read _Charlie and the chocolate factory_ before it was time for all of them to go to sleep.

Emma tucked the kids in and returned to help Regina get ready for bed and get to Henry’s room, all the while being watched by a curious Hades.  
When she finally dropped on the couch Emma realized how exhausted she actually was after everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours and as soon as her head hit the pillow she drifted off to sleep.

\-------------

When Emma woke up the next morning she decided to check in on Regina and probably let the dog out before she would start on breakfast, but she stopped dead in her tracks at the sight that greeted her.

Regina was peacefully sleeping in Henry’s bed with Hades snuggled into her right side and Lily into her left, Regina’s arm wrapped around the little girl protectively.  
How or when Lily had come downstairs she didn’t know, but the sight warmed her heart in ways she couldn’t describe.

“They fit right in, don’t they?”, Henry whispered as he appeared next to her.

“It’s only temporary”, Emma replied in a whisper of her own, a sudden sadness spreading in her chest while she turned around to head to the kitchen.

And Henry. Henry unlocked his phone and took a picture of the sleeping trio because he was quite certain that it would turn out to be useful one of these days.

\-------------

Regina woke up to Hades’ wet nose in her face and a smile appeared on it.  
Her dog had been a bit out of it last night because he usually knew better than to sleep in the bed, but seeing her injured had upset him quite a bit and she hadn’t brought herself to send him away.

It was the weight on the other arm that irritated her and her eyes flew open in a flash of panic until she caught sight of a sleeping Lily, who was snuggled into her side.  
An unknown calm washed over her within seconds and to her own surprise Regina didn’t even question why the girl was with her.  
It confused her that she was so comfortable with the situation, but she didn’t dare question it. It made no sense.

“Regina, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how she got in here. I was about to”, Emma rambled from the doorway, causing Hades to jump up and greet her.

“It’s alright, dear. I don’t…I don’t mind.”  
The words felt weird in her mouth, but they were the truth none-the-less.

Emma’s eyes grew wide, “Y-you…you don’t?”

Regina shook her head lightly, “I don’t. She didn’t bother me. I only now realized that she was even here.”

\-------------

After breakfast everyone got dressed, Regina with Emma’s help, which had been less awkward than they both had expected, and then Henry had helped Regina into the garden where the kids were playing with Hades.

Emma sat next to Regina, watching for any sight of discomfort.

“I’m alright, dear. No need to worry.”

“Did you take your painkillers?”

“Of course. During breakfast. You were there”, Regina replied calmly, “Emma, are you okay?”

The blonde nodded, “I’m not the one who was in a car crash only two days ago.”

Regina put her right hand over Emma’s left and squeezed it gently, “Don’t lie to me, Emma. What’s wrong?”

Sparkling green eyes met hers and Regina was startled by the intensity of Emma’s gaze, causing her to grow anxious.  
Maybe Emma hadn’t been too fond of Lily sleeping in "her" room? Maybe she thought it was inappropriate, especially since she had given this big speech of how she didn’t like children.

“I was so worried. When…when Kathryn called and told me that you had been in an accident and she didn’t know anything about your condition I expected the worst. We both did. And I…I was scared, okay? Because I don’t want to lose you, Regina. I care about you and you are my friend and”, Emma wiped a few stray tears from her face, the gesture almost frantic.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think about it that way. Usually I’m the one standing next to the hospital bed or in the…in the morgue”, Regina dropped her head, “I’m sorry if I worried you. And I’m sorry for barging in on you and your family. I hate being an inconvenience.”

“But that’s the thing, Regina! You aren’t. Don’t you see? Nobody minds you being here”, the vehemency Emma said it with left no room for doubt nor discussion, but then she grew silent, her voice only a whisper, “But I think you might.”

Regina thought about it for a moment because yes, she should mind, but she found she didn’t.  
It was strange how comfortable she felt, had felt, the second she had set foot in this house. After the initial shock of course.

“Emma, if I wouldn’t want to be here I wouldn’t be. I could have hired a private nurse or something. But I want to get to know you”, Regina knew what she was going to say next was something she never thought she’d ever say to anyone, “I want to get to know all of you. These children are your life and I accept that. If someone wants to be a part of your life, even if it’s just as a friend, one has to make an effort with your children as well. I’m trying. I’m not sure I’m any good at it, but I can see why they mean so much to you. They are precious and considering that I’m usually not fond of children I guess that’s saying something.”

Henry, while sitting in the grass with his siblings as they “bathed” Hades in the little pool, had spent the last couple of minutes watching Emma and Regina and his smile kept growing wider and wider.  
Maybe Emma and Regina didn’t realize yet what was going on between them, but he could see it clear as day.

\-------------

In the end Regina had stayed the whole next week and a routine had developed rather quickly thanks to Kathryn graciously allowing Emma to stay at home.  
The few things that had been urgent in regards to work Emma had managed from home, but she had spent most of her time with Regina.  
And of course the kids.

Henry, in particular, had been a great help around the house and he had even assisted Regina a great deal when her ribs had hurt too much and she hadn’t been able to walk on her own. She had offered input in regards to his school project about the galaxies and in the end they had worked on it together.  
Lily had hardly ever left Regina’s side when she was home from kindergarten and Emma had given up trying to convince the little girl to sleep in her own bed on day three because she had ended up sneaking downstairs anyway.  
Roland and Alexandra had found great joy in decorating Regina’s boring cast and they had asked a thousand questions about Hades, which Regina had answered with a patience she hadn’t known she possessed.  
Neal had been as reserved as he was with everyone else, but Regina had caught him sleeping cradled against Emma’s chest on the couch one day, both had been asleep actually, and it had touched the darkest corners of her heart.  
The little boy was a haunted child, that she had recognized that the first day she had seen him, and eventually, Emma had told her that his mother had been beaten to death by her boyfriend while he had been present in the room and that Neal was struggling with nightmares a lot.

All in all, despite the noise of five children in the house, it had been a great week with lots of laughter and if Regina was honest with herself she had enjoyed it.  
So had Hades, who had become quite attached to patchwork family that was the Swan clan, as well.

And now that Regina was back home she didn’t really know what to do with herself because it was the first time in her life that she wished for children’s laughter instead of her once so beloved silence.


	10. Doubt

**I** f there was one thing Regina hated than it was showing weakness.  
Hence why she decided to work from her home office while she healed and recovered from her accident although it made things more complicated, but the mere thought of her employees, who usually respected her, watching her while she struggled not to slip, not to fall, or anything of the like, gave her nightmares.  
And then again they feared her more than they respected her and she had earned that reputation over years. She wouldn’t ruin it now over something as ridiculous as a broken leg.

She had gone soft lately, thanks to Emma and these children, but the people who worked for her didn’t need to know that.  
Hell, she wished she hadn’t realized it herself, but she could no longer deny it because she simply missed them.  
All of them.  
She had tried to ignore it, to deny it, but with little success.   
Given the fact that she lived in a manor with no one, but her dog, to keep her company it wasn’t all that surprising that reality had hit her hard.

It had taken her three days before she had caved. Three days before she had called Emma to invite her and the children over to the Mills estate.

Since Emma had a busy week they had agreed on a visit on Saturday and Regina killed the time by trying to figure out what she could cook without help.  
It wasn’t that she didn’t like cooking or that she was bad at it, but with the cast and all it wasn’t that easy and she was afraid that she was out of practice because she hardly ever had guests to prepare a meal for. And what did one cook for children to begin with?  
She had no experience in that regards and it stressed her immensely because it was crucial that Emma's foster children would like her, Regina was well aware of that. The pressure that came with it all a burden she barely managed to carry.

Thursday afternoon she remembered that the children probably would get bored easily so she called Graham and sent him to buy toys. He had looked at her in bewilderment, but had done the task without question.

Kathryn had food sent to her every day of the week, from her favourite Italian place no less, and had stopped by in person twice as work had a chokehold on her ever since she returned from Paris, but she had called at least five times a day to make sure that Regina was alright.  
Emma had texted and called as well and Regina had spent every night talking to her on the phone. A time or two she had even spoken to Lily and the girl's excitement had never failed to put a smile on her face.

Regina didn't understand what was happening because she had meant it when she had told Emma that she had no interest in children, but the tables had somewhat turned the moment she had set foot in Emma's house for the first time.  
She didn't know how that was even possible, but those five were special. They were her exception.

Now that it was Friday evening Regina found that she could finally breathe because she would see Emma in the morning. And the children.

The sound of the doorbell told her that her dinner was about to be delivered and Regina was looking forward to the pasta she had asked Kathryn to order for her. It took her a bit to make her way to the front door and she was startled that it wasn’t John, Kathryn’s driver, who held the delivery bag, but her best friend herself.

“Kat! I didn’t expect you here tonight.”

The blonde laughed, “That’s the whole point of a surprise, isn’t it?”

“Since you have food and I’m starving”, Regina hobbled to the side to grant her best friend entrance.

“How generous of you, Miss Mills”, Kathryn chuckled and walked inside, only to almost get knocked over by Hades as he came sprinting from the living room.

\-------------

Kathryn took a sip of cider before she met her best friend’s eyes, “Regina, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong, dear. Why do you ask?”

Kathryn sighed.  
She had known right away that Regina wouldn’t make this easy for her. Getting that woman to talk was like pulling teeth, but at least twice as painful.  
She took a moment, well aware that she had to tread lightly, to choose her words wisely, “Because I haven’t seen you look so somber in quite a while. You are here and at the same time, you are not because your thoughts are miles away. And I’m worried about you.”

Regina was silent for a long time while she sipped from her own cider and stared out of the window until she couldn’t stay quiet any longer.

“I think”, she started, but shook her head. That sounded all wrong. “I am falling in love. With Emma.”

She had tried to fight it with all her might, but she couldn’t deny it any longer.  
Emma and her kindness had been her undoing.

“Regina, are you sure?”  
Kathryn had feared it from the day they had met, but she had hoped and prayed that she would be wrong because a world of five children was separating them and she knew Regina when it came to that particular topic.  
But when she saw the pain in Regina’s eyes there was no doubt left that her best friend was speaking the truth.

“And now?”, Kathryn asked carefully.

“I don’t know. I just miss her. Living in that house for a week…it has done something to me”, Regina admitted in defeat.

“So, what are you saying? That you want to be with Emma? And you’re okay with sharing your life with five kids? Because they are a package deal, you know that, right?”

Regina rolled her eyes, “I’m not stupid, Kat. Of course I know that! And yes, no, I don’t know. I like them. The children I mean. I do. I’m just not sure if I can see myself with a family permanently. And that’s not fair. Neither to Emma nor to the children because I know they are not an experiment. They are not a test run.”

“Yeah, that’s true”, Kathryn agreed, “And I get that it’s confusing because you never wanted anything like that.”

“I just don’t know what to do”, Regina sounded so desperate and she hated it, “I mean I know that there’s no guarantee that relationships last, but I could never…I mean say Emma would feel the same way. Which I don’t even know. But even if it would be mutual and we start dating and then I get annoyed by the children or something. It would be godawful. Because there’s a difference between a break-up and this. Because this is about my issues with children. I mean say it would work out and I couldn’t get used to her kind of life…that would be even worse.”

Kathryn studied Regina for a while before she spoke again, “What does your heart tell you?”

“Honestly? That there is no one like Emma. I mean I don’t know all that much about her past, but it can’t have been pretty considering she’s spent her whole life in the foster system. And yet she’s this incredibly kind woman. And look what she has done for these children. It’s amazing, really. I don’t know how she does it to be honest. She also works full-time and the children are so well behaved. They work together and help one another. I’ve never seen anything like it. It’s hard to believe actually.”

There was a short pause before Regina continued, “Henry is so smart and Roland and Alexandra are really sweet. You should have seen them play with Hades. Neal is having a hard time and he is clinging to Emma like a koala most of the time, but he smiled at me during movie night once and it felt like I really achieved something there, you know? And Lily. I don’t even know where to start, but if I ever would have wanted a daughter I would have imagined her to be just like her.”

While Kathryn was surprised that Regina seemed to be so taken with these children she was also well aware what it meant. Apparently Regina was the only one who hadn’t caught on to it yet and Kathryn knew better than to push her best friend.  
That was something Regina had to work out for herself because it was a life-changing decision.

“You really care for them, don’t you?”  
The question was innocent enough and Regina nodded vigorously, “I do. But is that enough? I mean I miss them. And Emma. God, I wish I could just be with her, with them, but I’m afraid that it will overwhelm me eventually. All of it. How do you even live like that? With five children I mean. On a daily basis.”

Kathryn couldn’t help, but laugh because how could Regina even ask that, “The way the seven of you lived during the week you’ve been there I guess. Was it that bad?”

Memories of their last movie night popped up in Regina’s mind, causing her to smile instantly, “No. No, it wasn’t.”

“And what does your head say to all of that?”

Regina sighed once again, “That even considering it is madness.”

A bark of laughter, Kathryn’s laughter, echoed through the living room, “Thought so.”

They sat in silence for a while, both caught up in their own thoughts, before Regina decided to ask the question that had been burning under her fingernails for a while now, “Why did you hire her?”

Kathryn chuckled, “Because she needed a job and she was desperate. She was upfront with me about why she needed that job. Working as a bounty hunter was out of the question because she had just gotten shot and she was afraid they wouldn’t let her keep the kids if she wouldn’t find a less dangerous and more stable and reliable job.”

Regina’s eyes went wide in horror and she paled visibly, “Emma had been shot?!”  
The mere thought almost gave her a heart attack.

“She came in, left arm still in a sling, can you believe it? And she was desperate, I could tell. But she also had that fire in her eyes. A real fighter. And yet so kind as you keep saying”, Kathryn smiled at the memory, “I don’t regret hiring Emma for a second. She truly is the best assistant I’ve ever had. She needed a chance and I’m glad I was in a position to offer her one.”


	11. Far from perfect

**T** he visit of Emma and the children at the mansion had gone smoothly and Regina had felt great all day.  
Henry had been fascinated by the estate and her family history and she had given him a small tour while the other kids had chased Hades through the massive garden.  
She had shown Roland and Alexandra how to get Hades to do tricks and the duo had found great joy in playing with her dog for the rest of the day.  
Lily had never left her side. She had simply been happy to be in Regina’s presence and Neal had fallen in love with the plush lion Graham had brought back from the toy store.  
She had insisted that he take it home with him and Emma had given her a grateful smile.

Emma.  
Emma with all her hidden pain and her shining kindness.

Regina was at a point where she didn’t know what to do with herself anymore because she just wanted to pull Emma close and never let go again.  
One smile was enough to lighten up Regina’s darkness and it warmed her heart, but it also scared Regina a great deal that Emma’s mere presence held such power over her.

\-------------

The silence that had followed the visit had been deafening and when Emma had sent her a text to thank her for a lovely day Regina had thrown caution to the wind and had offered to make it a weekly occurrence, at least until she could get rid of the cast and therefore drive again.

Emma hadn’t answered right away and Regina might have gone a little crazy until the blonde had called about an hour later to apologize for the late reply, but she had needed to tuck the kids in and had forgotten the time.  
What had followed had been a conversation Regina wouldn’t have anticipated.  
Emma had confessed that she was conflicted about letting the kids spend time with Regina because they had taken a liking to her and she knew that it would only be temporary and that Regina would meet Mister or Misses Right eventually and they wouldn’t have kids and it would leave these five orphans, who had lost so much already, heartbroken all over again. And that it was bad enough as it was, but if they would continue this charade it would only get harder to let go. For the kids, for all of them.

Regina had inwardly screamed because Emma had been right, of course, but she needed more time.  
More time to make a decision, to figure out what she wanted.  
But it really wouldn’t be fair to the children.

And so they had agreed that Emma and the kids wouldn’t be visiting again anytime soon, but Emma had insisted that she wanted to stay friends and that they could be in each other’s lives, just in a smaller capacity.  
It had hurt, but it had been necessary and it had left Regina miserable.  
It had also made her see how lonely she really was.

\-------------

A week had passed and Regina had tried to keep herself busy and distracted with work, but that hadn’t gone half as well as she had hoped.  
Now that it was Saturday again she debated whether she should call Kathryn or a cab.  
The cab would mean that she would throw the last spark of caution to the wind, drive over to Emma’s and beg the blonde to give her a chance, hoping that it wouldn’t blow up in all of their faces.

It was selfish and stupid and Regina was well aware of that, but she was that desperate.  
Before she could make a decision or talk herself out of her own madness her doorbell rang and she met a seemingly conflicted Emma on the other side of the door as soon as she answered.

“Is this a bad time?”  
Emma looked so insecure and sacred, but Regina was too shocked and also too hurt to react properly, “Not necessarily. I’m just not sure why you are here because if I recall correctly we agreed not to see each other so often anymore.”

“I know, I know. And I’m sorry for disturbing you, Regina, but can I talk to you for a minute? I thought we should probably have this conversation face to face, not over the phone.”

Regina hesitated for a moment, but then she nodded and allowed Emma to enter the house.

“Where is Hades?”

“Garden.”

Emma’s shoulders slumped at the answer, but she didn’t dare ask if she could go and greet him because he had gotten attached too, not just the kids. And it wouldn’t be fair.

Regina, who had gotten a different cast in the meantime, one with which she could actually walk without crutches, led her into the spacious living room, “Can I offer you something to drink?”

“No, thank you. I can’t stay long because…”

“Of course.”  
Regina winced at the iciness of her own voice and realized that not even their first encounter had been that frosty.

Emma sat down on the far end of the couch and fidgeted with her hands nervously, “I meant it when I said I want us to be friends, Regina. I just don’t know what to do about the kids because I don’t want them to get hurt.”  
The pained expression in sad, green eyes added a silent _I don’t want to get hurt either_.

Regina’s gaze softened at the confession, “I know.”

“And now Henry wants to write a paper about your family for his history class”, Emma announced, sounding as helpless as she felt, “I can’t just tell him ‘no’. And why would I? I mean it’s a legitimate theme and all, but if I allow him to come see you in case you would agree to help him...then I can’t keep the others away and I just don’t know what to do.”

“I’m afraid I have no answer to that question either, but I’d like to help Henry with his project. You and your family are welcome here anytime, Emma. But of course I can’t make any promises about the future and neither can you. I wish I could say that things will always stay as easy going as they are now, but that would be a lie. My life is quite a bit different from yours and I don’t know if there is a middle way or anything, but we’ve made it this far, as friends, and I think it’s a shame to throw it away. The children aren’t getting any younger and they will have to learn that some things in life are only temporary sooner or later. No one can protect them from that I’m afraid.”

Emma dropped her head, “I’m aware of that, Regina, but it’s very hard for me. I’ve been pushed and shoved around my whole life, from foster home to foster home. New faces every couple of months. And I don’t want that for the kids. I want them to have something stable, something they can rely on. That’s why making new friends is so hard for me. It’s the reason I don’t date. Because people don’t stick around when you have five kids. I just wish we had never gone on that date…it was nice and I was stupid and naive. And if we had never talked about kids and had just stuck to our plan of being friends then you would have met the kids one day and maybe it wouldn’t have been that bad because you do get along with them. And it wouldn’t be in the back of my mind twenty-four-seven that you don’t really like kids and that you will run for the hills sooner or later.”

A heavy sigh escaped Regina’s lips, “I messed that one up really well, didn’t I?”

“It’s not your fault, Regina. It’s simply who you are and I accept that. I like you anyway. Because you accept me and the kids as well. Which reminds me…I really have to go. Would it be alright if Henry called you?”

“Of course. And Emma, we’ll figure something out, okay? If you feel up to it bring the children over so Henry and I can talk about his school project. If not I can meet him somewhere. Both options are fine by me. The choice is yours.”

\-------------

Regina had stared after Emma for a long while that day.  
She had been tempted to confess her feelings and that she was experiencing some change of heart in regards to children and having a family of her own, but she hadn’t found the courage in the end. It was too soon and she was nowhere near certain.  
Emma had talked friendship only anyway and all things considered, it was probably for the best.

To her surprise the whole family had shown up again the next weekend and the weekend after that and she had helped Henry with his project as promised.  
It had been nice to have the children around and Regina had wished she could say the same about Emma, but the blonde had been on edge and tense for the most part and it had left Regina with feelings of guilt.

She had gotten rid of the annoying cast at last as well and had returned to work in her office, startling her employees because she had popped up unannounced and there had been hell to pay when she had found most of them lazying around or chatting instead of working.

Her leg still hurt at times, especially when she was on her feet for too long, but all in all, thanks to her physiotherapist, things were going well.  
At least when it came to her health.  
Everything else was far from perfect, but it was better than nothing.

\-------------

She was stuck in a meeting with one of her most important clients, Mr. Gold, the last week of August when her phone rang and caught a glimpse of Kathryn’s name on the display while she muted the device.  
Regina made a mental note to call back as soon as she could, only to see the display flash up again a few moments later.  
Another call from Kathryn. And another.

Regina knew right away that something had to be wrong because her best friend usually waited for her to call back when she couldn’t, for whatever reason, answer right away.

“Mr. Gold, excuse me for a second”, she interrupted his speech when the display flashed up again, “Kathryn, what’s wrong?”

“It’s Roland. There’s been an accident at the playground. I drove Emma to the hospital and I thought you might want to know.”

Regina felt the blood rushing in her ears as she jumped up, hand shaking, “Mr. Gold, I’m very sorry, but I have to go. It’s an emergency. I’ll give you a call later so we can re-schedule.”  
And before Rupert Gold could have said anything Regina stormed out of the room, knowing full-well that she would probably pay dearly.

Nobody walked out on Gold and God knew she had never run from a meeting in the first place, not once in her life, but in this moment none of that mattered.


	12. Just leave

**R** egina rushed down the corridor that led to the ER faster than what was advisable with her leg, but she ignored the pain because she had to find Emma.  
A rather sympathetic nurse pointed her to the waiting room where she found her in a tight embrace with Ruby and the sight irritated her, but Regina kept quiet because she was well aware that her jealousy was misplaced.

Worry was written all over Emma’s face and it broke Regina’s heart.

“Kathryn called me. I came as soon as I heard”, was the only thing Regina managed to say when her eyes met Emma’s and the next thing she knew was that Emma stepped away from Ruby and pulled her into a hug instead.  
Emma clung to her as the minutes ticked by until Ruby cleared her throat, “I should probably go and check on the kids.”

“Thank you so much for doing this, Ruby”, Emma rasped out as she pulled her keys from her pocket.

“Don’t mention it, Em. And give me a call later.”  
Ruby took the keys from Emma’s hand and put a kiss to her friend’s temple, “Take care of yourself too, you hear me? Roland will be fine. He’s a fighter. Just like you.”

A small smile appeared on Emma’s face as she nodded, “I know.”

\-------------

It took almost an hour before a doctor came to see them and the news he brought weren’t what Emma had hoped for either.  
Roland’s condition was more serious than she had expected.

Apparently, he had climbed the wooden “castle” at the playground and must have slipped because he had fallen right off of it.   
That’s what the teacher had said.  
The whole trip had been a reward for the class as they had done so well lately and nobody would have thought it would end in such a tragedy.

Unfortunately, Roland must have hit his head harder than anticipated because the doctor was talking about swelling in the brain and possible bleeding and scans. And things like medical induced coma and Emma couldn’t help, but panic because she couldn’t lose Roland and it was all too much.

The doctor led them to a smaller waiting room that allowed them more privacy and he promised to be back as soon as he would know more, but the moment he was out of the door Emma finally broke.

Ever since Ingrid’s death, which had left her just as lost as these kids, she had to be strong. She had to keep it together because it was the only way that this family of hers could function, but she was exhausted and tired. And she was sick of doing it all by herself. Always alone.   
At the end of the day she had always been alone and yes, she had a family now, but she wanted someone who loved her for who she was and loved the kids all the same.  
She had her own demons to fight, her own burden to carry and she just wished that somebody would be there to take on some of the weight.

She kept sobbing and ranting while Regina held her and listened, swallowing her own worry for the boy in the process because Emma needed her to be strong for her more than anything.

\-------------

It took Emma a while before she finally managed to calm herself down.  
Regina was about to ask her if she wanted something to drink when her cell phone rang and she sighed when she caught sight of the caller ID.  
It was her secretary and she was honestly surprised that it had taken her this long to call, given that she had stormed out of her meeting about two hours ago.

“I’m sorry, I’ve got to take this. I kinda left in the middle of something”, Regina looked apologetic and hesitant.  
But Emma only waved her off, “You don’t have to be here. I mean I’m really glad you came, but you should go. It’s not like Roland’s your kid or anything.”

Regina froze at the comment and she felt as if somebody had stabbed her in the chest.  
It wasn’t because Emma had basically dismissed her either, which she kind of understood because one look into Emma’s eyes told her everything she needed to know.  
Emma felt raw and vulnerable and exposed after her meltdown and Regina couldn’t fault her for that because God knew that she’d push everyone away if she would be in Emma’s position.  
What had hurt Regina was the fact that Emma still couldn’t see that she did care about these children.   
Yes, of course, they weren’t hers, but she’d come to, well, love was a strong word, but…  
She had come running as soon as she heard, didn’t that tell Emma anything?

“I’ll be right back.”

\-------------

She had told her secretary to clear her schedule for the rest of the week and to reschedule everything without giving the confused woman any explanation and Regina didn’t even want to know what kind of gossip would spread at work, but she couldn’t care less.

When she returned to the room Emma was talking to the doctor and for a moment Regina expected to be sent away, but Emma nodded her approval for her to stay.  
They learned that Roland was stable and that the next 48 hours would be crucial.   
The scans hadn’t shown any bleeding, but they had induced a coma as a precaution because there was some swelling of the brain and Roland wasn’t out of the woods yet.  
The doctor was very careful in his prognosis as well because he didn’t want to promise too much, but he told them that there was a fair chance that Roland would make a full recovery.  
They had to wait and see till they could wake him up for a proper prognosis and to learn about eventual lasting damage though.

The doctor, Regina still didn’t know his name because she hadn’t bothered to pay attention to that little detail, which was completely untypical for her, but it didn’t really matter to her at this point, led them to the room Roland was in, attached to countless tubes and an IV and Regina almost fainted at the sight.

It was Emma who squeezed her hand to get her attention, “I’m sorry for being so harsh earlier. I’m glad you are here, but you don’t have to spend your night at the hospital. I know how much you hate them and there’s nothing we can do at the moment anyway.”

Regina turned to look at Emma because she needed her to see that she was sincere about this, “If you want me to go I will, but I’d rather stay.”

\-------------

Roland had been stable throughout the night, much to everyone’s relief and David showed up in the morning to stay with him for a couple of hours so Emma could go home and check on the rest of the kids.  
She didn’t want to leave, but Emma knew the others would be worried sick and would need her comfort as well.

Regina offered to drive her and that was how they ended up in front of Emma’s house once again.  
Everyone would be at school or kindergarten right now, which would allow Emma to take a shower and get some rest before she would have to face the kids and she was grateful for that because those plastic chairs in the hospital really had done a number on her back.

Ruby must have heard the car and came out of the house, carrying two mugs of freshly brewed coffee and handed them to Emma and Regina.

“Everyone is fine and off to school and what not. How is Roland?”

Emma took a sip of coffee before she answered, “The doctor is carefully optimistic.”

“That’s good. I already talked to Mary Margaret and she said she’ll see if she can find someone to take over her classes tomorrow so she can stay with the kids tonight. I wish I could stay, but Granny has a nasty cold and…”

“It’s okay, Rubes. I hope Granny feels better soon. And I’ll figure something out because I don’t want Mary Margaret to take time off work because of us”, Emma squeezed her best friend’s arm.

“I could stay with the children”, Regina blurted out and both Ruby and Emma turned to look at her in surprise, “If that’s okay with you of course.”

“Regina, you’ve already stayed with me last night. I know you have work too and…”

“Actually, I don’t. I had my secretary clear my schedule for the rest of the week so the offer stands.”

Ruby smirked in amusement, “That’s very thoughtful of you.”  
The situation was anything, but funny with Roland in a coma, but Ruby found it incredibly sweet that Regina cared so much despite the fact that seemed so insistent that she didn’t want to have kids. Although she had a feeling that Regina might have had a bit of a change of heart lately.

“If you really don’t mind”, Emma didn’t sound convinced, “I mean you don’t have to go out of your way, Regina.”

“It’s not a problem, dear. I’m sure I can manage to survive a night alone in this house. Alone with the children I mean. I’d have to bring Hades though.”

A genuine smile appeared on Emma’s face at that, “You should have started with that. The kids might not let you leave ever again because God knows they are quite taken with your beast.”  
She had wanted to say _they are quite taken with you and your beast_ , but she hadn’t dared to.

Regina finished her coffee and handed the mug back to Ruby, “Thank you. I really needed that.”  
And then she turned to face Emma once again, “I’ll head home to take a nap and pack an overnight bag. I will be back here around three if that’s alright?”

“That’s fine. Thank you, Regina.”

She reached out and squeezed Emma’s hand gently, “Please. It's the least I can do. And don’t worry about cooking. I’ll bring something for dinner.”

\-------------

True to her word Regina returned in the afternoon with Hades.  
She had stopped to buy groceries on the way and Henry helped her carry everything inside.

Lily and Neal were taking a nap and Alexandra was busy with homework, which left Regina with Henry and Emma, who was awfully quiet upon her arrival.

“Can I help you to cook dinner later?”, Henry looked at Regina expectantly.  
She couldn’t help, but smile at the eagerness in his voice, “Of course. I’d love that, Henry.”

Emma cleared her throat, “Kid, can you give us a minute. I need to talk to Regina about some things before I return to the hospital.”

Henry only shrugged, “Yeah, sure. I’ll take Hades outside to play ball.”

As soon as he was out of earshot Emma got up and started to pace, “Are you really sure you want to do this, Regina? I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything.”

“Emma, relax. I offered, remember? I’m sure everything will be fine. I promise to call you in case an emergency would arise, but I’m positive that I can manage. And I’m sure Henry will help me if I need anything, will he not?”

“Yeah. Yeah, of course. He is a good kid”, Emma agreed.

“They all are.”

\-------------

Once Lily and Neal woke up from their nap Emma explained to them that Regina would stay with them so she could go back to check on Roland.  
Lily stormed off in search of Regina as soon as she heard that she was in the house and Emma looked after the little girl worriedly.   
Getting too attached could only lead to heartache. Emma had learned that early on in life and she really wished she could spare her kids the pain, but Regina was right, of course.  
She couldn’t protect them from life and sooner or later all of them would have their hearts broken by something or someone.

\-------------

Regina fixed Emma some sandwiches so she would have something to eat at the hospital later.   
And once the blonde left she had started to prepare dinner with the help of all of the children in the end.

There were a few questions about Roland and when he would come home and Regina felt a bit out of it for a moment, but Henry came to her aid and they did their best to explain that it would take a while without scaring the little ones.

Things went pretty smoothly until bedtime came around because the whole situation of Emma being gone and Roland being in hospital had taken more of a toll on the children than they had let on and it was Regina’s suggestion to cuddle up in Emma’s bed, since it was the biggest bed in the house, so she could read to all of them until everyone felt ready to go to sleep.  
Henry smiled at her proudly and somehow Regina felt more accomplished than ever.

\-------------

Emma returned from the hospital early the next morning after another stable night for Roland because she wanted to see her kids off to school and kindergarten and she wanted to make sure that Regina hadn’t gone crazy.

David had shown up at the hospital after his night shift at the animal shelter and had told Emma that he would stay for a while and Ruby had promised to drop by later to bring him lunch and take over until Mary Margaret would finish work.  
She really had amazing friends and that was one thing Emma was, and would always be, grateful for.

She snuck into the house, careful not to wake anyone because it was barely 5.30 am.  
When she took a glimpse inside Alexandra’s and Lily’s bedroom she found it empty and Emma started to panic.  
Neal’s and Roland’s bedroom - empty.  
Henry’s bedroom - empty.

Her heart was racing at this point and she almost didn’t dare to keep walking, but calm instantly flooded her when she caught sight of her own bedroom.

Regina was lying in the middle of the bed with Lily snuggled into her left side and Neal into her right.  
Next to Neal was Henry and next to Lily was Alexandra.  
Regina was still wearing her glasses and Henry’s fairytale book was resting on her chest.  
Hades was lying at their feet, but contrary to the others he was awake and eyeing Emma warningly as if to say “It’s been a long night, let them sleep.”

The sunrise provided enough light for Emma to take a picture with her phone because she knew this was a memory she wanted to conserve forever.  
It warmed her heart to see Regina so caring and at the same time it also broke it because it would only be temporary.  
And it was painful to watch them sleep all cuddled up, like a family, when she knew full well that it was something she would never have. Not like that. Not with Regina.

\-------------

Emma had fixed breakfast and ultimately driven Alexandra, Lily and Neal to school and kindergarten while Henry had helped Regina to clean the dishes because he only had to be at school later that day.

He was upstairs in his room when Emma returned and she was grateful for that.  
Regina as well because she knew right away that something was wrong as soon as she caught sight of Emma.

“Has something happened to Roland?”  
Regina feared for the worst.

It took a moment before Emma shook her head, her expression sad and defeated, “No. He’s stable.”

“Then what’s wrong?”  
Regina’s eyes were pleading and it caused Emma to close hers because she couldn’t do what she had to do if she had to look into those warm, brown eyes.  
They were, and would always be, her undoing.

“Regina, I need you to leave.”

“W-what?”  
Disbelief. Confusion. 

“I need you to leave because having you here…it’s too hard. I can’t. I…”, Emma struggled for the right words, “I can’t watch you bond with the kids. I can’t let you do this to them. To us. These kids adore you. I…it’s…I can’t do this any longer because it’s too hard because I know it’s not real. I know I’ll never have this with you. Seeing you upstairs in the morning, cuddled up with Lily, Neal, Alexandra and Henry. It was like a glimpse at the future I want. The future I wish I could have. With you. But I know it’s just an illusion and I can’t deal with this on top of everything. It’s too hard.”

Regina was so overwhelmed, she didn’t know what to say.  
“Emma, I…”

“Please. Just leave.”

And because Regina was too hurt and too exhausted, emotionally and physically, she did.  
She didn’t have the strength to fight in that moment because everything that had happened, everything that had changed, had taken a toll on her as well and it finally caught up with her.

She didn’t get far though because as soon as she was in the car she couldn’t hold her tears back any longer.


	13. Just a dream?

**R** egina had cried for a long time before she had finally left.  
Hades had seemed confused by their sudden departure and her sadness, but he had followed her out of the house like a shadow and was lying on the backseat now, quite upset about the situation and his owner’s mood, but indecisive about what do to.

The thought of returning to an empty mansion made Regina’s heart ache even more and so she simply drove through town without a destination until her phone rang.  
Kathryn.

She wasn’t sure that she really wanted to talk to her, to anyone really, but then again she needed advice.  
Knowing full well that she was in no condition to talk and drive, even if the phone would be on speaker, she stopped the car and answered the call.  
Kathryn, like the good friend she was, knew right away that something was wrong and Regina was too exhausted to deflect or pretend, so she simply told her the truth, which led to Kathryn asking her what she wanted.

“I want to stay. With all of them.”

“There’s your answer, Regina. If that’s really what you want then go for it. I can tell that you’ve come to care a great deal about Emma and these kids. If somebody would have told me that last year I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but you’ve changed. So if you want to be with Emma, kids and all, and I believe you do…then go and make it happen.”

It couldn’t be that easy, now could it?

“What if…”

Kathryn took a deep breath, “No _what ifs_ anymore. Regina, I know you. God alone knows how it happened but you came to love these kids. I never thought it possible, but somehow Emma and her lot have turned your life around. Meeting her really has changed you, but not in a bad way or anything. So go ahead. You deserve to be happy. You always have. The only one standing in your way is you.”

\-------------

Henry pulled the front door open, ready to go to school and almost bumped into a red eyed Regina.  
She looked so miserable and he was well aware why that was.  
He had overheard Emma’s little speech and he knew he had only one shot to make this right because Regina belonged with them, he was certain about that.

When he saw fresh tears glistening in her eyes he hugged her wordlessly and it broke his teenage heart a little to feel Regina cling to him for dear life.

“Everything will be fine, you’ll see”, he stated with a smile once he pulled back, “You’re family now, right?”

Regina looked at him for a minute and took the opportunity to take the boy in properly.  
Henry was such a handsome boy, gentle and kind and his eyes so full of trust and hope and yes, she could see her future in them.  
A future filled with the chaos a life with five children brought about, but also the joy, the fun, the love and the laughter.

She nodded at last, acknowledging the question for what it was.  
“I’d love that.”

“Then you don’t have anything to worry about”, Henry’s smile grew even wider, “I’ve got to go, but I’ll see you later, Regina.”

\-------------

Hades stormed into the house and took his favourite spot on the couch without a word from Regina which allowed her to go upstairs by herself.

She found Emma curled up in bed and at first she thought her sleeping, but then Regina recognised how Emma’s body shook. It wasn’t much, it was barely recognisable, but Emma had to be crying.

“May I sit down?”, Regina rasped out, her voice trembling.  
She didn’t want to do anything to upset Emma further or without her permission so she waited.

It took a moment for Emma to turn around before bloodshot eyes met each other, “Why are you here, Regina?”

“Becauses”, Regina knew she wouldn’t be able to confess everything while Emma was so distant and wanted her gone, but she also knew that she had to give Emma something, “Because the future you want to have…I want that too.”

Emma sat up hesitantly and patted the mattress to signalise Regina that she could sit down.  
Once they were seated next to each other Regina took Emma’s left hand between hers, “I know what I said that day at dinner. And I meant it then. Had I known that you have five children from the beginning we probably wouldn’t be here now either because I was so sure I wanted nothing to do with children. So I’m actually quite thankful that you didn’t tell me because getting to know you and your family…it has changed me. It has shown me that…so many things really.”

“I get that you don’t want to lose this right now, Regina, but you’ll get sick of the responsibility eventually”, Emma whispered and dropped her head.

Regina only shook hers, “That’s what I thought at first as well. Kathryn and I talked about that a while ago. But ever since…I do care about these children. I haven’t, not once in my career, left a meeting, but when Kat called about Roland I stormed out as if the devil would have been after me and that although I was in a meeting with our most important client. And he’s not someone who tolerates behaviour like that, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t care less. I was, I am, worried sick. Ever since we had this discussion the first time…that it could be bad for the children…I’ve been thinking about this. The truth is the more time that passes the more I crave to be with you. With all of you. And that’s not gonna change because I have changed. I see things in a new, in a different light now”, Regina confessed, “I’ve come to realize what a gift children are. Well, maybe not all of them, but yours definitely.”

Emma smiled at the comment, “I’m in love with you, you know that, right?”

“I do now. And I’d say that’s extremely fortunate because I’m in love with you too, Emma.”

Neither of them said anything after that, both of them trying to wrap their heads around what had just happened.

“Lie down with me?”, Emma asked shyly, “I’m so exhausted and you look like you could use some rest as well.”

Regina nodded and got out of her jacket and took off her shoes before she slid under the covers next to Emma, facing her.

“Where’s Hades?”

“Couch.”

Emma fought to keep her eyes open, but she would lose that battle soon, “This isn’t just a dream, is it?”

Regina moved closer and wrapped her arms around Emma before she put a kiss on her forehead, “No, dear. Not a dream. Sleep now. I’ll promise I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

Emma nodded and snuggled closer, her head resting on Regina’s chest.  
She was completely worn out and exhausted, physically and mentally, but in that moment she felt warm and safe.  
The solace Emma always craved was finally within reach, provided by Regina’s arms and her steadily beating heart.


	14. A new journey

**R** egina slowly blinked her eyes open, only to meet Emma’s sparkling green ones.  
Eyes that studied her in wonder.

A content smile appeared on her face, drawing a hesitant one onto Emma’s as well and Regina couldn’t stop herself from running her fingertips over Emma’s jaw carefully.

“You’re still here.”  
Emma’s voice was raspy and she sounded incredibly insecure.

“I told you I would be.”  
Regina was about to say something else when the door flew open and a shrieking Lily stormed into the room and jumped onto the bed, “Gina! Gina, you are here!”

Henry appeared only a second later, completely out of breath, “Sorry. She’s simply too fast.”

Emma sat up in an attempt to wake up fully, “It’s okay, kid. I’ll be down in a minute. But it would be great if I could talk to Regina for a minute.”

Henry nodded eagerly, “Yeah. Of course.”  
He walked over to the bed and held his hand out, “Lily, let’s go. Emma and Regina probably want coffee and I need your help making it.”

“Kay!”

Emma and Regina watched the duo leave the room and by the time they were out of sight Regina was standing and trying to brush the wrinkles out of her outfit.

Emma walked over to the door, closed it and took a deep breath before she turned around to meet warm, brown eyes, “Regina, what are we doing?”

Confusion washed all over Regina’s face once again, “What do you mean? I already told you. I want to be here and I do care about the children and I…”

“I know what you said”, Emma interrupted, “And I can see how much you want this to work out, but Regina…are you aware what that means? Because we can’t just casually date. For one because I barely ever have a chance to get away. It will hardly ever be just me and you. Five kids don’t leave a lot of room for alone-time. For couple-y things. For spontaneous get-aways. Being with me means either you are in…or not. There's nothing inbetween. This life comes with a lot of responsibility and with so many sacrifices. I don’t mind. But I chose this life knowingly. I grew up like that, I don’t know anything else. But you…up until a few months ago you didn’t even like kids. Not to mention that you never wanted to have one. And now, all of a sudden, you want to give this a try? Why? What changed?”

Regina didn’t know what to say. She hated to be put on the spot, especially since she was only half awake and her mind was reeling and she could barely string a coherent sentence together, but she was well aware that her next words would matter. They would make all the difference. 

“I don’t know what changed, Emma. I wish I could name one particular moment that changed everything, but I can’t. It’s just. Ever since I met you life has become so much more interesting. You said it yourself. I smile more, laugh more. And meeting these children, witnessing your family dynamic…I have never seen anything like it. I never knew it could be that way. I certainly never had that. My sister and I, we’ve been, well, I wouldn’t say enemies, but we certainly weren’t friends. My parents weren’t all that happy in their marriage either. My father drank too much and my mother fought to keep everything up and running. It never occurred to me that I could want a family or children, yes. But now that I’ve seen what it can be like I’ve realized that it’s not as bad as I always thought it had to be. I mean, yes, it can be chaotic and I would assume a lot more exhausting than I’ve seen so far because your children have been on their best behaviour most of the time. I imagine it won’t always be like that”, Regina admitted and took a deep breath, “And I’m well aware that there is no such thing as casually dating when you’re here most of the time when you are not working. I don’t know yet how exactly it’s all going to work out, but I know that it can if we all put some effort into it.”

When Emma didn’t say anything Regina continued, “I’ve always loved my family’s estate because it's so secluded. Because I could recharge there as no one was around and I revelled in the silence. But lately…ever since I spent time here after my accident I miss the laughter when I’m at home. It feels cold and empty and not quite right anymore. I know this is not some experiment and believe me when I tell you, Emmam, this is not a decision that was made in the heat of the moment because you told me to leave. Kathryn and I talked about all of this more than once because she knows me better than I know myself. And I know, considering what I said during our date all these weeks ago, you must think I’ve gone mad, but I think I’m actually seeing clearly now…for the first time in forever. I do want to be a part of this family and I’m not naive. I know it won’t always be easy, but I’ve come to care about these children. And I miss them when they aren’t around. I’ve tried to fight it, all of it, and yet here I am. Because I can’t stay away and because I’ve fallen in love with you despite everything. The heart does have its reasons that defy all logic I guess.”

Emma took a step closer and reached out to take Regina’s hands, “You’re serious about this, aren’t you?”

“I am.”

She squeezed Regina’s hands gently, “It’s not going to be easy.”

Regina nodded, “I know.”

And then Emma pulled her into her arms and hugged her close, causing Regina to sigh in relief while she breathed Emma in.  
They had a lot more to talk about, but it would have to wait. There were children who needed to feed and a wounded Roland, who needed their support as well.  
And just like that reality kicked in.

\-------------

“Can you stay with the kids until Mary Margaret arrives? I think it would be better if you were here to introduce her to Hades, just in case”, Emma mumbled before she drank her last sip of coffee.

“Yes, of course. I’ll prepare dinner while we wait for her so she doesn't have to worry about that. And I’ll bring something over to the hospital for you later”, Regina smiled encouragingly.

Emma nodded slowly, “That sounds lovely. But if you want to go home that would be fine too.”

“I appreciate it, but I’ll see you at the hospital later.”  
Regina knew how insecure Emma was, it was evident in the blonde’s eyes and she understood why Emma was so hesitant to trust her on the matter, but Regina was determined to prove to her that she meant what she said, unaware how long and bumpy of a road that would turn out to be.

\-------------

Lily and Neal were drawing pictures at the kitchen table and Alexandra was doing her homework while Henry helped Regina to chop vegetables.  
Hades observed the scene with rapt attention from his spot right next to the doorframe.

“So, you and Emma are just friends, huh?”, Henry looked so smug and Regina couldn’t help, but chuckle.  
That boy really was something else.

“Well, maybe we are more than that”, Regina admitted sheepishly, unused to feeling so childish, “I think we could be something more. A…a family. All of us. Eventually.”  
She felt nervous all of a sudden because what if the children didn’t want that after all.

But Henry only smiled, “I think that’s great! Because I know Emma cares a great deal about you and I can tell you care about her as well. And you like us too.”

“And what gives you that impression?”, Regina challenged, unsure if she really wanted to hear that answer.

Henry shrugged, “You’re still here. And you take care of us.”

“It’s not always going to be that easy. And the five of you won’t always be so well behaved. You need to help me out here and there, you know that, right?”, Regina looked Henry in the eye because she needed him to understand she was sincere and serious about it all.

“Yes. Yes, of course. I told you that day in your office. You can learn and we’ll help. Also, when Emma decided to keep us we had a long talk. All of us. Sure, the little ones didn’t really understand then, but Emma told us flat out that if we didn’t behave and support one another things wouldn’t work out and we would end up in the orphanage or something because there was only so much she could do on her own. We want this family. None of us want to go back to…you know”, Henry dropped his head and Regina’s heart broke for him.

“How many homes did you have before this one, Henry?”

“Seven. It wasn’t horrible in most of them, but being unwanted sucks. None of us had it as bad as Emma though, so I guess that’s something”, he looked so helpless as he said it and Regina couldn’t stop herself from hugging him.

When she pulled back to meet his eyes she could see the tears he tried to hold back with all his might, “I don’t know if things will work out for Emma and I, for all of us, but what I can promise you is that I will try my hardest to make it happen, okay?”

“Okay.”

They finished preparing dinner in silence after that, but Regina couldn’t help, but wonder how terribly Emma’s past really had been.

\-------------

It was close to 9 pm when Regina finally arrived at the hospital because Neal had been startled by Mary Margaret’s arrival and it had taken Henry and Regina a while to calm him down. It had been a joined effort really and then Lily had thrown a tantrum because she had wanted to be tucked in by Regina and from one moment to the next everything had turned into a massive chaos.

It had been somewhat of a chain reaction and Regina had expected something like that to happen sooner or later, but she would have preferred later because now she was exhausted and she knew it wouldn’t help matters because Emma clearly would pick up on it and it would probably make her doubt everything all over again.  
And Regina was simply too tired and too drained, mentally, for another discussion about whether things could work out between them or not.

She entered the room Roland was in as quietly as possible and gestured for Emma to come outside for a minute, shoving the container of food in her hands as soon as the blonde appeared in the corridor, “Sorry I’m late.”

Emma eyed her worriedly, “Is everything alright?”

Regina sighed, “Neal had a hard time once Mary Margaret showed up. He’s fine now though. It just took us a while to get him calm and then Lily wanted attention too and it got worse from there.”

“I’m sorry.”  
Emma sounded so small and defeated once again.

Tired or not, Regina managed to smile as she cupped Emma’s cheek, “It’s alright. They are children after all. And the situation is hard on them too. You must be starving, so go and eat. I’ll sit with Roland in the meantime.”

\-------------

She must have dozed off because Regina almost jumped out of her skin when she felt hands on her shoulder.

“It’s just me.”  
Emma’s voice was barely a whisper, “Thanks for dinner, Regina. It was delicious.”

She tried to stifle a yawn with little success and cursed herself for it, well aware that Emma would tell her to go home and the blonde proved her right only seconds later.

“Regina, I really appreciate you being here, but you are exhausted. You need to rest and I’m not trying to send you away, but you should go and get some sleep.”

But the thought of leaving was unbearable and so Regina decided to figure out a _Plan B_ , “I’ll be right back.”

\-------------

It took almost twenty minutes before she came back together with a nurse, a cot, a pillow and a blanket.  
Emma looked at her in disbelief, but Regina only shrugged.

The nurse set up the cot and left without another word and Regina lied down while Emma kept staring at her.

“There’s not a lot of space and it might not be all that comfy, but if you want to get some sleep as well I’m happy to share”, Regina stated at last and she saw the hesitancy in Emma’s eyes.

Ultimately Emma nodded and squeezed herself onto the cot next to Regina though, “I’ve slept in worse places.”

Regina wrapped her arm around Emma’s waist protectively and vowed to herself that one day they would have a conversation about the things that haunted Emma.  
It might not be the time nor the place and Regina wasn’t even sure she was ready to hear it all, but they would get there in time.

“They are going to reduce the meds tomorrow. They said it might take some time, but they are waking Roland up”, Emma whispered and for the first time there was something akin to hope in her voice.

“That’s great news.”  
Regina felt quite delighted by the prospect as well.

And then she felt Emma put a kiss right next to the corner of her lips, gentle and barely there, causing Regina to smile into the darkness.  
It wasn’t much, but it was something.   
It was a start.  
The start to a journey Regina would have never expected, but craved all the same.


	15. Complicated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A big shout-out to the birthday kid - **Ana**!_
> 
> _I hope you'll have a spectacular day, love! God knows you deserve the world and I truly hope all your dreams_ _and wishes come true!_  
>  _Much love from the whole crazy pack ;) xo_

**T** hey returned to the house in the late morning when everyone was already at school or kindergarten because the doctors told them it would be a while before Roland would wake up. David had taken their spot once again, keeping watch till they would return.  
Regina went to take a shower while Emma prepared breakfast and she couldn’t help, but chuckle when Regina appeared in the kitchen wearing a pair of Emma’s sweatpants and one of her tank tops.

It was one of the cutest things Emma had ever seen, especially when Regina started to blush, “What? I needed something to wear.”

“Not complaining, your majesty. I just didn’t think I’d ever see the day you’d wear sweatpants.”

Regina huffed, “I do have a dog, you know? I’m not always dressed up to the nines. Which reminds me…where is Hades anyway?”

“Outside. Lying in the sun like he owns the place”, Emma laughed out loud, “As regal as his owner.”

Regina really enjoyed their banter, especially since things had been so tense lately, “Is that so?”

“Most definitely”, Emma stated, a triumphant smirk on her face, “And as spoiled as they come. Which brings me back to breakfast. Please, sit down, your majesty. Your food is ready to be served.”

\-------------

Regina was sitting in bed, answering emails on her phone while Emma was in the shower which meant that Regina didn’t pay too much attention to the blonde when she returned to the bedroom at first.  
But when Emma was about to crawl into bed Regina finally looked up to see Emma in her tank top and panties and she was about to utter a playful comment in regards to Emma’s attire when she caught sight of the burn marks on her thighs.

When it dawned on Emma what Regina was staring at she cursed under her breath, wondering how she could have been so stupid.

“I. Uh. I have a lot of those. Scars I mean. I know they look ugly, but it’s easy to cover them as long as I don’t wear a bikini”, Emma stated apologetically, but Regina only shook her head and took Emma’s wrist to pull her onto the bed.

“May I?”

She waited for Emma’s reply, which came in the form of a hesitant nod.  
Regina ran her fingertips over the marred flesh, causing Emma to shiver slightly.

“How did you get these?”, Regina looked at Emma worriedly.

The blonde looked down at her hands and shrugged, “Foster kid, remember? Stuff like that happens when…it doesn’t matter.”

Regina sat up straighter, her mind reeling.   
She might not be an expert, but weren’t foster parents supposed to take care of the children entrusted to them and not tear them apart?  
Of course she knew that reality was probably nowhere near kind, but seeing it up close shattered her heart.

She laid down on her side, waiting for Emma to do the same and once they were face to face Regina ran her fingers through Emma’s blonde locks, “You’re beautiful, you know that, right?”

Emma closed her eyes, “It’s nice of you to say that, Regina, but…”

Regina silenced her by pressing her index finger against pink lips, “No buts. You are beautiful, Emma. Stunning really. And a few scars won’t change that.”

She felt Emma move closer until their lips were almost touching and Regina could feel Emma’s breath tickling hers.  
And then Emma did kiss her for the first time and it was sweet and soft and gentle and yet she could taste the determination, the promise of so much more to come in the future.

\-------------

Roland woke up two days later, much to everyone’s relief, but it also meant going back to work for both Emma and Regina.  
Eugenia Lucas, Ruby’s grandmother, would stay with Roland as he had to stay in the hospital for a couple of days longer and the elderly woman had reached her end when it came to the diner anyway.  
She claimed it would be the perfect test run for Ruby to see if she could manage to run the diner all by herself.

Unfortunately, with everyone’s return to their normal routine also came Regina’s return to her manor because the house had only two bathrooms and she would never get ready in time to be at the office at a decent hour if she would stay over at Emma’s because all the children had to get ready for school and such.

They met up for lunch on Tuesday, but it was rushed because Regina had so much work to catch up on that she didn’t know where to start.  
At least they got to talk on the phone in the evenings, but it wasn’t enough.  
Far from it, really.

Friday Roland was released from the hospital and Regina looked forward to spending the weekend with Emma and her family, but then Gold called and demanded a meeting on Saturday and she knew that her plan had gone right out of the window.  
She only arrived at Emma’s around dinner time and by then Regina was so exhausted that all she wanted to do was sleep.  
She knew the children were disappointed, especially Lily, and Regina had contemplated going home, but Emma had only squeezed her hand and had told her to get some rest.

Sunday flew by faster than she could blink and Regina found herself back at work Monday morning way too soon.  
Her mood was even worse than usual and most of her employees ducked or ran as soon as they caught sight of her.

She had known that being with Emma would be complicated, but she hadn’t anticipated for things to be that hard and work getting in the way that much.  
Then again she shouldn’t have been surprised because up until now all she had done was work and it had never mattered to be home at a certain time or to make sure that she had the weekends off and Regina couldn’t help, but stare at her busy schedule helplessly.

She would have to cancel lunch with Emma on Tuesday as well.  
Damnit!

\-------------

By the time Thursday arrived Regina was furious. One of her meetings had been cancelled and she could have done lunch that day, but unfortunately Emma was running errands for Kathryn and therefore not in her office.  
She really was out of luck.

A knock on her office door made Regina curse because she was about to order herself some lunch and Jacinda appeared a moment later, “Miss Mills, I’m sorry to disturb you, but you have a visitor. Miss Midas is here to see you.”

A small smile spread on her face, “Send her in. And you might take your break now.”

Jacinda nodded in appreciation and left without another word, giving way to Kathryn, who waltzed into Regina’s office as if she would own the place, bag of take-out in hand.

“Why so serious, Mills? I come in peace, bearing gifts.”

“Funny”, Regina replied, “Care to tell me what you are doing here, Kat? Not that I’m not happy to see you, but you hardly ever make it over here.”

Kathryn chuckled, “It’s a bit of an intervention because Emma looks so sad all the time and from the few times I’ve talked to you on the phone the last two weeks I can tell you’re not doing too well either. So care to tell me what’s going on?”

Regina sighed and gestured for Kathryn to take a seat on the couch.  
Her best friend did as she was told while Regina left the office only to return a moment later carrying a water bottle, two glasses and cutlery.

She took a seat next to Kathryn and sighed again, “It’s hard, you know. Work is so busy and then I had that meeting with Gold last weekend and we barely get to see one another. And I can’t stay over during the week because that house only has two bathrooms and I could never get ready for work on time and it would be too chaotic. Emma and the children have their routine in the morning and I would just be in the way.”

Kathryn nodded, “Yeah, I can see that. Couldn’t they stay over at yours?”

Regina shook her head, “It’s too far from their schools and everything. Plus, while I have more than enough space none of the rooms are suitable for children.”

“Maybe that’s something you should work on then.”

Kathryn’s suggestion sent Regina’s mind reeling.  
Should she really consider remodelling the manor? Wasn’t it way too early for that? And presumptuous on top of it?

“You’re definitely working too much”, Kathryn stated the obvious, “You’ve been for a long time. What happened to hiring an executive director?”

“I wanted to, but you know how it is, Kathryn. It’s hard to find reliable people”, Regina pinched the bridge of her nose, “But I suppose I should look into that again if I ever want to leave that office on time. Or have something akin to a weekend off work.”

"Or a life", Kathryn added and took the food containers out of the bag and handed one to Regina, “But yeah, that's the spirit. May I make a suggestion?”

“Of course”, Regina nodded with a smirk, “Let’s pretend that my opinion matters because we both know you’ll say it no matter if I want to hear it or not.”

A mock glare was directed at her by her best friend, who clutched her chest dramatically, “Regina, you wound me.”  
A second later Kathryn sat up straight and smiled, “I mean well, you know that, right?”

“I do.”

\-------------

Kathryn had suggested calling a friend of her father’s because she heard that his daughter considered moving to Storybrooke and she would be perfect for the job as an executive director.   
Regina had agreed reluctantly after Kathryn had assured her that she knew the woman in question and that there was nothing to worry about.

On the way back to her own office Kathryn passed the desk of Regina’s secretary, who was shoving some noodles into her mouth.

“Jacinda, is it?”

The woman nodded hesitantly and Kathryn smiled, “No worries. I come in peace. Can you show me Regina’s schedule for tomorrow?”

“I d-don’t know if t-that is such a g-good idea, Miss Midas”, the secretary stammered helplessly.

Kathryn put a calming hand on the woman’s shoulder, “I know what I’m doing. Trust me.”

Jacinda opened the calendar on her computer and Kathryn studied it for a minute before she smirked in satisfaction, “Exactly what I thought.”

She instructed Jacinda to clear Regina’s schedule for Friday afternoon and re-schedule two of her appointments the following week, which would allow Regina more time to breathe.  
Kathryn was determined to help Regina out because she wanted to see her best friend and her assistant happy and Kathryn was well aware that she could only accomplish that if the two most important women in her life got to spend time together.


	16. Pain of the past

**R** egina entered her office the next morning accompanied by Hades, which caused her whole staff to watch her in fear.  
Sure, her dog was an imposing animal, but completely harmless unless provoked. Or if someone were to actively threaten her.  
Of course her employees didn’t need to know that.

Emma had suggested somewhen during the week that Regina should come right over after work, hence why she decided to bring Hades to work because it would save her an unnecessary trip all the way through town to pick him up later.  
Regina was eager to see Emma and the children because she missed them more with each day that went by.It was crazy, really, and she didn’t understand how it was possible, but she had decided not to question it any longer.  
Somehow she had not only fallen in love with Emma Swan, but had also come to love these children.

Thank God Roland was okay and recovering nicely because if that phone call after his accident had shown her one thing it was how much she truly cared.  
About all of them.

Her morning was busy and she tried to get her work done as fast as possible in hopes of leaving at a decent hour while Hades slept on the couch in her office without a care in the world.  
Maybe she should bring him to work more often.

Shorty after 1 pm her secretary showed up with what Regina assumed was a bag of food and, to her even bigger surprise treats for Hades, and she found herself awfully confused because she hadn’t ordered anything.  
But she made a mental note to reward Jacinda for being attentive enough to get treats for her dog because the gesture did mean a lot to Regina.

“I hope you don’t mind me getting treats for your dog, Miss Mills”, the young woman announced nervously and Regina shook her head, “Not at all. That’s actually very nice of you. Thank you.”

Hades was watching the two women with interest, but couldn’t be bothered to move.

“Our dog really loves those, so I hope your dog likes them as well”, Jacinda added with a small smile.

It dawned on Regina that she didn’t know the first thing about the woman who worked so closely with her. Other than that her husband was in the army.  
“What kind of dog do you have?”, she asked, honestly interested, which seemed to surprise her secretary.

“A…a German Shepherd. Her name is Evora.”

“Is she good with other dogs? Because if so you can bring her along as I’m considering taking Hades to the office more often”, Regina commented and wasn’t sure why she had done it. Was she insane? Since when did she care about her employees and their families. Then again she always had a soft spot for dogs.

Jacinda stared at her in disbelief, clearly not expecting an offer like that, “Y-yeah. She’s…she is a sweetheart.”

“Well, that’s settled then”, Regina said simply, about to open the bag and glance inside.

“Uh…Miss Midas said to tell you to wait with lunch…”

Confusion washed over Regina’s face, “Kathryn? What else did she say?”

Jacinda shifted her weight from one leg to the other and beg, getting more and more nervous, “She just said to wait. For what I don’t know. And she made me re-schedule some of your appointments.”

“SHE WHAT?! And you just let her?!”, Regina jumped up from her seat, Hades following suit, alert and focused in the blink of an eye like the good dog he was, “If you ever touch my schedule again…I don’t care what Kathryn says. And what is the meaning of all this? What I’m supposed to wait for?”  
Her rage threatened to consume her, but then Regina heard someone knocking on the doorframe to make their presence known. She was about to bark at, who she suspected to be Kathryn, when Hades dashed off in the direction of the door, seemingly excited and the next thing Regina saw was Emma.

Emma, who waved at her shyly, “Don’t be mad at Kat. She was trying to help.”

“Emma.”

It was literally all Regina could say. All she could think off.  
Emma was here.

“Yep, that would be me”, the blonde chuckled, “And if I’m not completely mistaken we are supposed to have lunch together.”  
She pointed at the bag, slightly amused by Regina’s confusion.

“Of course”, Regina nodded dumbfounded before she addressed her secretary, “I apologize for yelling. You may take the rest of the day off, Jacinda. I can handle my last appointment later by myself.”

“Actually…your schedule is clear for the rest of the day”, Jacinda almost whispered, fearing another outburst while she tried to wrap her head around what as happening because Regina Mills did not apologize.

Regina pinched the bridge of her nose, “Let me guess? Kathryn’s doing?”

Jacinda only nodded.

“Very well then. Have a lovely weekend. I’ll see you and your dog Monday morning.”  
With that she dismissed her fearful secretary, who was smart enough to close the door behind her.

And as soon as it clicked shut Emma was in front of her, pulling her into a bone crushing hug, “I've missed you.”

Regina couldn’t help, but smile, her foul mood long forgotten, “I've missed you too.”

Hades was standing next to Emma, his whole body shaking with excitement, causing the blonde to chuckle, “I take it he missed me too.”

“Obviously”, Regina couldn’t help, but smile even more.

Emma took Regina’s hands and squeezed them, “So, there’s been a change of plans.”

Her heart instantly fell because Regina was pretty sure it couldn’t mean anything good. Would she only get lunch instead of a weekend together? Worse?  
Oh God.

“Ruby and Dorothy are staying with the kids tonight because they promised them some Disney marathon before Dorothy left to help out at her family’s in Kansas. Which means I’m free today. Kathryn sent me home or well…more like over here”, Emma admitted sheepishly, “So in case you want to spend some time with me…just me…that would be an option.”

And because Regina didn’t know what to say she simply pulled Emma close and kissed her with everything she had because it was the only thing that made sense to her in that moment.

\-------------

Emma filled her in on everything that had happened that week over lunch and Regina was listening gladly although most of what Emma had to report had to do with the children.  
Who would have guessed that she would ever care about play dates, school projects and the like?

Afterwards Regina packed up her laptop and some folders she wanted to read over on the weekend, put everything in her bag and they left while most of her staff stared with wide eyes once again because they had never seen Regina smile like that before.  
And they were still intimidated by her dog.

Once they reached the elevator and Emma took Regina’s hand and intertwined their fingers everyone else in the office was dead silent, but for once Regina simply didn’t care.  
Emma was here and they could spend the day together and that was literally the only thing that mattered.

\-------------

Grocery shopping had turned into Emma chasing her through the supermarket and Regina hadn’t been able to stop herself from laughing at Emma’s childish antics, but she had also found great joy in it.

Back at the manor Regina had stored the groceries away before she had gotten changed and they had taken Hades for a long walk and she had shown Emma what had once been the Mills stables.  
She had told Emma about how much she had loved riding when she had been younger, about her steed Rocinante, about the freedom she had felt speeding over the fields.  
Good memories, that much was certain.

They had cooked dinner together which Regina had enjoyed immensely and it made her realize once more how lonely she was in that big house of hers.  
Of course it was too soon for anyone to talk about moving or anything like that, but it slowly dawned on Regina that she wouldn’t mind having Emma and the children over more often and that was something she would have to think about eventually.

Conversation over dinner had been light until Emma had asked about Daniel and while Regina had been aware that they had to talk about their respective pasts eventually she wouldn’t have expected it to be so soon. Then again there was no right time for conversations like that so she poured both of them a glass of her famous apple cider and led Emma into the living room where they were cuddled up on the couch together now and Regina tried to recount the darkest times of her life.

“Daniel was the first person I ever loved, you know? He was so down to earth and he didn’t care one bit about my family name or anything. The only thing he constantly worried about was that he wouldn’t be good enough for me and my parents didn’t help the matter by making him feel that he wasn’t welcome. It took me a long time to convince them that they couldn’t stop me from being with him. God, we fought so much for so long, my parents and I, but then, one day, my mother’s horse went completely nuts and he jumped onto Rocinante and chased after her. He saved her although he had treated him badly for as long as she had known him and…things changed after that. Since he was a farmer’s son and was good with horses my mother gave him a job at the stables and eventually he ran them by himself. He was such a patient man, a kind man. And I loved him so much”, Regina looked at Emma through her freshly fallen tears, “And then the accident happened and he was gone. I fell apart and it took me a while to get back on my feet. Had it not been for Kathryn and my mother…I probably would have never recovered.”

Emma squeezed her hand encouragingly, “You would have. You’re so much stronger than you think, Regina. But I’m truly sorry for your loss.”

“Losing my father was hard, but it wasn’t exactly a surprise considering how much he drank. His body simply gave up on him at some point. But losing my mother…I was lost for so long. I still am at times. She’s always had Dobermans, always. But she usually had two, not just one. I think I told you that she got me Hades and that makes me love him even more. He’s the last thing that’s left of her. The fact that she picked him for me…it’s…it means a lot.”

Emma nodded in understanding, “I get that.”

“I haven’t dated much ever since Daniel died”, Regina blurted out all of a sudden, not even sure why, “I mean I did go on a date here and there, but most of it was casual. Nothing ever lasted. A lot of people simply find me too awkward. And because I wasn’t interested in any kind of long-term commitment.”

Emma studied her for a while, “And now?”

Regina pulled her even closer and kissed her temple, “I met you. And everything changed because I really want this…us…to go somewhere. Together. As a. As a family.”

A bright smile appeared on Emma’s face and she turned in Regina’s arms to face her properly, “I want that too. I just hope it won’t get too much for you with the kids and all. I know that they can be a handful.”

“It will be fine”, Regina replied with as much confidence as she could muster, but she knew right away that Emma wasn’t all that convinced and she couldn’t even blame her.  
Considering her history and their story Regina probably would doubt herself as well if she would be in Emma’s position.

“Can I ask you something?”, Regina looked at Emma nervously, but the blonde only nodded.

“How many foster homes did you have?”

Emma closed her eyes and took a deep breath, seemingly struggling to answer.

“If you don’t feel like talking about it”, Regina started to regret asking, but Emma silenced her with a gentle kiss.

“No, it’s alright. I was in two different group homes till I was around four. Then the Swans came and took me home. That’s how I got my name. Eventually had their own baby though and then I was in the way. So they sent me back. I was seven then. And after that I was in seven foster families before I ended up at the group home again when I was twelve. I had another five foster families after that. The last one was the worst though and then I ran…till I met Ingrid”, Emma rattled it off as if it would be nothing while Regina’s heart sank.

“Not all of the families were bad. I mean most of them only had us as a meal ticket, but it was okay. No gifts, no new clothes or that kind of stuff, but we had food and a roof over our heads, so what was there to complain? A slap here and there or a day or two without food, but that wasn’t so bad, you know? But of course there was always trouble because in most families we were too many kids and there was conflict and since I was the last one to move in I was the first one to get sent away. But that last family…I was a teenager already and that guy couldn’t keep his hands to himself. And every time I refused to touch him or let him touch me…he punished me. That’s why I have so many burn marks from his cigarettes. Wife was always high so she didn’t care. And he kept coming back time and time again and the more I tried to fight him…he liked that even more.”

“Did he ever…”, Regina didn’t dare to finish the sentence.

Tears were streaming down Emma’s face at this point, “He sure did try. One night I woke up and he was lying on top of me, his hand in my pants and…I kicked him so hard and we struggled for a while, but he was drunk and in the end I managed to escape. With cracked ribs and bruises, but I did make it out of that house. And then I ran and never looked back.”

Regina pulled Emma as close as she could manage, holding her, kissing the tears away while Emma silently cried and her heart broke for the woman in her arms once again.  
How Emma had turned out to be the kind and decent human being she was would forever stay a mystery to Regina, but it made her love Emma all the more.


	17. An outstanding boy

**E** mma woke up to Regina snuggled into her side, arm protectively wrapped around Emma’s waist and she couldn’t help, but smile.  
Talking about her past in the foster system was something she tried to avoid whenever she could, but telling Regina had been important to her because Emma was well aware that the only chance for a future together would be if both of them would put the cards on the table.  
All of them.  
To understand one another better. 

She still wasn’t convinced that things with Regina could work out and it wasn’t even Regina’s fault or the fact that Regina had stated during that fateful date that she didn’t want to have children.  
It was so much more than that. It had a lot to do with her being shoved around all her life, with never being good enough for people so they would keep her.  
Why should things be different with Regina of all people?  
Regina, who was so sophisticated and wealthy, who ran a successful company and who was used to a lifestyle Emma could only dream of.

Of course she knew that strangers things have happened, but Emma had never been particularly lucky in life and she had a hard time accepting that everything could finally work out for her.  
It couldn’t be that easy, could it?

Before she could get caught up on her not so positive thoughts Regina stirred beside her, a smile on her face as soon as she blinked her eyes open and caught sight of Emma right next to her.

“Good morning, darling.”  
Regina’s voice was raspy and low and her eyes sparkled in delight because Emma was lying next to her.

“Morning”, Emma mumbled, lost in warm, brown eyes and the feeling of safety she felt in that moment.  
She soaked it up like a sponge because it was such a foreign concept to Emma that another person could really make her feel like that.  
Other than the kids.

It was a bit scary, but it also gave her hope and she prayed with all her might that her faith wouldn’t be misplaced this time.

\-------------

Their morning had been spent with slow kisses and cuddling in bed, enjoying every moment and each others presence until Hades had appeared right next to the bed to stare at them expectantly.

Emma had laughed at his unimpressed expression of not being fed yet and even Regina had chuckled at his antics, but they had gotten up anyway.  
Emma to take Hades outside while Regina had prepared breakfast.

About an hour later they had left the Mills Estate to go grocery shopping and once that had been accomplished they drove over to Emma’s house where Lily was already waiting for them at the door.

“Ginaaaaa!”

She came running as soon as she caught sight of them and Regina laughed as the little girl flung herself at her, too excited to slow down, and Regina struggled to get a proper hold on her.  
Lily smiled her brightest smile and wrapped her arms around Regina’s next, “Gina, you’re back! I’ve missed you.”

And while the worries hadn’t disappeared Emma still smiled because the sight was simply too cute and it warmed her heart that Regina was truly making an effort with her kids.  
It meant so much to her that Regina was willing to give this a real try and be open-minded and caring although the woman’s life plan hadn’t included kids up until a few months ago.

She carried the groceries inside and found Ruby and Dorothy sitting inside a pillow fort in the living room together with Neal, Alexandra and Roland.  
Emma laughed at the sight, making her presence known and Neal instantly jumped up to greet her.

“I see you had fun”, she stated with a smile.

Ruby grinned, “Oh, you have no idea. Hope you had a great time as well?”

“Yeah. It’s been lovely.”

“I’m glad”, Dorothy grinned at her, “Hey Em.”

“Thank God you are back. Don’t ever leave for Kansas without her again”, Emma pointed towards Ruby, “She’s such a lost and lovesick puppy without you…it’s not even funny.”

“I’m not!”, Ruby protested, but it only caused Emma to laugh out loud.

“Hey!”, Ruby huffed in annoyance, but then Dorothy kissed her on the cheek and she instantly went quiet.  
——————

Emma was in the kitchen putting the groceries away together with Alexandra when Henry appeared in the doorframe, “Hey kid! How are you?”

“Good. I’m good. Do you think it would be okay if I asked Regina for help because I can’t really figure out my math homework”, Henry asked shyly, “I mean I know she is only here on the weekends and I don’t want to bother anyone, but…”

“It’s okay, Henry. You know I hate Maths, but Regina should be fairly good with numbers all things considered. And of course you can ask her, but if she doesn’t want to help you have to accept that too”, Emma replied with an encouraging smile.

“Of course.”

\-------------

Ruby and Dorothy had stayed for a while longer, playing with the kids and Hades in the garden.  
Emma had wanted to clean up the living room, but then Regina had let it slip that she had never seen a pillow fort in her life and so they had agreed upon that they would have another movie night in the evening and that said fort would stay until then.

When Henry had finally approached Regina about his Math problem she had agreed to help out readily, without a moment of hesitation and Henry had beamed at her in gratitude.  
And that was how Regina found herself sitting in the boy’s room studying a Math book.  
Who would have guessed that she would ever worry about things like homework again?

“It’s great to have you here, you know? And not just because you are helping me out”, Henry said all of a sudden and Regina looked up in surprise.

He rubbed his neck in embarrassment, “We all love Emma. She’s really great. But I know it’s hard for her to do everything by herself. I mean we are five after all. Ever since we came to live with Ingrid it’s always just been one person trying to do right by all of us. What I’m trying to say is…it’s nice to have a second…well, a second grown-up around, I guess.”

Regina didn’t really know what to say, “Henry, I…”

“Don’t worry…I won’t start calling you mom or anything. But I do like you. And Emma likes you. A lot. She is a lot happier although she’s sad when you aren’t here. She’s still happier and I’m glad that you do kinda like us after all.”

“I’m glad as well because you are great children. Don’t ever doubt that, Henry. And I like Emma too. A lot. And I promise I’m not just nice to you because I care about her. I care about all of you”, Regina reassured, “Emma and I had a bit of a talk last night. About her time in the system.”  
She didn’t know how much Henry knew about it, but he certainly had to know about some of it and yet Regina didn’t want to overstep or overshare, so she decided not to go into more detail, “I do understand that all of you have your insecurities and fears because of your experiences. It has to be hard to go from home to home and…”

“It’s a nightmare. The first time is the hardest. It hurts the most”, Henry admitted, “But eventually you start to expect it and you get numb. It helps that most foster parents don’t care all that much in the first place. It makes it easier not to get attached. Losing Ingrid was bad, but Emma fought like a lion. For all of us. And while she’s only our foster mother…it feels like we are a real family, you know?”

“I do”, Regina nodded, “She really is a remarkable woman.”

“If you ever have a problem with one of us or if you get overwhelmed by…well, all of this”, Henry dropped his gaze to his hands, “Can you talk to me before you…just don’t walk out on us without giving us a chance to fix it…okay?”

It broke Regina’s heart to see Henry’s defeated posture.  
She squeezed his forearm in an attempt to get his attention, but he didn’t look at her.

“Henry…”

He took a hesitant glimpse in her direction before he dropped his gaze again, “Don’t think I’m not grateful for everything I have, Regina. And for Emma and for everything she does for me. For all of us. But sometimes I wish I could just have a normal life with two loving parents, you know? Like most of my classmates. Because all the moving around, the different schools..it’s hard to make real friends when you never stick around long enough to actually get to know anyone. I know I’m wanted here. And so are you. We want you here, Regina. We might never be a conventional family, but I’m tired of seeing people go.”

“And I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say any of this out loud. It’s just been a strange morning.”  
He ducked his head even further, but Regina couldn’t watch his misery any longer and she simply stood up and pulled the upset boy into a hug.

“I’m not going anywhere, Henry. I promise.”

And deep down Regina knew that she would move heaven and hell to never break that promise because Emma and her children had become such a big part of her life in such a short amount of time and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

\-------------

Once the dreadful homework had been dealt with Regina had started to prepare dinner with Henry’s help.  
Emma had shot her a questioning look, but Regina had only smiled, signalling the blonde that everything was fine.  
Of course she was surprised that Henry had taken to her the way he had, but she got where the boy was coming from.  
Loss changed everyone. Regina did know a thing or two about that.  
——

Dinner had been followed by watching “Brave” and “Frozen” in the pillow fort - all seven of them.  
Regina hadn’t thought that they would all fit into said fort, but with Neal sitting in Emma’s lap and Lily in hers, they had made it work.  
It hadn’t been perfect, but comfortable enough.

Henry had taken Hades outside while Emma and Regina had tucked the children in - Emma the boys and Regina the girls.  
She had to admit that she enjoyed reading bedtime stories to Alexandra and Lily, but Regina couldn’t help, but wonder where her sudden want to be a part of a family had come from.  
Had it always been there?  
Why had she never felt that way when it came to Zelena, who was her sister after all?  
Maybe she should call her one of these days.

When she came back into the living room she caught sight of Henry playing with Hades, causing Regina to smile.Henry never drew the dog’s attention to himself while the other children were around, but now that he didn’t have to share with anyone he made good use of the opportunity.  
It was a bit of a surprise that the boy never asked for anything for himself and Regina made a mental note to talk to Emma about that because Henry was ever the helpful boy, ready to jump to everyone’s aid, but she feared that he did it at his own expense because clearly he was struggling with a few things himself.

“If you want you can take him with you and he can sleep in your room”, Regina stated and walked into the room fully, making her presence known.

Henry looked at her in surprise, “Really?”

“Really.

\-------------

When Emma returned to the living room Regina was lying in the pillow fort by herself, lost in thought.

“Is everything alright?”

Regina simply patted the spot next to her and waiting for Emma to lay down beside her.  
Once they were face to face Regina smiled, “Everything is fine. I was just thinking.”

“I could see that. Wanna share?”

Regina nodded, “Henry.”

Emma looked at her in alarm, “What about Henry?”

“It’s nothing bad”, Regina assured and took Emma’s hands in hers, “I was just wondering if we should do something nice for him because he’s always helping out, always putting everyone else first. He never asks for anything and considering that he is a teenager I find that amazing. He's an outstanding boy.”

“He is. And you are right”, Emma sighed, “I’m worried about him. It was hard for him to lose Ingrid. And he really is a great help with the kids and around the house. He acts so grown up all the time, but he’s still a kid.”

“I just saw him play with Hades and it dawned on me that he never does that when the others are around because then they want to play with him and Henry is always in the background, just making sure everything runs smoothly. I hope I’m not overstepping here, but…”, Regina’s own insecurity showed, but Emma only smiled and kissed her softly.

“You care and I couldn't have asked for more, Regina. Because these kids mean the world to me. And it makes me so happy that you want to be there for them as well. And that you are so considerate. We’ll find something to show Henry how much we appreciate him.”

And then she kissed Regina again, lying in the pillow fort in the living room and Regina smiled into the kiss because it was the most juvenile thing she had ever done, but it was perfect all the same.


	18. A friendly intervention

**T** hey had fallen asleep in the fort like teenagers, but somehow Regina didn’t mind.  
Ever since Emma had come into her life she felt lighter and more carefree than she had in years, simply because Emma had never considered her awkward like so many others.

She took a shower while Emma started breakfast and when she returned to the kitchen, hair still damp, the blonde simply pulled her close and kissed her soundly.  
Regina revelled in this moments because she felt so cherished and loved and wanted and while it was such a stark contrast to her usually cold and lonely life it didn’t freak her out as much as she thought it would.  
Being with Emma, even being with the children, felt surprisingly natural and Regina felt immensely grateful because she wasn’t sure if things could work out otherwise.

“I thought about what you said last night”, Emma whispered, “Maybe we can take Henry to the movies sometime next week to watch the new Star Wars? He’s a big fan.”

Regina smiled, “I don’t have the first clue about it, but if you don’t mind that I’m in.”

Emma laughed out loud, “Nah. That’s fine. Kid’s going to explain it all to you. I’ve seen a few of the movies, but I’m far from an expert. Henry though…”

“I see. Star Wars it is then. Which day did you have in mind?”

Emma looked at her hesitantly, “I know how busy you are, but…I texted Ruby while you were in the shower and she said the only day she could watch the kids is Thursday. But if that’s a problem we can go another week or Henry and I can go alone or...”

Regina shook her head, “Thursday it is. Maybe we can have dinner at the diner since I’ve heard so much about it. I want to know what all the fuss is about.”

Emma kissed her quickly, “That’s a fabulous idea! You are amazing, Regina. You know that, right?”

She ducked her head as the blush crept up her neck all the way to her ears and cheeks, “I’m nothing special, Emma.”

But Emma only smiled at her, eyes sparkling and squeezed Regina’s hand gently, “Sure you are.”  
And the conviction in her voice left no room for doubt - she truly meant it.

\-------------

They had taken Hades for a walk together after breakfast and the kids had enjoyed every minute of it.  
All in all, it had been an easy going day and Regina had hated to leave and return to her empty manor, but it had to be that way and she knew that it wouldn’t change anytime soon.

Their trip to the movies with Henry the next week had been a full-blown success and the boy had been so grateful. The gratitude had literally shone out of his eyes which had led Regina to invite the whole family to the zoo on the weekend.

It had been slightly chaotic, but seeing the joy on the children’s faces had been worth it.  
And so September had gone by with busy weeks at work and family time on the weekends and while it wasn’t ideal Regina was thankful for what she had.  
And so was Emma.  
They both wanted more, but they were well aware that it was too soon to make any life-altering decisions just yet.  
It would be madness to even consider it, wouldn’t it?

\-------------

October was around the corner and Emma couldn’t do lunch that Tuesday because she had an appointment with one of Henry’s teachers to talk about some extra classes he was interested in taking.

To Regina’s surprise Kathryn had shown up with lunch in her office instead, not that Regina would ever complain because they didn’t see all that much of one another lately with Regina spending the weekends at Emma’s.

“Happy looks good on you, Mills”, Kathryn stated and smiled, glad that her best friend finally seemed to have found the happiness she deserved.

“Thanks, Kat. I can’t believe how much life has changed in such a short amount of time.”  
Regina sounded almost shy as she said it.

Kathryn swallowed a bite of her pasta, “But that’s good, isn’t it?”

“Yes. Yes, of course. I just…Emma’s birthday is coming up and I. I would love to take her to dinner. But the children. I don’t want them to think I don’t want them around. And I certainly don’t want Emma to think that. It’s just…it’s her birthday and I would like to do something nice for her”, Regina admitted hesitantly.

Kathryn looked at her sympathetically, “I’m sure if you talk to Emma about it she’ll understand and I’m pretty sure she’d love to have some time alone with you. Just because you want a couple of hours to yourself doesn’t mean you don’t like those kids. Surely it’s not going to be a problem.”

“I just don’t want to mess it all up by being selfish”, Regina sighed, “Because things are going so well for once and I…I really don’t want to lose any of them.”

\-------------

Regina was instantly cornered by Henry and Ruby when she arrived at Emma’s on Friday and she felt a little overwhelmed, but once they assured her that nothing was wrong she managed to calm down enough to listen.

“So, what are you plans for Emma’s birthday next week?”, Henry asked, a smirk on his face.

“I…uh…I was going to talk to all of you about that tonight. I thought maybe we could cook dinner for Emma together and….”, Regina said weakly.

“Thank God you have me”, Henry interrupted, causing Ruby to laugh out loud.

Regina looked at the both of them in confusion, “Did I say something wrong?”

Ruby was still laughing, so Henry slapped her own the arm, “Be serious, Rubes. Regina clearly needs help. This is a serious matter.”  
And then he burst out laughing as well.

Regina was close to snapping because she felt irritated, but then Ruby squeezed her arm encouragingly, “What the kid is trying to tell you is…you need to come up with a plan for Emma’s birthday because there will be a party for her at the diner Friday evening, but then you guys are free for the weekend. Dorothy and I are staying with the kids because surely you want to spend some time with Emma as well. Just the two of you, don’t you?”

She didn’t like the knowing smirk on Ruby’s face, especially because it caused her to blush, but then Regina caught sight of the understanding look on Henry’s face and she nodded slowly, “That would be…lovely. But I don’t want…I don’t want you to feel like I don’t want to celebrate with all of you or…”

The bright smile that grew on Henry’s face was almost blinding, “No worries. We do understand. And we all know by now that you love us, Regina. That doesn’t mean that you can’t have a day or two with Emma here and there where you don’t have to worry about all of us.”

“Okay. I just didn’t want to assume”, Regina admitted, hating how insecure she sounded.

“I’ll go check on Hades in the garden. And what the rest of the gang is up to”, Henry jumped up and left Regina to deal with Ruby by herself.

“You know”, Ruby began, a wolfish grin on her face, “When I first met you at that barbecue I wasn’t sure what Emma saw in you. But I do now. Because you truly are one of a kind, Regina Mills. And seeing you care about the kids so much…I know how much that means to Emma.”

Regina’s blush only intensified, “They are wonderful. All of them.”

“That they are”, Ruby sighed, “I couldn’t imagine it back then when Em told me that she would take over when Ingrid…I thought she had gone nuts. It was a really hard time for her and I should have been there.”

Regina watched her warily and Ruby instantly rose her hands in surrender, “No, no. I don’t. I don’t want her back, no worries. Not that I would stand a snowflake’s chance in hell because Em only has eyes for you. And I have Dorothy and I love her with all my heart. I just mean I shouldn’t have left her hanging the way I did back then, you know? We wouldn’t have worked out in the long run, even without the kids. We both always knew that. It was good while it lasted and that was that. But I should have helped Emma more than I did back then.”

“You came around in the end and that’s all that matters I would assume”, Regina replied, unsure what to say. She didn’t have much experience in friendly interactions with people who weren’t Kathryn. Or Emma. But that was a different story altogether.

“Yeah, I guess”, Ruby agreed, “When Emma and I first met she was such a broken soul and I know she is still. I always wanted her to be happy and no matter how hard I tried I never quite achieved that.”  
She turned her head to meet Regina’s eyes, “But she is now, Regina. With you. No one has ever seen her as happy as she is since she’s met you. And when she told me that you didn’t like kids…she was so defeated. What I’m trying to say is…I’m really glad that things worked out for you guys. For all of you really because foster kids or not…you make quite the family, the eight of you. And Dorothy and I will do anything to help out when you need a break because let’s be real…with five kids everyone needs a break here and there.”

Regina nodded hesitantly, “Thank you.”

\-------------

They had spent the next hour talking about the party at the diner and Ruby had filled her in on the details which had made Regina feel included and welcome.  
It had eased her worries and knowing that the children would be alright if she would plan something just for Emma had her thrilled.

“So, do you have an idea for Emma’s birthday or do you need help?”, Ruby asked once they were done with the planning.

“I think I’ve got it covered”, Regina smiled, “But thanks for offering your help. If I end up needing advice I will…”

Ruby grabbed a piece of paper, wrote her number down and shoved it towards Regina, “You’ll call me. If you ever need anything…babysitter or otherwise. I’m just a text or a call away, okay?”

Regina folded the paper in the middle, fidgeting with it, “Okay.”  
It was such a foreign concept to her that people offered their friendship like that, but she was glad that Emma’s best friend didn’t despise her.

“Tell me you aren’t hitting on my girlfriend, Lucas!”, Emma entered the kitchen with a mock glare.

Regina and Ruby almost jumped because they hadn’t heard her coming in through the front door to begin with.

“I don’t have a death wish, Swan”, Ruby fired back playfully, but grew more serious only a moment later, “Aside from that I love Dorothy and I would never do that to you. Also…I’m pretty sure I’m not blonde enough for Regina.”

Regina couldn’t help, but chuckle at the comment, “That would be correct, Miss Lucas.”

Emma laughed out loud at their antics before she made the few steps over to were Regina was sitting and bent down to greet her with a loving kiss, “Hi. I’ve missed you.”

Ruby cleared her throat and got up, “And that’s my cue to leave. See you, Em.”

“Thanks for watching the kids”, Emma gave Ruby a hug and smiled, “Don’t be a stranger, Rubes. Why don’t you and Dorothy come over for brunch on Sunday?”  
She looked at Regina for a moment, who nodded in agreement, and then back to Ruby.

“Sure. Why not. We haven’t done that in forever”, Ruby chuckled in amusement, “God, how grown up we’ve become. We are making brunch plans now.”

“Get out, you goof”, Emma laughed, just as amused, “Before I change my mind.”

“Alright, alright.”  
And then Ruby was gone.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I brought takeout from the Chinese restaurant down the street since I came home so late. I don’t want to waste the rest of the evening cooking”, Emma admitted sheepishly.

Regina got up and wrapped her arms around Emma’s neck, “That was a great idea, darling. Why don’t you tell the children to come inside while I get the plates out?”

“In a minute. Because first I’m going to kiss you properly. Any complaints?”

“Not at all.”


	19. A birthday to remember

**T** he weekend had been over way too fast once again, but luckily the following week had flown by as well.  
Regina had expected Kathryn to go to Emma’s birthday party with her, but she had learned that her best friend wouldn’t even be in town that weekend.  
Whatever that woman was up to these days was a mystery to Regina.  
She suspected that it could have to do with a new man in Kathryn’s life, but so far the media mogul hadn’t said a word on the matter of her absence.  
It unnerved Regina that Kathryn seemed to be keeping a secret from her these days because she had never done that before.  
It bothered her even more because she had been so open and honest about everything with Emma from the get-go, which was quite the rarity.

Regina knew that she couldn’t dwell on it right then because she had a party to attend to and she would be damned if she would be late.

Surprisingly enough she was one of the first guests to arrive at the diner - except for Ruby, Dorothy and Mary Margaret.  
David had been instructed to pick up Emma and the children, but they weren’t due for another half hour.

Ruby dragged Regina to the side and handed her a duffel bag, “Henry and I packed an overnight bag for Emma earlier.”

Regina took it and nodded, but couldn’t help the blush that spread on her face, “Thank you, Miss Lucas. I’ll put it in the car then. I’ll be right back.”

Ruby chuckled and watched a flustered Regina Mills rush to the door and yelled after her, “Not a problem. And it’s Ruby!”

\-------------

Emma had been completely overwhelmed by the effort of her friends. August had called over Skype and had promised to come visit soon. Mulan, whom Emma hadn’t seen since forever, had been the surprise guest and the blonde had been thrilled.  
Regina had kept in the background mostly because she knew she would have her time with Emma for the rest of the weekend and so she had watched Emma mingle while she had ended up playing Monopoly with Henry, Roland and Alexandra while Lily had sat in her lap, telling everyone who walked by that this was _her_ Gina.

She had shared a few secret smiles with Henry and Emma had stopped by every so often to make sure that all of them were doing alright.  
Eventually Margaret and Elsa had joined them as well and while Regina would never be too fond of the perky, pixie-haired woman the conversation was at least bearable this time. Probably because she didn’t get interrogated again.

It was close to 10 pm when they decided to call it a night because Neal had fallen asleep with his head on the table and Lily was dozing off while she clung to Regina like a koala bear.

To Emma’s great surprise Henry took her to the back of the diner and Regina watched them talk for a few minutes while Emma’s smile grew brighter and brighter and it warmed Regina’s heart to see how happy Emma was to get to spend time with her alone.

Henry hugged Emma tightly and then he came over to hug Regina as well, “You better make sure she as an awesome weekend.”  
He said it teasingly, but Regina felt the need to reassure him still.

She squeezed his forearm gently and locked eyes with the boy, “I will try my very best.”  
And _I hope it will be enough_ added itself in her mind, but Henry, ever the smart kid, must have caught on as well.

And he just smiled at Regina, all confident and no doubt, “You are aware that Emma doesn’t care what you do as long as you are with her, right?”

Regina hugged the boy once again, so grateful for his unwavering support and faith in her because she was well aware that Henry had a huge part in things running so smoothly for all of them.

She wanted to say something, but lacked the right words and then Emma stood next to her, all smiles, eyes sparkling with pure joy, “Ready to go, Miss Mills?”

\-------------

Regina lit a fire in the fireplace as soon as they arrived at the manor because it had gotten chilly quite early this year while Emma played catch with Hades, who was too excited for his own good, but Regina couldn’t bring herself to reprimand him. Or Emma for that matter.  
The blonde’s childlike antics were kinda adorable after all.

“Wine?”

Emma looked at her and nodded, “That would be nice.”  
She didn't have a drop of alcohol at the party because she didn't want to drink in front of the kids, but now she could induldge a little.

Regina left for the kitchen and returned a few moments later, two glasses of red wine in hand, and found Emma sitting on the couch, seemingly happy and relaxed.

She put the glasses on the couch table, but before Regina could give a single thought to were to sit Emma pulled her into her arms and kisses her gently.

“Thank you so much.”

Regina looked at her in confusion, “For what, darling? I haven’t even given you your present yet.”

Emma put a kiss right next to her ear, “It can wait. Thank you for being here. For taking care of the kids tonight. For everything really. Mostly for being the incredible person you are.”

Regina blushed furiously, “I told you. I’m nothing…”

She was silenced with a slow, but passionate kiss before she could have finished her sentence.  
When Emma finally pulled back her eyes were shining with love and adoration and the sight made Regina gasp.

“Emma, I have to ask you something”, Regina blurted out and cursed herself only a moment later.  
Why would she bring this up now? Why couldn’t she keep her mouth shut. This weekend was supposed to be relaxing and fun, not all heavy talk and serious business.

“Sure”, Emma turned to face her fully and smiled, “What is it?”

Regina knew she shouldn’t, but all of a sudden she felt so insecure because everything seemed so “perfect” and she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. And all of a sudden she understood how Emma must be feeling all the time.  
She had been thinking about their whole situation a lot the last couple of weeks, especially during the weeknights when she had been by herself and Regina needed to know if they were going somewhere after all.

Emma watched Regina struggle for words and took her hands, squeezing them gently, “Whatever it is, you can tell me, Regina.”

“I’m. It’s just. I’ve been thinking”, Regina started, her hands shaking, “I’m aware that it’s too early to make any kinds of decision, but I need to know that we are going somewhere I guess. Don’t think I’m not happy, Emma. But will it always be like that? That we only see each other on the weekends? And for lunch on Tuesdays, if we can manage? I mean I’m glad we have at least that, but…”

“Regina, breathe”, Emma squeezed her hands again, “I get what you mean. I wish things would be easier and that you could stay over more often, but I know why that isn’t possible. And bringing the kids over doesn’t really work either with school and everything, but I was thinking too. It’s just…as you said. Too soon for decisions like that. And to be honest…I don’t even know what a solution could look like. But I hope that we can figure it out eventually because I do want things to work out between us, Regina. I do.”

Regina nodded, “Do you still think I’ll ditch you for someone without children?”

Emma sighed, “That’s not it. Not at all. Regina, please know that I’m not doubting you. It’s nothing personal. It’s just…nothing in my life has ever worked out in my favour, you know? I know that you care about me and the children and I also know that it’s real and honest. I don’t doubt your feelings for a second, please know that. But life is unpredictable and I really am hoping, with all my heart, that this once fate will be kind and not rip it all away again, but it’s hard not to let my fears get the better of me after getting abandoned and thrown out with the trash so often.”

She pulled Emma closer then, simply because Regina’s heart broke every time Emma allowed her a glimpse into her past, “I’ve dealt with my share of loss, Emma, so I do understand. I’m really scared that I’ll lose you too. All of you. What I’m struggling with more though…”  
Regina took a deep breath because it was hard for her to admit to such weakness, “People usually find me too harsh, too awkward, too career driven. Cold hearted. Unapproachable. I just don’t understand that someone as kind as you are…what you could ever see in me.”

Emma got up without a word and held out her hand for Regina, who looked at her in confusion, “Emma?”

The blonde nodded towards her hand and so Regina took it and let herself be led upstairs, the wine on the couch table still untouched.

\-------------

When Regina heard the bedroom door close behind her she wasn’t sure what to expect because Emma was so awfully quiet, but before she could worry or get caught up in her thoughts she was pushed onto the bed carefully and then Emma was kissing her and nothing else mattered.

Regina was breathing hard by the time Emma finally pulled away, equally out of breath and the most beautiful smile on her face. Half of their clothes had found the way to the floor by then and they were headed for unknown territory. It had been an unspoken agreement between them that they had to take things slow for everyone’s sake and Regina didn’t want to push Emma, especially considering her horrendous past in the system. But Emma just kept smiling at her and pulled Regina closer and closer still until they were tangled together from head to toe.

“Regina?”

“Hm?”

Emma’s fingertips ghosted over her back soft and gentle and barely there and yet it was enough to set Regina’s skin on fire.

“I’m going to make love to you now”, Emma whispered, “To show you how much I appreciate you. And how much you mean to me.”

\-------------

Regina woke up to Emma studying her and couldn’t help, but smile.  
They had spent the bigger part of the night loving each other and if Regina was honest it had left her speechless.  
Nobody had ever touched her the way Emma had. With a gentleness that was completely foreign to her. In a way that had brought every fibre of her body to life and had made her feel like the most precious being in the universe.  
Touching Emma, on the other hand, had felt like so much and Regina didn’t have words for that either. It had been everything she had ever dreamed of and so much more and there was no doubt left in Regina’s mind that Emma was _the one_.

They would make this work because now that she had gotten a taste of what being with Emma, really being with her, meant Regina was craving more.

“Good morning, darling”, she rasped out and got a kiss in return.  
She hummed happily and stretched her deliciously sore body, well aware that Emma was watching her like a hawk.

“Is there something you wanted, dear?”, Regina teased, half expecting Emma to pounce on her, but nothing happened.

Except for Emma’s expression, which grew quite serious, “I want to wake up next to you more often, I just don’t know how to make it work.”

Regina grabbed Emma’s hands and held them tight, “Kathryn pushed me to finally hire an executive director. I had to let go of the one who worked under my mother because. Let’s say he was a creepy guy. And you know how hard it is to find reliable people. But Kathryn said the daughter of a friend of her father’s is looking into moving to Storybrooke and that she has ambition and is trustworthy. She’s flying in next week for a job interview…if everything turns out I might be able to stay over here and there because I wouldn’t have to be in the office so early every day.”

Emma’s eyes went wide, “Really.”

“Really.”

\-------------

They had spent another hour in bed before Regina had “escaped” to prepare breakfast. She had been tempted to join Emma in the shower, but Emma’s growling stomach had been the reason she had opted for the kitchen instead.

By the time Emma came downstairs, Hades was wearing a party hat and Emma couldn’t stop, but laugh out loud.  
She knelt down to look at the dog, who was seemingly unamused, but stoic all the same, properly and petted his back, “What did your silly momma do to you, baby boy?”

Hades huffed in annoyance, but kept sitting still like a statue.

Regina put a plate of food, scrambled eggs, bacon and pancakes, on the table before she removed the hat from her dog’s head, rewarding him with a treat, “Good boy.”

And then she addressed Emma with a smile, “Sit down and eat, darling.”

\-------------

Regina disappeared into her study for a couple of minutes once they had finished their late breakfast/lunch and returned with a box, “Happy birthday again, Emma.”

She looked rather nervous, but Emma simply tore it open only to gasp in surprise.  
Inside the box as a red leather jacket, one that looked exactly like the one she owned and loved so much. 

“You told me you couldn’t wear yours anymore because it was basically falling apart at the seams after all these years so I had my dressmaker replicate it. I hope that’s…”

Before Regina could finish her sentence Emma was kissing her breathless, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”  
The original jacket had been given to her by Ingrid the day after she had taken her in all these years ago and she had worn it every day for a long time. These days it was completely torn and stitched back together one too many times and she couldn’t wear it anymore, but Emma hadn’t been able to get rid of it either because it reminded her of Ingrid and here and there she put it on to feel close to her beloved former foster mother for a moment.

“I wasn’t sure if I was overstepping”, Regina admitted, knowing about the importance of the jacket.

But Emma only shook her head, “It’s perfect.”  
She tilted her head to study Regina once again, her smile almost blinding, “Best gift ever.”

“I’m glad you like it, darling”, Regina couldn’t help, but smile as well.

Emma chuckled and shook her head, “Not the jacket, Regina. You.”


	20. Mother material?

**E** mma and Regina had been well aware that returning to their reality of only seeing each other on the weekends would be hard after Emma’s birthday and the days that had followed.  
Days filled with joy and laughter and making love, with connecting with one another in every way possible.  
But neither of them had appreciated that it would be _that_ hard.

And although Regina had ended up hiring the woman Kathryn had suggested, Miss Tinka Bell, she couldn’t catch her breath just yet because of course Tink, as the woman preferred to be called, needed time to get the hang of everything.  
There was a lot to learn for her new executive director before Regina could even consider loosening her reigns on the company. The reigns she held with an iron grip.  
But Kathryn had been right at least - Tink was ambitious and hard-working, clever and driven. And quite impressed with Regina and everything she had achieved with Mills Industries and was grateful for the opportunity to work for her.

Emma had been hit with a wave of jealousy when she had first met Tink, which had amused Regina for quite some time, but more than that it had warmed her heart because nobody had ever been jealous before. Not where she had been concerned at least.  
Emma’s behaviour hadn’t been over the top nor had it been obsessive or weird and she had trusted Regina, who had assured her that there was absolutely nothing to worry about.  
And there hadn't been. There wasn't.

Getting to know Tink better had helped Emma a lot as well and now that they were nearing Thanksgiving things were perfectly fine.  
Except for the fact that they still didn’t have much time for one another and Regina was getting really frustrated. And so was Emma.  
Lily was truly upset whenever she had to return to her empty manor these days as well and the rest of the children didn’t look all that happy either as soon as she had to get ready to leave.

They talked on the phone every night, but it only made them long to be with one another more and Regina had a feeling that she would go stir crazy eventually.  
Something had to give and soon.

And that was how Regina ended up calling Kathryn that fateful Wednesday evening because she really needed her best friend’s help, all her recently developed secrets be damned.

\-------------

Kathryn arrived at the Mills estate about twenty minutes later despite the late hour and Regina was grateful beyond words.  
She told her about her thoughts and her plans and when Kathryn simply hugged her and told her that she would help her in any way that she could and that she was proud of Regina an invisible weight was lifted off of her shoulders.

And then Kathryn finally confessed that she had met whom she believed to be the man of her dreams - Frederick Knight.  
When Regina asked why Kathryn hadn’t told her earlier the blonde only laughed, “Regina, you were so close to driving yourself crazy enough to book rehab at an institution because of the fact that Emma has five foster kids. And I wasn’t even sure that anything could come of it and I didn’t want to jinx it. You of all people should know that.”

“You could have told me none-the-less”, Regina pouted, arms crossed in front of her chest.

“I could have, but it wasn’t important then. I was more worried about you getting your heart broken again”, Kathryn smiled sympathetically, “I’m so glad that things worked out for you and Emma. Who would have guessed you’d end up with five kids, huh?”

“Not me. That much is certain”, Regina laughed, “But now I’m very grateful that I did. You should see them, Kat. They are amazing.”

“Come to think of it”, Kathryn mused, “We should have dinner together. You, me, Emma and the kids. It’s about damn time you introduced me properly!”

Regina rolled her eyes, “You already know Emma. She works for you. Hell, you see her more often than me!”

Kathryn smirked, “That doesn’t mean you get out of this, Mills. We always introduce the significant people in our lives to one another. And before you get started on the whole Frederick topic again…he is coming to Storybrooke for the holidays and yes, you’ll meet him then. In case you’ve got time that is, considering that you are so busy these days.”

“Fine. I’ll talk to Emma and I’ll let you know when would be a good time. But I swear to God, Kathryn…don’t embarrass me!”

Kathryn only winked at her, “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

And Regina knew she was doomed because there was no one who knew her quite as well as Kathryn Midas.  
Emma maybe at this point, but she hadn’t known her all her life and Kathryn had gotten her into so much trouble during their childhood - the stories Kathryn could tell would last them a lifetime.

Then again Regina wasn’t all that worried because Emma worked for Kathryn and was therefore well aware how Kathryn ticked.  
What concerned her a lot more was what Kathryn would say once she saw all of them together.  
Because her best friend’s opinion was important and what if Kathryn told her that she thought it wouldn’t last?  
That she wasn’t mother material after all. That she had lost herself in an illusion.

What would happen then?  
Did she probably want all of this too much now and had gotten blindsided in the process?

\-------------

Emma had suggested to have Kathryn over for Thanksgiving dinner and Regina had reluctantly agreed.  
Now that she was standing in Emma’s kitchen, together with Henry, preparing food for the evening the doubts crept back in.

“Regina, is everything alright?”, Henry asked once he noticed how tense Regina was.

“I am fine”, she sighed, “Just a bit nervous I guess.”

Henry eyed her suspiciously, “Because your best friend is coming to dinner?”  
How did that make sense?   
“Do you think she won’t like us?”, his eyes went wide in horror at the thought. It would make sense, wouldn’t it? She was Regina’s best friend after all and Regina hadn't wanted kids either initially.

“No! Henry, don’t worry. Kathryn likes children. She isn’t me. I mean…I’m not that person anymore either, but back then I was and…”, Regina started to ramble, knowing full well that she should shut up before she made it worse.

“I know what you mean”, Henry assured, “But what has you so worried then? You can talk to me, you know? I’m not a kid anymore.”

Regina chuckled at the comment, “I guess I’m just worried…that she thinks I’m not good enough to, well…help to raise you. Because I never wanted a life like this before and I know it’s irrational and Kathryn isn’t judgemental like that, but still. What if I am doing a lousy job with all of you?”

“Regina”, Henry started and walked over to her, taking her hand in his own, “Please don’t freak out on me now, but I would have loved to have a mom like you. Emma as well. It’s not like I would like one of you better than the other. You are just very different people. And I like you both in your own right. Emma is more like the “big-sister-kind-of” - type. You though…you are a total mom.”

“T-thank you, Henry.”  
Regina couldn’t say more than that, too overwhelmed by the situation and everything he had just said.  
Henry would have wanted a mom like her? How was that even possible?  
But the more Regina thought about it the more she realised she wouldn’t minded having a son like Henry either.

\-------------

Lily was clinging to her like a koala as usual when Regina opened the front door to none other than Kathryn Midas while she held Lily in place with her right arm.  
Her best friend looked a little dumbfounded at the sight, but shook it off quickly to hug Regina, but Lily instantly screeched, “My Gina!”

“Is that so?”, Kathryn laughed, thoroughly amused by the little girl, who nodded and hid her face in Regina’s neck.

“Lily, sweety”, Regina rubbed circles over the girl’s back to calm her down, “Kathryn is my friend. She just wants to say ‘hello’.”

It took Lily a few moments before she glimpsed at Kathryn, “Hi.”

“Can I hug her now?”, Regina asked, convinced that issue was dealt with, but little did she know.

“No!”  
Lily sounded so resolute and her hold around Regina’s neck tightened.

“It’s fine, Regina”, Kathryn couldn’t help, but laugh even more, “Who would have guessed that it would take a kid to boss you around successfully.”

“Is everything alright?”, Emma appeared from upstairs, “Hi Kathryn. I’m glad you could make it.”

“Me too. And thanks for inviting me”, Kathryn smiled gratefully.

Emma turned toward Regina and Lily then, “What’s wrong?”

“My Gina”, Lily huffed and it dawned on Emma what the problem was.  
Lily had gotten so attached to Regina lately that she acted outright possessive at times, which had led to a long conversation between Emma and Regina about how to handle it.

Regina looked outright miserable, but nodded when her eyes met Emma’s and then she put a confused Lily on the floor and stepped forward to hug her best friend ‘hello’.

The next thing they knew Lily was throwing herself on the floor, screaming, tears streaming down her face.  
Regina’s heart shattered into a million pieces, but she knew that she wasn’t doing the little girl any favours if she would tolerate her behaviour. It would only cause problems, even with the other children.

She knelt down to grab at Lily’s hand, but the girl pulled away and screamed even more.  
“Lily, if you don’t calm down you have to go to your room.”

That only upset the little girl further, but luckily Henry came running then and scooped the girl up at lightning speed, which distracted Lily for a moment and only when they were halfway up the stairs did she start to shriek and screech again.

Regina took a deep breath and Emma squeezed her shoulder encouragingly, “It will get easier. You can go talk to her in a bit. But you know it’s the right thing to do.”

“I know.”

\-------------

The introduction to the rest of the kids had gone without much of a hitch. Neal was his shy self, but the rest of the kids took to Kathryn right away.  
Her bringing candy might have had a part in it as well.

The biggest surprise was when Neal climbed the couch and sat down in Regina’s lap as if it would be no big deal. Emma only smiled, but Regina was positively awestruck.

Henry asked a million questions because he apparently had ambitions of becoming a writer and Kathryn had been thrilled to hear that.

Dinner was about ready when Regina made her way upstairs to get Lily, who hadn’t come downstairs so far.  
She was half expecting to find the room in a mess, but to her surprise, Lily was sleeping in her bed, dried tears on her face, her plush unicorn clutched to her chest.

Regina felt guilty, she couldn’t help it, but she knew it was necessary to stop Lily’s bad behaviour before it became a real issue. She sat down at the edge of the bed and shook the little girl gently, “Honey, wake up. Dinner is ready.”

Lily instantly stirred, blinked and turned her head away, “Not hungry.”

Regina ran her fingers through the girl’s dark hair and her heart sank when Lily tried to shake her off, “Lily…”

When the little girl didn’t react Regina sighed, “Lily, can you look at me for a minute, please? I want to talk to you.”

The seconds ticked by and the silence grew heavier, but then Lily did turn around, eyes wide and hopeful and Regina took her little hand in hers, “Do you know why we sent you upstairs?”

Lily shook her head, “You are mad at me.”

“No, honey. I’m not mad at you”, Regina answered calmly, “But Kathryn is my friend. We have been friends since we were little girls. Like you. And you can’t throw a tantrum whenever you don’t get my undivided attention.”

“You are my Gina!”, Lily insisted, stubbornly so.

“I am. But that doesn’t mean I can’t talk to other people. We are. We are a family. All of us. I know you had a hard time in kindergarten, but you do have friends now, don’t you?”

Lily nodded hesitantly, “Ariel.”

“And what if I didn’t want you to talk to Ariel anymore?”, Regina asked, causing Lily to gasp.

“But Ariel is my friend!”

Regina squeezed Lily’s hand gently, “See. And Kathryn is mine. It is okay to have more than one friend. We can all be friends together. That doesn’t mean I care about you any less, okay?”

The little girl seemed to contemplate that for a moment before she nodded, “Okay. Love you, Gina.”

“I love you too, Honey.”  
Regina smiled and opened her arms only to embrace Lily, who flung herself right at her, a moment later.

“So, dinner?”

“Yes!”

Regina got up, her little koala attached at her hip, but when she turned around she stopped dead in her tracks.

Henry was leaning against the doorframe, smirking in triumph, “Told you. Total mom.”

\-------------

The evening had gone smoothly after that. Lily had even hugged Kathryn with a shy ‘hi’ and Emma had kissed Regina on the cheek as they had watched the scene unfold, the pride in Emma’s sparkling green eyes unmistakable.

The kids were all tucked in and Regina and Kathryn were standing in front of the door, the blonde about to head home.

“I never thought I’d say that, but family life suits you, Regina. I also thought I’d never see the day you’d love again and now look at you. You’re radiant and I’m so happy for you.”

A single tear made it down Regina’s cheek and Kathryn hugged her instantly, “You deserve this. You deserve to be happy. And loved. Never doubt that.”

\-------------

The next few days flew by, but although they were separated during the week Regina and Emma were caught up in their bliss none-the-less.  
The other night they had started to discuss Christmas presents and Emma had pointed out that she didn’t want to spoil the kids too much because Christmas should be about family and not about gifts. Regina had agreed because she wasn’t too keen on Christmas anyway, but then again she didn’t have anyone to celebrate with in a while, so what did she know.

The plan was to go shopping together the next weekend while David and Mary Margaret would stay with the kids, but life decided to throw them a curveball right then.

A curveball that turned into a nightmare really fast.  
A nightmare that came in form of the flu.


	21. Sick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _My apologies for the delay. I went home to spend the holidays with my family and it's been a long ass drive and it_ _took me a while to get the new modem/wifi going._  
>  _Which means a triple update today - chapters 21, 22 and 23 will be posted within the next few minutes. Make_ _sure to read them all xo_

**W** hen Emma had told Regina that shopping wouldn’t happen because Lily and Neal were home sick on Thursday she hadn’t thought much of it.  
A lot of people were battling a cold in early December, especially in Maine.  
And she assumed it had to be easy to catch something in kindergarten or school with so many children in one place.

So they would stay in that weekend and make sure that the little ones would get back on their feet as soon as possible.  
Christmas shopping could wait since they weren’t planning on getting a lot of gifts anyway and Regina’s gift to Emma and the children was well on the way, unbeknownst to all of them.

But then Emma had called again on Friday to tell Regina that it would be better for Regina to stay at her house because Roland wasn’t well either and Emma didn’t want Regina to get sick too.  
And while Regina had no desire to get sick she still felt gutted because the weekends were her only time with Emma and the children and now she wouldn’t even have that.

She ended up sitting at home alone, drinking wine, with Hades, always the loyal companion, by her feet, as unhappy and as lonely as she had ever been.  
It were moments like these that Regina couldn’t quite fathom how she had ever considered this life happy before, but she had been.  
She had been content all these years, she hadn’t wanted for anything.

Until everything had changed.  
And good God, how much things had changed.

These days she did nothing, but miss Emma. And the children. Whenever they weren’t with her.  
At work she was busy and had to focus and then it was alright, but as soon as she came home she was filled with dread because the silence, that has once provided her with so much comfort, was closing in on her these days, burying her.

She was thinking about getting horses again as well.  
The stables were there and she missed racing someone through the fields. One of Regina’s fondest memories was riding down the trail to the lake, together with her mother, both of them always up for a challenge. They had sped over the fields every single time, breathing in the fresh air, laughing.  
Cora hadn’t been known to smile or laugh a lot, but in those moments she had been so unguarded and Regina was entirely grateful for these memories.  
She really missed her mother.

Hades must have picked up on her melancholic mood and put his head on her lap, causing Regina to smile as she petted him gently, “You know, big boy, mother got you for me so I would never be alone and she made a great choice there.”

It was the truth.  
Cora had gotten Hades when she had learned about her heart’s poor condition because she hadn’t wanted Regina to be all alone.   
But Cora had always wanted more for Regina, someone who loved her, even a family maybe and Regina had always told her she would be fine.  
And she had been, but now that she had Emma and the children she was so much better.

She smiled at the thought.  
Her mother would be happy for her, Regina had no doubt about it. She would probably even be a bit proud of Regina for getting over herself and letting a whole family into her life and heart.

She had always told Regina that it would be alright to love again after she had lost Daniel.  
He would be happy for her as well, Regina had no doubt about it.  
She missed him too. Some days all she wanted to do was talk to him - about everything that was going on in her life because he hadn’t only been her husband, her partner, but also her friend.  
And he had understood her in ways not even Kathryn could.

Yes, she would definitely get horses again because they reminded her so much of everyone she had lost, but held dear none-the-less.  
And children liked horses, did they not?

\-------------

Regina woke up at almost 3 am Saturday night to the ringing of her phone and Regina knew right away that something had to be wrong.  
When she saw Emma’s name on her phone screen she knew that something was definitely wrong.

“H-hello?”, she answered with a shaking voice while she tried to mentally prepare herself for what would come next.

“Regina, it’s Henry. I’m sorry for bothering you in the middle of the night.”

“Henry! What’s wrong?”

“We, uh, need you. Emma is sick too and the doctor thinks we’ve all got the flu.”

She heard him cough and he sounded weak altogether and before Regina even realised what she was doing she was already getting dressed.

“Don’t worry, Henry. I’m on my way.”

\-------------

She arrived at what could only be described as a war zone.  
Alexandra and Roland were fighting over the remote for the TV, Neal was sitting on the living room floor screaming, Lily was crying and Henry stood in the kitchen, looking nauseous.  
Emma was sitting at the table, ghostly pale, cold sweat on her forehead, exhaustion written all over her face.  
And it wasn’t even four in the morning.

Hades was standing next to Regina, seemingly confused about the situation.

Lily at least stopped crying as soon as she caught sight of her.  
Regina was a tad overwhelmed, but she picked up Lily nonetheless, holding the girl close, and made her way into the kitchen, where she took a mug out of Henry’s shaking hand and told him to go to bed.

Emma looked up then, eyes wide in horror, “Regina, what are you doing here?”

“Henry had the good sense to call me. The question is…why didn’t you?”, she raised her eyebrow in challenge and Emma’s head fell to the table while she groaned and mumbled something probably unintelligible.

Regina turned around to address the children in the living room, “All of you…bed. Now!”, her voice was rather authoritative, causing Alexandra and Roland to drop the remote instantly. 

As Henry walked past her she squeezed his shoulder, “I’ll make tea and see all of you in a minute.”

He nodded gratefully and took a sleepy Lily from her arms and Regina kissed the girl’s forehead, realising that it was rather warm, and stroke Lily’s cheek softly, “Go to bed, honey. I’ll come check on you in a bit.”

Once the children were gone Regina walked over to the table, knelt down and took Emma’s hands, “Darling, look at me and tell me what’s going on so I can help. Henry said you’ve got the flu?”

The blonde lifted her head and Regina met glassy, green eyes.  
Emma cleared her throat twice, “We’re all sick. You should go. I’m sorry Henry called you in the middle of the night.”

“Emma Swan, stop this right this instant! I’m glad Henry called because you look like a ghost. I’m going to take care of you, all of you, so save your breath because it’s not up for discussion. And now go to bed so I can make that tea.”

\-------------

Sunday was a nightmare.  
Alexandra ate too much candy, which resulted in her puking all over the living room. Lily was either crying or screaming and every time she stopped Neal started to make a fuss. Roland was whiny for the bigger part of the day and Emma was the crankiest of all of them.  
The only one, who was easy to deal with was Henry because he simply stayed in his room and tried to sleep it off.  
Smart boy.

Regina passed out on the living room couch around 9 pm, exhausted to the bone.

Monday morning she called Jacinda and told her to clear her schedule for the upcoming week because the children were sick and her secretary almost choked on thin air at the mention of children.  
Regina only snapped at her that she should simply do as she was told and not speculate about her private life and the woman apologized profusely.

Tink called her only a few minutes later and told her to take all the time she needed, that everything was under control, but she also promised to let Regina know right away in case of emergency.

She went grocery shopping as soon as the whole lot went to take a nap and Regina was grateful to be out of the house for a few minutes.  
She returned to a screaming match between Lily and Neal.

Henry was feeling better by Monday evening, but Emma was still battling with a fever while the children’s finally started to break.

It wasn’t until Wednesday that Emma’s condition finally improved and the blonde felt guilty that Regina had to do all the cooking and cleaning and everything else to do with the kids by herself for days.

Thursday morning everything turned to madness because the children simply didn’t do too well with being holed up for so long.  
They had struggled all week, but Thursday morning ended with Roland, Alexandra, Neal and Lily shrieking at each other and anyone else who dared to move. And Henry yelled to make them shut up while Emma, finally better, tried to calm them down.  
It was an absolute madhouse.  
Regina took Hades into the garden because the dog was overwhelmed and so was she.  
She hadn’t minded taking care of the children, no matter how exhausting and challenging it had been, but she needed a moment to breathe.

“It’s okay to take a break here and there, you know?”

Henry’s voice startled her and she turned around at once, “I don’t need a break. It’s just…Hades…”

She didn’t want to show weakness, didn’t want Henry to think that she couldn’t deal with them or that she didn’t want to be around anymore.  
Truth be told, as hard as the last couple of days had been, she hadn’t thought about leaving once.

“Regina…”

She shook her head, “I’m good. Really. I am. A bit exhausted maybe, but other than that I’m good..”

“Regina.”  
Henry took a step closer and she looked at him in irritation.

“Don’t worry. I’m not leaving or anything”, she tried to sound reassuring, but found that she sounded rather strange.

And then she felt Henry’s hand on her forehead and saw the apologetic smile on his face, “Regina, I think you’re sick.”


	22. A family of misfits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _My apologies for the delay. I went home to spend the holidays with my family and it's been a long ass drive and it_ _took me a while to get the new modem/wifi going._  
>  _Which means a triple update today - chapters 21, 22 and 23 will be posted within the next few minutes. Make_ _sure to read them all xo_

**F** ive children and one very sorry and very apologetic Emma dotted on her for the rest of the day and it warmed Regina’s heart.  
Once Henry had mentioned that she was sick it had dawned on her that she was standing outside in jeans and a long sleeve shirt in the crisp winter air of Storybrooke, Maine and that she had felt rather warm.  
And as soon as it had struck her that she was ill that she had started to feel how heavy her bones had grown and how deeply exhausted she was.

She hadn’t slowed down ever since she had made it to Emma’s in the early morning on Sunday, had pushed through her exhaustion for days to keep things going at house, but now that Regina was lying in Emma’s bed she felt like she wouldn’t be able to move ever again.

Lily was sitting in bed next to Regina, keeping guard and chattering away while she faded in and out of consciousness, but the little girl didn’t mind. She was just glad to keep her company.

\-------------

Thursday and Friday had gone by in a blur for Regina, but when she woke up on Saturday morning she felt a bit better and she was relieved.  
It was still early and she was alone in the room because Emma had chosen to sleep on the couch downstairs so Regina could get the rest she needed and also because she had no desire to get sick again.

But Regina missed her.  
The week had done nothing for their relationships. Neither had Emma’s crankiness, but Regina knew that Emma didn’t handle being ill well because it always reminded her of the few times she had been sick and helpless during her time in the foster system when nobody had given a damn.

Regina grabbed the phone from her nightstand and sent a quick text to Emma, that only said _’Are you awake?’_  
She didn’t want to get up and make any noise, probably waking the children in the process because it wasn’t even 5 am and a Saturday.

A hesitant knock on the bedroom door had Regina almost jump out of her skin because she had been so focused on her phone screen, hoping for a reply from Emma, but then the door opened and revealed the woman in question, half asleep and completely adorable.

“What’s wrong, Regina?”

She couldn’t overhear the worry in Emma’s voice, so Regina immediately answered, “Nothing. Everything’s fine. I just. I miss you.”

The statement had Emma awake in the blink of an eye and she walked over to the far side of the bed and got under the covers, all worries about getting sick again long forgotten.  
She pulled Regina close and wrapped her arms around her protectively, “I missed you too.”

Regina snuggled into her, head resting on Emma’s chest and she hummed her approval, “What are we going to do about Christmas shopping?”

“I’m going back to work on Tuesday, I already talked to Kathryn. I thought maybe we could do that Monday once the kids are off to school and kindergarten. Unless you have to go to work, though I’d recommend you take it easy for a couple of more days since you’re still running a slight temperature I think. Good thing we had some meds left so I could give you some right away”, Emma stated and kissed Regina’s forehead, “And thank you for making sure that all of us took them every day. More than that thank you for taking care of us in the first place because I know it’s been a nightmare. It means so much to me that you came and that you took it all in stride because it’s been a lot.”

“I told you, Emma. I’m not going to bail on you or the children. I’m here to stay.”

Emma squeezed Regina’s side gently, “I’m beginning to see that. And it means everything to me.”

Hearing that lifted a huge weight off of Regina’s shoulders Emma having faith in her, in them, was crucial to building a future together.  
And while Regina was well aware that the doubts would pop up here and there, which was understandable considering Emma’s past, it was the start of something great still.

\-------------

After a weekend on bed rest except for the half hour Regina had been allowed outside to watch the children play with Hades in the snow she was glad to be out and moving Monday morning.

“What are the plans for Christmas anyway?”, Regina asked during the drive to the mall.

Emma shrugged, “Nothing special, you know. The kids don’t believe in Santa because well…in the foster system you realize pretty fast that there is none. I mean I think the news haven’t travelled to Lily and Neal just yet, but I can’t be sure. I need to find that out somehow. Ingrid used to always make it a point that everyone focused on spending time together over the holidays as a ‘family’, you know. And I agree. I mean for so many people it’s just about gifts and what not. Even the little kids are totally crazy in their demands. One of the boys in kindergarten was bragging the other day that I told Santa at the mall that he wanted a new iPhone and he expected to get it. What has the world come to?”

Regina nodded in understanding, “I get what you are saying. And I don’t mean to offend you, but for some people buying an iPhone isn’t a big deal. If you have money or come from money that’s just peanuts. But I see the conflict because most parents can’t afford it and then those children get picked on and it only gets worse from there.”

Emma thought about it for a moment before she answered, “I do understand your point of view because, well, you sure have way more money than I can even begin to imagine, Regina. But even if I had your kind of money I wouldn’t buy an iPhone for a five-year-old. They are good kids and I want to teach them values and I want them to understand that it takes a lot of hard work to make enough money to pay for all their monthly expenses and still have enough to buy all kinds of things. Because take yourself as an example, Regina…you are a workaholic when you aren’t sick or taking time off because you want to help me out. And you have a lot of responsibility for your employees. And you have to be as driven as you are to keep the company going. Your whole family has been working hard for a long time to turn it into what it is today. You didn’t get it for free and I think a lot of people think you have it easy because you have money and I can only talk about Kathryn because I work for her and I know her schedule better than my own, but her working hours are intense. And from the bits and pieces I’ve seen of your work I know you are too. It’s not like you are sitting around all day doing nothing.”

“Yes. Yes, of course. You are right and I agree that it’s important that children need to understand the value of things. No argument from me here, but Emma? Can we agree on me spoiling them just a little bit here and there? Because I do have a bit of money sitting in my bank account and while that is all good and well…if I don’t spend it. Well, what’s the point of all the hard work then? I promise not to go overboard or do something crazy, but we are in this together now and it really feels like we are becoming a family”, Regina rambled and blushed.

Emma chuckled, “A family of misfits.”

Regina laughed at the comment, “Be that as it may. A family nonetheless. But that means I want to do something nice for all of you sometimes and if I happen to can afford it I don’t see the harm. It’s how I grew up and I don’t want to ever get into a fight over this because I don’t want to offend you or come off as superior.”

“I think that’s acceptable because I do understand that we are coming from completely different places, but you need to give me a little time to get used to it, you know? Because I’ve never had anyone looking out for me like that before”, Emma admitted, her eyes focused on the road.

Regina squeezed her thigh gently, “You have now.”

\-------------

They had spent a ridiculously long time at _Toys ‘r’ us_ because Emma basically turned into a kid and Regina didn’t have the heart to tell her to stop.  
Emma’s childlike antics were too adorable for words and Regina found herself smiling goofily all the while she watched her dashing through the aisles, pointing out games and plush toys and a Batman figure Emma wished she could have gotten as a kid.  
Said figure made it into Regina’s basket unnoticed while Emma was already off to look at something else.

If somebody would have told Regina a year ago she would ever date someone who behaved more like a child than a grown-up at times she would have thought them mental, but these days she found Emma and her unique personality so refreshing.

\-------------

After they had finished gift shopping for the kids Emma invited Regina to lunch because they still had a bit of time left before they had to return home.

“I’m going to look at horses during the holidays”, Regina announced nervously while they were waiting for their food to arrive.

“Horses?”, Emma’s eyes went wide in surprise.

“I told you how we owned horses for a long time, didn’t I?”

Emma’s only answer was a nod.

“And I thought the stables are still there and I miss having horses. They are magnificent animals and I love working with them. Going for rides and such”, Regina explained, “I already hired someone to take care of the horses amongst other things.”

“Wow”, Emma didn’t know what else to say.

“You do like horses, don’t you?”, Regina grew a bit anxious at Emma’s lack of a proper response.

“Uh…yeah. I guess. I wouldn’t know. I mean I never saw one up close. You know…foster kid. But surprisingly enough Henry is quite fond of them. One would think it’s usually a girls thing, but I know Ingrid managed to get him some classes back then and he was ecstatic”, Emma replied with a smile.

“Well, maybe I can teach him if that’s alright with you”, Regina offered, “And I could teach you too if you wanted to. Maybe you and the children could spend some weekends over the Estate with me too?”

Emma studied Regina for a long minute before her smile grew even wider, “You know what, Regina? That sounds like a fantastic idea.”

At first Emma had thought that it would mean that Regina would spend less time with them, but as soon as she realised that Regina actually wanted to share this part of her life with them all her worries had subsided.  
Regina wanted them there at her fancy manor and at the stables and it made Emma feel so incredibly loved and that was everything that mattered.  
And she vowed that she would look into a bunch of things because she really wanted that future with Regina and they would find a way to make it work.


	23. A house, not a home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _My apologies for the delay. I went home to spend the holidays with my family and it's been a long ass drive and it_ _took me a while to get the new modem/wifi going._  
>  _Which means a triple update today - chapters 21, 22 and 23 will be posted within the next few minutes. Make_ _sure to read them all xo_

**W** hen Regina returned to Emma’s house the next Friday she was surprised to come face to face with a beautiful woman with long dark hair instead of Emma. Hades eyed the stranger intensely for a moment before he decided the woman wasn’t a threat and he simply stalked into the house and claimed his spot on the couch.

She wasn’t sure what to make of it because Emma hadn’t mentioned a visitor or anything and she was about to snap at the woman and demand answers, but thankfully Henry came rushing down the stairs and saved them all from that outburst because it wouldn’t have been pretty.

“Regina, this is Marian. The social worker who works our cases”, the teenager stated with a smile.

She took a deep breath to calm herself and Henry winked at her, “Emma is upstairs because Neal was cranky so she tries to get him to take a nap.”

Regina nodded in understanding and Henry turned to address Marian, “That’s Regina. Emma’s girlfriend.”

Marian held out her hand, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss…? I’ve heard a lot about you. Only good things, I assure you.”

Regina took the offered hand and shook it, suddenly uneasy because the social worker’s presence couldn’t mean anything good, now could it?  
“Mills. Regina Mills. May I be frank and ask about the reason for your visit? Is something wrong?”

A smile appeared on Marian’s face. Emma hadn’t been lying when she had told her that Regina was very protective of the people she considered her family.  
She shook her head, her smile never wavering, “No, no. There’s no need to worry. I always come by before Christmas to see how everyone is doing and if there is anything I can help with. But hold on a second...Mills? As in Mills Industries?”

“Yes, that would be me”, Regina smiled proudly.

“Did you recently hire a Robin Locksley?”, Marian asked curiously.

“I did, yes”, Regina confirmed, confusion written all over her face, “How do you know about that?”

Marian chuckled, “He’s my husband.”

\-------------

Regina and Marian were chatting animatedly about the foster system by the time Emma came back downstairs.

“You forgot to mention that the woman of your dreams happens to be Regina _Mills_. Why is that?”, Marian titled her head and smirked at the blush that crept up Emma’s neck and cheeks.

Emma sat down next to Regina, pecked her on the lips and intertwined their fingers before she finally answered, “Because her last name or her bank account doesn’t matter to me.”

Regina smiled at Emma and lifted their joined hands to put a kiss to the blonde’s palm, “That’s good to know, darling, but I think Marian’s comment has more to do with the fact that I recently hired her husband. I told you I hired someone for the stables, remember?”

Emma’s eyes went wide in surprise, “You hired Robin? That’s awesome. He’s such a great guy!”

“That’s why I married him”, Marian threw in with a wink.

\-------------

Marian and Emma discussed what kind of renovations that house desperately needed and the social worker agreed to look into it. Maybe the city would fund some of it at least.

What Regina found surprising was the fact that Emma said that she didn’t like the house all that much and that she would have rather taken the kids somewhere else when she had come back, but that she simply didn’t have the budget because Regina had always assumed that Emma would be glad to live in the house since it had been Ingrid’s.

She would have to talk to Emma about that later.

Marian was about to leave when Lily came barreling down the stairs and threw herself into Regina’s arms, “Ginaaaaaa! You are back!”

Regina beamed at her, hugged her close and kissed her temple, “Hello sweetie!”

Marian and Emma exchanged knowing looks and smiled at one another, both women relieved that Lily had turned into a much happier girl ever since Regina had come into her life.  
Emma had told Marian all about the bond Regina and the little girl shared and the problems that had come with it, but luckily they had been able to work through it and Lily was better at “sharing” Regina these days.

Now that Marian saw for herself she had no doubt that Regina was the perfect fit for the family and she was beyond happy for Emma because she was well aware how hard the last two years had been for her, especially after everything she had gone through while she had been in the foster system herself.

“I gotta go, but I’ll be in touch”, Marian announced and got up, “Please don’t hesitate to call me in case you need anything.”

Emma nodded gratefully and escorted Marian to the door while Lily kept babbling to Regina about her week.  
Yes, it started to feel like they were a real family.

\-------------

The children were tugged in and sleeping and Regina and Emma were sitting on the couch in the living room, cuddled up together under a blanket.  
Hades had gone to sleep in Henry’s room once again and Regina was proud of her dog because she knew Henry loved his attention as much as she did.

“Emma, can I ask you something?”, she asked carefully because the question from earlier wouldn’t leave her alone.

Emma looked at her expectantly, “Sure. What is it?”

“I was just wondering because earlier when Marian was here you said that if you could have had your way you wouldn’t have stayed here and I was wondering why that is. Is that a stupid question?”, Regina felt insecure all of a sudden. Maybe she shouldn’t have asked because it was none of her business anyway.

Emma sighed, “No, it’s not. And I…well. Ingrid died in this house and it felt so weird staying. It felt as if I had simply taken her spot, replaced her. But there’s no way anyone could ever replace her. And you know full well the house isn’t in the best shape. The area isn’t the best either. All the good schools are across the city. But back then I just started a new job and I wouldn’t have gotten enough money by selling this place…to buy somewhere else. So I really didn’t want to stay and to this day…it’s my house. But it’s not my home, you know?”

“Yes, I get that”, Regina nodded in understanding, “It was different for me. I had been away for the time I attended university and when I came back I couldn’t imagine ever leaving again. I love that place. The space, the fresh air. The orchards with all the apple trees. The freedom it provides because there are no annoying neighbours. Living there with my mother has been amazing. I miss my father too, but we never were that close and with his drinking. Well, his death wasn't unexpected. The Mills Estate is my family’s legacy and I am quite proud to carry it on because I know how much hard work went into it all. And that my family didn’t always have it easy. But we made it through all the storms and my home symbolises that perfectly.”

Emma kissed her temple, “See. I do understand that as well. And honestly…had I grown up in a place like that I would have never left either.”

They sat in silence for a while after that while Emma played with the hem of Regina’s shirt absentmindedly, apparently working up the nerve to say something.  
The minutes ticked by, but Regina knew better than to push because she knew that Emma would talk to her when she was ready.

It was about ten minutes later that Emma finally broke the silence, “I look at different schools closer to where you live. I thought maybe one day I can transfer the kids over there and then we can find a place closer to you or something. So we can spend more time together. If you wanted to.”

“I’d love that”, Regina kissed her gently.  
She was well aware that _or something_ meant that they would move in together, but Regina also knew that Emma would never invite herself or “force” her way into her home. Emma wanted Regina to want her and it would be up to Regina to make a suggestion like that eventually.  
And that was fine.

“So, about Christmas dinner”, Emma started again, “Do you know how to cook a turkey by any chance?”

Regina chuckled, “Yes, I do. Let me guess…you don’t?”

Emma shook her head in embarrassment, “Nope. Ruby tried to help me last year and let me tell you…it didn’t end well. We almost set the kitchen on fire.”

Regina raised her eyebrow, “Do I even wanna know?”

“No. You really don’t.”

And considering that Regina knew the two women in question she thought Emma was probably right. She didn’t need to know everything.

“It’s going to be a beautiful Christmas”, Emma sighed in contentment and sighed.

“Yes, I think so too”, Regina agreed happily and pulled Emma closer for a proper kiss, “What do you think about going to bed?”

Emma smirked, mischief sparkling in her eyes, “Why, Miss Mills? Are you tired?”

Regina couldn’t help, but chuckle at the sly expression on Emma’s face, “Not quite.”

Before she could even blink Emma got to her feet, grabbed her hand and pulled her up, right into her arms and kissed her soundly.

“Then I’m all for going to bed.”

Regina laughed out loud and allowed Emma to drag her up the stairs with a goofy smile on her face.  
It was hard to grasp how happy she was these days and how much she looked forward to Christmas this year and so did Emma and the children.  
Good thing they didn’t know yet what a rollercoaster ride it would turn out to be.


	24. A winter storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Hello everyone!_   
>  _I promise I will reply to each and every comment tomorrow because here in Austria we celebrate_   
>  _Christmas tonight._   
>  _So MERRY XMAS from my end. And if you don't celebrate - HAPPY HOLIDAYS!_
> 
> _I can't believe we've almost reached the end of our journey, but all good things come to an end eventually._   
>  _Anyway._   
>  _Here is chapter 24 of 'Package deal'. Enjoy! xo_

**I** t was Saturday.It was December 24.  
It was the day before Christmas.  
It was also the day a nasty ice storm hit Storybrooke.

Regina was at her office, hosting the annual _Mills Industries_ Christmas party.  
Her mother had made that a tradition because her reasoning had been that everyone should be done with Christmas shopping by then anyway because last-minute purchases could never be anything meaningful. And she had also considered it an opportunity for everyone to relax before the real madness started on December 25.  
The fact that everyone would leave at a decent hour because most people had small children in the family and everyone knew they would get up at an ungodly hour in their excitement to see if Santa had already been there.

Regina could do without it, but she had kept her mother’s tradition going because the staff had actually appreciated it.  
And so she found herself stuck in her office, mostly talking to Tink, when all she really wanted was to be at Emma’s to spend time with her, well, family.

The buffet had just been opened when the whole room fell quiet and Regina looked around in confusion, only to spot a shivering Emma and equally shivering Hades standing in the doorframe.

Regina excused herself immediately and rushed over to them, taking Emma’s cold hands into her own, “Darling, what happened?”

“T-he s-to-orm”, Emma forced out through clattering teeth.

“What about the storm?”

“The roof. P-art of t-he roo-oof came cr-rashing down”, Emma managed to say.

Regina’s eyes went wide in horror, “What?! Are you alright? The children?”

Emma took a couple of deep breaths, “Everyone is…fine. They’ll send workers right after the holidays. David helped…to co-over the hole in the roof for now. At least we hope that it will hold. I’m taking the kids to…to the motel down the…down the highway. Right outside of Storybrooke. But I thought you might want to keep Hades with you.”

“Absolutely not!”, Regina squeezed Emma’s hands gently, “You are not going to spend Christmas in a motel. You are going to stay with me.”

“Regina, I don’t want to…”, Emma tried, but Regina shook her head vehemently.

“Now listen closely, Emma Swan. Because I’m only going to say this once. You are my family and you are not imposing. Or intruding. You are coming home with me. All of you. No discussions. And now get the children from the car. I’m sure they are pretty shaken and cold and we have enough food here to feed an army. Okay?”

Emma pulled her into a bone-crushing hug, “Thank you. Thank you so much, Regina! I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but…”

Regina put her index finger on Emma’s lips to silence her, causing Emma to shut up instantly.  
Everyone in the room was watching them, Regina was aware of that, and while she would have never considered showing emotions in front of her employees before she couldn’t care less now.  
And so she cupped Emma’s cheek with her hand and leaned in to kiss her softly, “You deserve the world, Emma. And now go, get the children.”

\-------------

Lily’s shrieking voice startled everyone only minutes later when the little girl stormed into the room with a high pitched “Ginaaaaaaaaa!”

Regina bent down to lift her up, hugging her close under the disbelieving gazes of her employees, “Hello sweetie! How are you?”

“I’m good. Just cold. And hungry”, Lily stated, “The house is broken.”

Right then Emma appeared in her line of vision, Neal on her hip, and the rest of the children standing next to her.  
Regina let Lily back down, took her tiny hand, and walked over to the others.  
She kissed Neal on the forehead before she knelt down, high heels be damned, to hug Alexandra and Roland because she was so glad to see them all unharmed.  
Henry helped her back to her feet before she hugged him as well, for a long minute, because he looked quite shaken.

“I’m sorry for the interruption, Miss Mills”, Jacinda appeared next to them, “I turn up the heat in your office in case you want some privacy. Hades has is lying on the couch.”

Regina nodded in appreciation, “Thank you, Jacinda.”  
Then she turned to address Emma, “Make yourself at home in my office. I’ll be with you in a minute.”

\-------------

As soon as Emma and the children were out of sight Regina called Kathryn and told her what had happened.  
She also called her because she needed help.

“I know your father is with you and I’m so sorry to have to ask this of you, but I’m nowhere near prepared to have guests at the manor just yet. Not tonight. There isn’t even a tree. No decorations. No nothing. Hell, I didn’t even go grocery shopping.”

Regina was frantic and she had no idea what to do, but Kathryn only smiled. She could hear that all over the phone.

“Breathe, Regina. Daddy and I will go shopping and bring everything to the house. Can you give us…say…two hours? Three would be even better.”

“Kathryn, I don’t even know…thank you! I owe you…big time.”

“Don’t mention it, Regina. You’ve got me out of a lot of trouble over the years. If anything I owe you. But you know what would be nice? A proper dinner at the manor on the 27th. Say with everyone? Emma’s friends, me, my father and Frederick and you peeps? How does that sound?”

“It sounds like a fantastic idea, Kat.”

\-------------

She made her way to her office and met Tink, who was carrying plates, much to Regina’s confusion.

“Jacinda is preparing food to be brought into your office for your family. I thought I’ll lend a hand so they don’t have to wait so long”, Tink smiled and Regina couldn’t help, but smile as well.  
She made a mental note to add to Jacinda’s Christmas bonus because the woman might not be perfect, but she cared where it mattered the most.

“Thank you, Tink! Please tell everyone that I will be staying in my office with my family, but that everyone should come by to say goodbye before they leave.”

“Of course, Regina.”

\-------------

They were all sitting on the couch, cuddled together, Neal in Emma’s lap, Lily in Regina’s, when the first employees came to say good-bye.  
A box was sitting in front of them on the table and Regina took envelopes out of them, name after name, and handed the proper one to Lily, who held them out to the person in front of her proudly.

Everyone took their envelope that held their Christmas bonus cheque with a smile from the little girl’s hand and wished Regina and her family a Merry Christmas.  
It was a bizarre situation, one Regina had never thought she’d ever find herself in, but now she found she didn’t mind. Maybe it wasn’t the worst thing to happen that the people working for her saw that she was a human being with very human emotions after all.

\-------------

Jacinda was the last to come into her office, which didn’t surprise Regina at all.  
She got up from the couch then, took her chequebook, scribbled something quickly and took said cheque out of it and handed it to her secretary, who glared at it with wide eyes.

“Miss Mills, there has to be a mistake. That’s way too much.”

But Regina only rounded her desk and got a wrapped box, that she had hidden behind it and handed it to Jacinda as well, “That’s for Evora. Merry Christmas, Jacinda. I’ll see you bright and early after the holidays.”

The secretary looked at her dumbfounded and apparently speechless, “I…I don’t know what…”

“There’s no need to say anything, but I would leave now if I were you before I find you some work to do”, Regina joked and Jacinda chuckled because that was more like it. That was the Regina Mills she knew and respected. Minus the joking, because she doubted that anyone in the office had ever heard that woman crack a joke before.

Jacinda nodded quickly, said _goodbye_ to the kids and to Emma and left before she would indeed be stuck at the office.

Regina turned around to look at Emma, who only smiled at her, “That was really nice, Regina. I’m proud of you.”  
And hearing that meant everything to Regina.

\-------------

The first thing Regina noticed when they arrived at the manor was that everything was dark which meant Kathryn was already gone.  
Or had they not even been there yet?  
Which so many people doing last minute shopping it would be possible, wouldn’t it?

She dreaded to enter the house, but it was too cold and too windy to stay outside, but thankfully the nasty storm had passed by now.

Regina unlocked the door and let everyone inside and turned on the light in the living room and the first thing she caught sight of was the huge Christmas tree and the ornaments sitting in boxes on the floor.  
She let out the breath she hadn’t even been aware of holding.  
Thank God for Kathryn Midas!

Emma looked at her in confusion and she only mouthed _Kathryn_ while the children stared at the tree in awe.

“I’m going to get changed. Maybe you can start a fire in the fireplace in the meantime?”

Emma nodded, “Of course.”

“I’ll be right back and then we’ll figure out where everyone is going to sleep tonight”, Regina stated and headed for the kitchen, followed by Hades, who was apparently hungry.

She fed him quickly and was about to head upstairs when she caught a note on the fridge and Regina knew right away that it had to be from Kathryn.

 _Fridge is full. Sleeping arrangements have been made in what had been your fitness room. I’m sure you’ll survive a day or two without working out._ _Don’t blame me for the tent; was Frederick’s idea. Have fun decorating the tree. We’ll see you on the 27th._ _Love, Kat_

Tent? What tent?  
It didn’t really matter because Regina simply was grateful to her best friend that she decided no matter what they did - she wouldn’t be mad.

\-------------

Regina had hurried upstairs quickly to get changed into more comfortable clothes, but curiosity got the best of her on the way back and she stopped at her fitness room.  
She opened the door carefully and stopped dead in her tracks as soon as she caught sight of what was inside.

A huge tipi tent was in the middle of the room, Christmas lights wrapped all around it.  
There were mattresses inside and countless pillows and blankets and Regina had no clue how Kathryn could have pulled that off in such a short amount of time.

Arms wrapped around her from behind all of sudden and Regina couldn’t help, but smile. She leaned back into Emma’s body while she kept staring at the tent in her fitness room, “The children can stay here tonight. And I owe Kathryn a massive _Thank you_.”

“We all do”, Emma whispered, “But more than that we owe one to you.”

Regina turned in her arms then and they eyes locked, “I’m so glad you’re alright. I don’t even want to think about what could have happened…”  
Emma smiled, “I’m alright. We all are.”  
And then she kissed Regina with everything she had because Emma had never been more grateful to be alive than in that moment.

\-------------

They had decorated the tree together while Emma had unloaded the car and once the children had seen where they would sleep that night they had been all to eager to go to bed. Hades had decided to stay with them.  
Regina made a mental note to keep the tent as it was and move her fitness room somewhere else.

Emma was busy putting the gifts under the tree while Regina only placed one small, red box down next to a package with her name on it, but Emma didn’t seem to mind.

Once everything was set and done Emma chuckled, “I think it might be a great idea to sleep on the couch. Just in case. Because I don’t trust those crazy kids have enough patience to wait to open gifts till morning.”

Regina smirked, “You might have a point there, darling. I’ll get you something to sleep in.”

\-------------

She returned to the living room a few minutes later, already in her pyjamas and Emma used the bathroom downstairs to get ready for “bed.”  
Regina held up the blanket she was covered with when Emma came back and the blonde settled in right next to Regina, her arms wrapped around Regina’s body protectively.

They stared at one another in silence for a long moment to let everything that had happened that day since in, but also to revel in each other’s presence.

“Regina, I love you.”

Emma said it at last and Regina thought her heart might beat its way right out of her chest because she was so incredibly happy.  
She kissed Emma softly while she kept smiling because God knew she wouldn’t have been able to stop had her life depended on it.

And then Regina locked eyes with Emma once again, completely unguarded, open and sincere, “I love you too, Emma.”

Christmas might only be tomorrow, but in that moment Regina and Emma realised that they had already gotten the greatest gift there was out there because they had found love.  
And at the end of the day that was what the holidays were all about.  
Because true love was, and always would be, magic.


	25. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone and _Merry Christmas_!
> 
> We've reached the last chapter of 'Package deal' and it feels so surreal because I wasn't sure if I could pull it off after all and yet here we are.  
> As I said - this is my gift to the SwanQueen fandom as a whole.   
> Being a part of this fandom has been quite the journey.  
> Sometimes amazing, sometimes sad. Sometimes scary and sometimes nothing, but lovely.
> 
> All in all, it has been a unique experience ever since I started to write for SwanQueen on ff net back in the day.
> 
> After all the blood and the sweat that went into writing my SwanQueen fanfics what truly stands out are the friends I made along the way.  
> The friendships that have remained no matter what has gone wrong in my life.   
> It has kept me going and writing all these years and I'll be forever grateful for that.
> 
> Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your unconditional support, your patience and your love for my stories and for me as a person as well.
> 
> And now enjoy the last chapter - I'll see all of you on New Year's Eve with the epilog of 'Package deal'.
> 
> In case anyone wants to chat or anything - feel free to contact me via my email:   
> _chasingthewilddream@gmail.com_

**E** mma and Regina woke up to Lily and Neal shaking them and it didn’t come as a surprise to either of them.  
Henry was sitting at the edge of the couch, the smirk that had become his trademark lately perfectly in place, and Regina couldn’t help, but chuckle at the sight.

Alexandra and Roland were bouncing in excitement while Emma tried to fully wake up.  
Regina had already managed to sit up and had pulled Lily into her to tickle the little girl, causing her to shriek and wiggle like she would have gone mad.

“Can I make tea or hot cocoa before we start opening gifts?”, Regina asked and to her surprise everyone nodded in agreement.  
So Regina headed into the kitchen, pulled open the fridge and stopped dead in her tracks when she caught sight of the turkey.  
There was a note on the plastic that was wrapped around it that said: 

_Put it in the oven as soon as you wake up. K_

Regina shook her head. She really couldn’t believe Kathryn. How had the woman been able to pull all of that off in such a short amount of time?  
She preheated the oven anyway while she made hot cocoa and put the turkey into it before she took the tray with seven mugs and returned to the living room where Emma and the children were cuddled up on the couch together.  
She handed out the mugs and took a sip of her own, “So, who wants to open presents?”

The children were up and on the floor faster than she could blink, causing Regina to laugh out loud.  
Emma stood up and walked over to her and pulled her into a tight embrace and kissed her gently, “Good morning.”

“Good morning, darling!”

A yawning Hades trotted into the room then and looked at Regina expectantly.  
She knelt down to pet him properly and put a kiss on his forehead, “Merry Christmas, my boy. Breakfast will be served shortly.”

He licked her cheek in response and Regina was about to get up when Henry handed her a package that said _Hades_.  
She opened it quickly and revealed some deer antlers.

“The guy at the pet store said they were good for dogs to chew on”, Emma threw in nervously.

Hades took one out of the box carefully and jumped up on the couch, took his spot and started chewing on it immediately and Regina smiled, “Save to say it was a great choice.”

When the children were done unwrapping their gifts Regina went over to the tree to pick up the small, red box and handed it to Emma.

“Before you open it…Henry, you might want to take the children upstairs. First door to the left. Go from there. You’ll know what to look for. Emma and I will be with you in a minute”, Regina instructed and Emma looked at her in confusion, but Henry and the rest of the gang were already out of the room.

“Open it”, Regina nudged Emma in the arm gently.

It took Emma a moment to gather herself, but then she did as Regina said and stared at six identical keys. She stared at them for a long minute before she looked at Regina again, who only smiled.

“My gift to you is a home.”

It was all Regina said and Emma just stood, trying to process while Regina waited for any kind of reaction.

“You want us to live here with you? How would that even work with the kids and school and…have you really thought about this, Regina? Are you sure? We are six and you know how stressful that can be”, Emma’s emotions were all over the place.

“I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life. I know it might be hard to grasp for you, but I want you, Emma. All six of you. And I already talked to Robyn. I hired him not only to take care of the horses, but also to drive and pick up the children in case you would decide that you wanted to live here. And I thought maybe we can look into transferring them to schools closer to manor once the school year is over. I guess it would make the change easier than during the year”, Regina explained, her voice leaving no doubt that she was sure about what she had said.

When Emma still didn’t say anything Regina started to worry, but then Emma pulled her close and simply kissed her breathless.

“You’ll have to let me pay for things too though, you know? Like groceries, electricity bills, rent and such.”

Regina chuckled, “There’s no rent, darling. The place is mine.”

“The other things then”, Emma insisted.

“We’ll figure something out”, Regina replied with a smile, “Is that a _yes_ then?”

This time Emma answered without hesitation or doubt, “It’s a yes.”

Regina was about to kiss Emma once again when Henry came rushing into the room, “Emma, you’ve got to see this!”

The three of them headed upstairs and Emma immediately caught sight of the nameplates on several doors that held the names of the children.

She looked at Regina, who only nodded for her to go on and once Emma opened the room that said ‘Henry’ she gasped.  
The room was fully furnished with a bed, a desk and a computer, a large, partially stacked bookshelf, closet and a lounge chair.

Emma checked the other rooms, who were equally furnished and decorated beautifully. They held toys and dolls and everything else the kids would need and she looked at Regina in wonder, “How? When?”

Regina took her hand and squeezed it, “I made the decision weeks ago and asked Kathryn for help. She knows that decorator, so I hired him. They’ve been working and remodelling the last couple of weeks. I was at the office anyway so the noise couldn’t have bothered me.”

“I don’t know what to say”, Emma admitted while the kids were busy taking in their rooms.

Regina, on the other hand, was about to say something when Emma’s phone rang downstairs and the blonde dashed off at lightning speed, leaving Regina to look after her in confusion for once.

Henry came out of his room right then and asked about one of the books on the shelf and led Regina into his room, which she found slightly suspicious, but didn’t voice her thoughts.  
It was only when Emma returned a few minutes later, looking rather sheepishly, that Regina knew that something was up.

“So, we might have gotten you something as well”, Emma admitted shyly and Regina found her absolutely adorable in that moment.

“Are they here yet?”, Henry asked and Regina’s mind started racing.

Was someone coming to the manor? Now? Who?  
They were all still in their pyjamas!

Regina wanted to get changed at least, but the doorbell rang and Henry chuckled, “I guess that answers that.”

All of the kids came rushing out of their rooms and Roland looked at Emma in excitement, “Is that Regina’s gift?”

“Yup. Can everyone go into the living room, please? Well, everyone, but Regina.”

The kids did as they were told and Emma and Regina headed for the door, but Emma hesitated to open it, which led to Regina intertwining their fingers, “Whatever you got me will be fine. I’ll love it because you chose it for me, okay?”

Emma nodded, took a deep breath and pulled the door open to reveal her friend David Nolan. Next to him stood a female Doberman, who eyed Regina curiously.  
She had a scar on the right side of her face and an even bigger one on her right leg, but other than that she seemed fine.

“I know she isn’t as beautiful as Hades, but she was in a car accident with her owner and he died. That’s how she ended up in the shelter where David works…a couple of weeks ago. And you said your mother always had two and we thought. David was over at the house yesterday…before the roof. She is fine with the kids and with Hades, but if you don’t want a second dog we can…”, Emma rambled before David could even greet Regina.

“She’s perfect”, Regina said in awe and knelt down, holding out her hand and the dog stepped forward to sniff at it.

“What’s her name?”  
Regina looked at David, who smiled at her, knowing full well that he would not return that dog to the shelter and he was beyond grateful because all too soon the shelter would be overflowing again with unwanted Christmas gifts.  
He dreaded that time of the year like nothing else.

“Hello, Regina! It’s good to see you. And her name is Allegra.”

A smile appeared on Regina’s face, “A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.”  
And before she knew it the dog jumped at her and showered her with kisses and all Regina could do was laugh in delight.

David looked at Emma, “That was fast.”

The blonde only shrugged, “That’s Regina for you in a nutshell. She bonded with the kids faster than I could blink.”

“Hades!”, Regina called for her dog, who came running only seconds later and once he caught sight of Allegra he got so excited that he tripped over his long legs and ended up flat right in front of Regina.

Barks of laughter from David, Emma and Regina echoed through the corridor while Hades got back on his feet, shook his head twice and sat down next to Allegra, who licked his nose.

“Oh my God, look at them”, Emma gushed, “They are like a Disney movie come to life!”

\-------------

Regina had invited David and Mary Margaret to dinner on the 27th and had told Emma to tell the rest of her friends as well before she had disappeared into the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

Now that everyone was sitting at the table, eating pancakes and waffles, Regina felt a contentment she hadn’t known before and she finally understood why her mother had always wanted that for her.  
Cora had always regretted the way thing had turned out with Zelena and she had thought about making amends for a long time, but somehow it had never happened and then she had died before anything could have happened.  
Maybe it was time Regina did something about it. Maybe it wasn’t too late to salvage her relationship with her sister. She would call her and she would invite her to dinner. And she would invite Graham as well because she knew he had no one.   
They could also invite Robin and Marian, could they not?  
She would have to call Kathryn again because she would need help to sat the large table in the old dining room. It hadn’t been used in forever. Her great-grandfather had bought it once upon a time. He had always bragged that it had once belonged to a king. Whether that was true or not didn’t matter though. What was important was that it would offer enough space for everyone.

“So, does that mean we are going to stay over more often now that we all have a room here?”, Henry asked, hope shining in his eyes.

Emma smiled, looked at Regina, who only nodded, and cleared her throat, “Actually…Regina asked if we would want to live here with her.”

“Really?”, Alexandra asked in surprise, “Like always? Like a real home?

“Yes, sweetheart. That’s exactly what it means. A real home”, Regina replied, smile still in place, but her voice was sincere and serious.

The kids were out of their chairs and hugging her before Regina didn’t even know what was happening. The only one who was standing back was Henry, who wiped at his cheeks frantically before Emma pulled him into a tight embrace, offering him comfort.

When the first excitement ebbed away the children sat back down to finish breakfast and Regina stood to hug the boy who had become so dear to hear.  
She wiped the remnants of his tears away and smiled at him, “You’re home now, Henry.”

\-------------

They had taken Hades and Allegra for a walk through the Winter Wonderland that was the Mills Estate and Regina had suggested that they could go on a bit of a trip on December 28 because she wanted to look at horses. The children had been ecstatic and they had driven over to Emma’s house to grab more cloth and a few of their other belongings in the afternoon.  
Regina had hired a moving company to pick up the rest of their stuff after the holidays and she had also called her sister, who had been quite surprised to hear from her.  
Even more so when she had learned that Regina’s girlfriend was moving in with her five foster children. From the sounds of it, Zelena had choked on whatever drink she consumed. To Regina’s surprise she had agreed to the dinner invitation and so she had called Kathryn in a mild panic that there would be quite a few guests in attendance.  
Kathryn, always the collected one, had told Regina not to worry and that they would manage just fine like they always did and she was probably right.

They had decided to have leftovers for dinner because nobody wanted to waste food and afterwards they had all sat together in the living room while Emma had read _A child’s Christmas in Wales_ , which was a tradition invented by Ingrid apparently.

Now that the kids were tucked in, each in their own bed, and with Hades and Allegra sleeping rolled up on the couch next to one another Emma and Regina decided to call it a night as well.

They were both laughing and smiling at one another all the way down the corridor, but as soon as she opened Regina’s bedroom door Emma fell silent and looked at Regina in confusion.  
The walls were plain white and freshly painted and all the furniture was gone, except for a mattress, two pillows and a big blanket.

Regina shoved her into the room gently and closed the door behind them before she took Emma’s hands and squeezed them gently, “Initially I had wanted to have this room re-decorated as well, but then I remembered what you said about Ingrid’s house. That it is just that. A house, but not a home. And I know that the manor is very old-school when it comes to design, but I never had the heart to replace much of the furniture except for the kitchen and the living room. And now the rooms for the children. But I want this to be your home and I want you to be comfortable here…so I thought maybe we can go furniture shopping next week and do this one room together. If you want? Because it will be _ours_ after all.”

“I love you.”  
It was the only thing on Emma’s mind, the only thing she was sure about, the only reality that mattered and then she kissed Regina with everything she had, with everything she was because she needed Regina to know, to understand how much she meant to her.  
How much all of this meant to her.

\-------------

They had made love in a way neither of them had experienced ever before.   
Passionate, but gentle, every touch soft, but meaningful and Emma felt like her bruised and battered heart had started to heal in the process. And from the look on Regina’s face, hers might have as well.

Emma’s head was resting on Regina’s shoulder, her arms wrapped around Regina’s body securely and they were both not the brink of sleep when Emma felt Regina’s lips on her forehead and she could tell that Regina was smiling.

“Thank you for everything, Regina. Really. And Merry Christmas! Sleep well…”, Emma mumbled and kisses Regina’s neck.

“Sleep well, darling. And welcome home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _The Epilog will be posted on New Year's Eve! Happy Holidays and see you soon...much love xo_


	26. Package deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Thanks for all the love, everyone! Here comes the epilog...make sure to read the Author's note at the end of the_ _chapter! xo_

_New Year’s Eve - one year later_

**R** egina was petting the neck of her Friesian steed Rocinante, ready to mount her horse when Henry appeared, leading his white gelding out of the stables with a smile on his face.

Regina couldn’t help, but smile as well.   
They had gone to look at horses a few days after their first Christmas together last year and Henry had fallen in love with the horse right away.  
He hadn’t been anything special, a rescue, almost starved to the bone, dirty all over and a deep wound on his neck that had barely started to heal, but Henry had seen something in the nameless horse and Regina had decided to take a chance on the animal like she had taken a chance on Emma and the children.

Henry had been there every step of the way and he had taken care and nursed the gelding back to health. He had also been the one to name him Pan.  
And the two of them were inseparable since.

These days the Mills Estate was home to five horse, but it was mostly Regina and Henry who hit the trails together, their bond stronger than ever.

Ever since Emma and the children had moved in things had fallen into place. Not everything had gone smoothly, but that hadn’t surprised anyone considering that Regina had lived alone for a while and it had been an adjustment to have a house full of children on a daily basis.

Emma and Regina had faced their own challenges and fights, which had mostly to do with Regina working too much and coming home stressed and in a terrible mood.   
Henry had found Regina sleeping on the couch once and he had known right away that things between his two foster mothers couldn’t be good.  
He had talked Regina into going for a ride in the early morning that day, even before breakfast, and he had told her that he was worried about her because she looked so tired all the time.

Ironically enough _that_ had been the wake-up call Regina had needed because she knew how sensitive the teenager was and how much this home and this family meant to him and she had vowed then and there that she would finally cut back on her hours. That’s why she had hired Tink after all.

And once she had made good on her promise things had gotten way better for all of them.  
Jacinda and Tink made a great team at work, they were a force to be reckoned with if Regina was honest, and she enjoyed all the free time she got to spend with the horses and, of course, with Emma and the children.

Robin had turned out to be a true blessing as well because he was great with the children, which came as no surprise whatsoever as he was married to Marian, and he was also amazing when it came to tending to the animals.  
He had come to work incredibly early for months on end to get the children to school and kindergarten on time and he had taken it in stride, always cheerful and in a good mood when he had arrived at the Estate int he early mornings and Regina had appreciated it immensely.   
In all these months he hadn’t complained once although the children could be quite a handful at times, but now that they had changed schools and such it was a lot easier for everyone.

A year had gone by and except for a few glitches here and there it had gone well, for the most part, a lot better than all of them had thought it would, and Regina knew, without a doubt, that she had always been meant to be a part of this family.  
She smiled at the thought, lost in the memories of the last year. She was so grateful for all of them, even the bad ones because in the end everything they had been through during the last twelve months - as a family - had brought them even closer together.  
It had turned them into a unit, a real family and she couldn’t be happier.

Henry had mounted Pan while she had gotten caught up in her thoughts and he cleared his throat, “We forgot to bring Hades and Allegra. I promised them that we would take them with us. Why don’t you start towards the lake and I’ll get them? We’ll catch up in no time.”

Regina nodded and smiled while she mounted Rocinante, “Alright then. I’ll see you in a few, Henry.”

And so she took off towards the lake while Henry and Pan headed for the manor.

\-------------

Emma was waiting for him already when he stopped in front of the manor and Henry couldn’t help, but chuckle.  
Impatient, wasn’t she?

“Everything ok?”, he teased and Emma glared at him.

Henry dismounted Pan and handed the reins to his foster mother, “Be nice to him. You don’t want to walk back all the way from the lake. You’d be late for the party.”

“Haha”, Emma eyed the horse suspiciously for a moment. She knew quite well that Pan loved Henry the most and barely tolerated anyone else riding him, but Regina would have known right away that something would be up if Henry would try to ride another one of the horses.  
And what kind of surprise would it have been then?  
Emma did enjoy a ride with Regina here and there, but she was nowhere near as fond of the animals as her girlfriend and foster son, but special occasions called for all kinds of changes.

She mounted the gelding instead of Henry, who only gave her a thumbs up before she spurred the horse on and they headed off to catch up with Regina, who would probably already be halfway to the lake.

\-------------

Emma had decided for a different approach in the last minute and had slowed Pan down before they could have caught up to Regina.  
She had needed a moment to herself to let the last year sink in completely. It still felt surreal to live in that manor from time to time.  
To call the Mills Estate her home. Their home.

Everything had worked out for them ultimately and sometimes Emma had a hard time believing it to this very day, but Regina had done, and still did, a great job at reassuring her.

Ever since Regina had stopped her workaholic ways things were almost flawless with the occasional hitch with one of the kids, but they didn’t mind.  
Kids weren’t robots after all.  
They still did their Tuesday lunch dates, to this very day, and Emma loved every second of them.  
These days Kathryn joined them sometimes and they always had a blast, especially now that her boss and friend was pregnant with her first child and the hormones constantly got the better of her.  
Regina was teasing her mercilessly most of the time because Kathryn had given Regina such a hard time in regards to basically “having” five kids now when she hadn’t even wanted one originally. It had been all in good fun, but Regina was enjoying her revenge now none-the-less. And Emma simply loved their banter.

Everything was fine these days and Emma couldn’t believe how happy and content she was.  
The last year, while rocky at times, had shown her that Regina really was _The One_.

Because even though they had fought at times and even though it had been difficult here and there - she had never considered to walk away from Regina.  
And Regina had never thought about it either.

They had worked through it together and had come out the other way stronger.

\-------------

Regina was standing at the shore of the frozen lake, Rocinante tied securely to a tree, while she enjoyed the view.  
There was snow as far as she could see and it made the world around her look so incredibly peaceful and serene.  
That was why she loved winter so much.

When she heard another horse approaching a smile spread on her face and she turned around to spot her dogs, but they were nowhere to be seen.  
It only took a few moments before she caught a glimpse of Pan’s head, “I thought you were bringing Hades and Allegra?”

And then she caught sight of Emma instead of Henry and she frowned in confusion.

“Not that I’m not happy to see you, darling, but where is Henry?”

Emma only smiled, dismounted the horse and tied him to the tree next to Rocinante.   
What a stark contrast Regina’s black steed was to Pan and the Winter Wonderland that surrounded them.

She walked over to where Regina stood and held out her hand, “I thought it would be nice to have a few minutes to ourselves before the party because God knows it will be madness. Walk with me?”

Regina took the offered hand and intertwined their glove-covered fingers, “Always.”

They strolled down the shore until they reached the wooden bench Regina’s grandfather had built once upon a time.  
Emma touched it with her free hand and looked at Regina, “Do you remember how Lily called you _mama_ the first time while we were here in summer?”

Regina nodded, “How could I ever forget that?”

They had tried so hard to keep certain boundaries up as the children were “only” there foster children, but they had no families who would ever come back for them as their mothers and fathers were dead and no other relative had ever popped up and shown any interest at them.  
They had talked with Marian about it more than once and in the end, they had come to the conclusion that it would be the children’s choice as they wouldn’t be going anywhere.

And then, one beautiful summer day, they all had been at the lake and Henry had been swimming with Alexandra and Roland while Hades and Allegra had sat at the shore, keeping guard.  
Emma and Neal had lain in the grass while Regina and Lily had sat on the bench while Regina had read _The Wizard of Oz_ to them.

The book had been a gift to the children from Zelena, who had shown up for that particular dinner on December 27th the year before and Regina had started to build a relationship with her sister ever since.   
She expected Zelena and her family for the party tonight in fact. It wasn’t easy, but they were on a good way and Regina was actually grateful for that.  
God, her mother would be so proud, Regina had no doubt about that. Nor about the fact that Cora would have loved Emma and these children.  
She truly wished that her mother could be here to see it all.

“I’m sorry for the Wicked Witch. She is so lonely”, Lily had blurted out all of a sudden and Regina had smiled at her because the little girl was taking after Emma in regards to kindness and she loved to both of them even more for it.

“I guess you are right”, she had said, “I was very lonely once too.”  
She hadn’t meant to confess that, but Lily had only taken her hand and had stared at her for a moment, deep in thought.

And then Lily had just said it, as if it would be the most normal thing in the world, “But you aren’t anymore, right, mama? Because you have us now.”

She had cried then. She had cried and she had held Lily close and it had taken Emma a good minute to explain to Lily that she hadn’t been upset, but so happy.

These days the children called her _Mama_ or _Mom_ and they usually called Emma _Ma_.  
Except for Henry, who called them by their names still, but Emma suspected that had to do with the fact that he was already a teenager and wanted to be cool.

“I knew right then that this…us…our life…that the kids had accepted it as their reality. That they wanted it to be permanent”, Emma stated and pulled Regina out of her thoughts.

When Regina didn’t say anything in reply Emma continued, “Ever since you came to take care of us when we had the flu and you didn’t run for the hills I was hopeful that things could work out for all of us, but it was the night we had that horrible fight…the night you slept on the couch. I woke up early because I wanted to talk to you, but you weren’t there…because you were out with Henry…I knew right then. That I would move heaven and hell to make it work because losing you was no option. It was that morning that I realised that I really believed in us and that we could do it. That we could make it work despite how hard things were back then. Because I couldn’t…and I can’t to this day…imagine a life without you, Regina. And I’m so glad and so grateful that you took a chance on me, on us, on the kids because…I love you. I love you so much and I just…”

Regina pulled her into a hug and kissed her gently, “I know. I love you too, Emma. More than you’ll ever know and I’m so thankful that you never gave up on me because I’m well aware that I can be incredibly awkward and intense and complicated. And you never minded. You never asked me to changed. You always just asked me to be me. And the children did the same. And it means so much that you love me all the same.”

Emma smiled at her then, “Believe it or not, Regina. As flawed as you are…you’re perfect for us. Perfectly flawed to fit right in.”

She was about to lean in and kiss Emma again, but she stopped mid-move when Emma put her hand on her chest to push her back.  
There was no force behind it and the touch was soft, but it irritated Regina anyway.

“And because you fit right in”, Emma started to speak once again, “And because I know that there is no one else I’d rather be with…”

The next thing Regina registered was Emma on bended knee, holding a box with a beautiful diamond ring in her hand, “Regina Mills. Will you marry me?”

All Regina could do was nod while the first tears streamed down her face while everything that was happening started to sink in.  
“I…yes. Yes, of course”, she croaked out at last, voice raspy, “But there is one condition.”

Emma looked at her in confusion, “Condition?”

Regina nodded again, “A marriage…to me…is a permanent thing.”

This time it was Emma, who nodded, “Yeah. Absolutely.”

“And if we make _this_ ”, Regina pointed at Emma and then at herself, “If we make this permanent…we should make all of it permanent.”

“All of it?”  
The confusion on Emma’s face only seemed to grow.

“I talked to Marian the other day and she said our chances would be good…in case we would consider adopting the children”, Regina explained with a hesitant smile.

Emma looked at her in disbelief, eyes wide, “A-are you…are you serious?!”

“Of course. I mean we are a family and I don’t mean to brag, but the company is doing better than ever so money won’t be an issue. Don’t you think they deserve that? Knowing that they will always have a home with us? I mean they will grow up eventually and leave the system and…I just want them to know that they will always have us and…you are a package deal. I knew that, well, not from the start, but before our relationship started. It was my choice back then…to take that deal. And I’ve never regretted it since. So that package deal…I still want it. I want it all.”

Before Regina could continue her rambling Emma kissed her breathless.

\-------------

The kids were ecstatic about the engagement, but they were even happier when Regina and Emma told them about their plans of adopting all of them.  
The joy in their innocent eyes was the most amazing gift Regina had ever received, she was sure of it.

\-------------

All of their friends were at the manor and everyone was thrilled to hear that Regina and Emma would get married.  
Kathryn swatted Frederick on the arm for not proposing yet although she had to do all the work of carrying their baby and caused everyone to laugh out loud, knowing full well that the blonde was only joking.

They had allowed the children to stay up this once because it was a very special occasion and Regina and Emma wanted to start the new year with the whole family.  
And once the clock finally stroke midnight there were kisses and hugs everywhere and it was complete madness and there was so much joy and love and laughter that Regina thought her heart might burst.

When things calmed down, at last, she looked around the room and saw that Henry was standing outside on the terrace by himself, looking at the stars.

She wasn’t particularly worried, but decided to check on him anyway and so Regina found herself standing on the snow-covered terrace only a few moments later while she realised how cold it was.

“Don’t you want to come back inside, Henry?”  
Her tone was caring, motherly and it caused the boy to turn around, a knowing smile on his face.

“I just wanted to…I think I wanted to thank my parents or whoever it is up there…who’s looking out for me, you know?”

Regina was taken aback by the answer, but nodded in understanding. It was a nice thought that someone beloved and already departed would watch over them.

“I never thought I’d have that after getting moved around so much. I didn’t even dare to dream about a real home, a family. Siblings basically. Parents. I mean I can’t even remember mine”, Henry explained his thoughts, “And yet here I am and I’m so grateful.”

Regina hugged him then.  
She hadn’t been sure if Henry would appreciate because he wasn’t a child anymore after all, but she sure as hell needed the comfort in that moment.

“I think I’ll never get too old for hugs”, Henry mused and took her fears away like he always did.

Regina pulled back to look at him properly and her smile was radiant, “Happy New Year, Henry.”

He beamed at her, eyes sparkling with pure, unadulterated joy, “Happy New Year, Mom.”

\-------------

Emma had come to check on Regina and Henry, but had watched the scene unfold from the shadows, unbeknownst to the both of them.

It warmed her heart to see that bond between Regina and Henry growing stronger by the day.  
They truly were like mother and son and to Emma that was the most beautiful thing to watch day by day.

All of the kids adored Regina and she adored them right back, but Henry’s and Regina’s relationship was one of a kind.  
And Emma was well aware that he had a huge part in them getting together and becoming a family in the first place.  
He had known it would work out before anyone else had. He had believed with all his heart and he still did.

Snowflakes started to fall and she finally stepped forward, announcing her presence, “Are you planning on being popsicles first thing in the New Year, you two crazies?”

Regina and Henry laughed out loud and pulled Emma into a hug once she reached them and then the door flew open and the rest of the kids stormed outside as well.   
Shrieking because of the cold, but also in delight and soon they were all huddled together, hugging each other and they watched the snowflakes dance in the air, watched the stars.

In the big picture they only were some tiny dots in the universe, who wouldn’t make much of a difference, but to each other they were everything.

_The End._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Thanks to everyone, who went on this crazy ride with me.**   
>  **Your comments, encouragement and support has been such a delight.**
> 
> **But seeing as all good things have to come to an end eventually ‘Package Deal’ has to as well.**
> 
> **Though I have decided that I will turn this into a collection and if the muse is willing I might add little one-shots** **or drabbles to the ‘Package Deal’ universe from time to time.**  
>  **Little glimpses into their everyday lives and such.In case anyone is interested in that.**
> 
> **All that is left to say at this point is THANK YOU all for the journey.I will now return to all the unfinished stories I** **have and there are some new adventures as the works as well, of course.**
> 
> **Anyway.**   
>  **Happy New Year, everyone!**   
>  **May 2018 be everything you want it to be and may all your dreams and wishes come true!**
> 
> **Much love to all of you from me and my pack xo**


End file.
